Haunted Dreams
by The-Sakura-Chan
Summary: The destruction of Haven had a lasting impact on to the Inquisition's leader, one which plagues her dreams and haunts her night. Can she find peace in the comforting presence of her Commander or will she be forever forced to watch those she holds dear fall to Corypheus? Slight twist on the F Inquisitor X Cullen romance in DA:I. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: This story is rated mature for later chapters.

Note: All characters are owned by BioWare.

Welcome to my Dragon Age: Inquisition story. This story will be a twist on the romance plot with Cullen. Enjoy and feedback is always welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter One**

Ever since the attack on Haven by Corypheus, and their forced movement to Skyhold, Evelyn had been unable to get a good night's sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the faces of those they had lost. All those she'd been unable to save that night, those she hadn't been able to get to in time. The guilt weighed heavily on her mind, plaguing her dreams whenever she would finally drift off to sleep.

With her quarters away from everyone else, Evelyn found herself feeling lonely when she parted from her companions. When she was with people she trusted she was able to be her normal self, determined to the core, willing to do anything to stop the fighting between the mages and templars, and to help anyone she met. She had been promoted to the position of Inquisitor, leading her merry band of men and women against those who wished to see the world fall into chaos. It was this burden, this responsibility, which was another reason why she wasn't able to sleep.

She had left her friends shortly after dusk, bidding them all a pleasant evening before making an excuse about needing an early night. While she knew that sleep was unlikely to happen, her companions agreed that she deserved some rest. She had not stopped since arriving at Skyhold, whether it was travelling across the land to close rifts or helping to restore their new home to it's former glory. She wanted to do it all and slowly it was beginning to become obvious that the stress was catching up with her. She had snapped at Sera for no reason, the elf being her usual crazy self, which clearly hadn't gone down well with the Inquisitor. She was already regretting her reaction.

Staring out onto the mountain side, Evelyn wrapped her arms around her chest as she studied the stars. She had dressed for sleeping, in a thin pair of breeches and a flowing top, having hoped that exhaustion would allow her to slumber for a little while undisturbed. However it was not meant to be that night. It hadn't been long before she had woken with a cry, tears slipping down her cheeks as her mind replayed the haunting screams of the people she had left in Haven.

A deep sigh left her lips as she wandered back into her large room and closed the doors to the balcony behind her. She didn't feel like spending her evening star gazing, having already spent too many evenings lost in the beauty of the night sky. Unsure of what else to do with herself, Evelyn began a leisurely walk down her staircase and along the corridors of the keep until she came into Josephine's room.

The Ambassador looked up from her desk as the Inquisitor drew close, a faint smile on her lips as she studied the woman. As the eldest daughter to the noble Montilyet family, Josephine knew more about diplomacy then almost anyone in the Inquisition. It was her charm, grace and careful favours which were helping to forge relations with some of Thedas's more influential figures. Evelyn wasn't sure what they would do without her sometimes.

Slumping down into one of the comfortable chairs by the fireplace, Evelyn could feel the eyes of her advisor on her as she sat there. She could feel her own eyes slipping closed for a moment as she relaxed in the company of another. While she wasn't going to admit what she was doing, she was sure Josephine was smart enough to figure out it. It felt comforting being around someone else instead of all alone in an oversized room. If only the silence could have continued for a little longer.

"Inquisitor, do you mind if I ask you a question?" The accented voice of her advisor drifted across the room, causing her to shift slightly in the seat she had settled in so she at least appeared to be more awake then she felt.

"Of course Josephine. What would you like to ask?" Evelyn stared into the roaring fire as she spoke, hoping the Ambassador's question was merely something small and not a matter which would require her to do a lot of thinking. She spent most days having to force her head around the issues which plagued the lands and what they could do to solve them, which was enough to wear down even the most resilient person.

"I was wondering if you had heard from your family recently?" Josephine spoke in a timid voice, clearly not sure whether she should be asking her question but doing so all the same.

It has been a long time since Evelyn had heard from anyone from House Trevelyan. While they had been residing in Haven, she had attempted to write a letter to her family, but had given up after being interrupted one too many times. She loved her family dearly, always had, but leading the Inquisition was something she wanted to do without her parents or siblings at her back. She knew that keeping the name Trevelyan was probably not helping her cause, but she couldn't bring herself to cast the name and therefore part of her identity aside.

"I have not heard from them, no." She said after a while, turning her attention across the room to the Ambassador for a moment before returning her gaze to the flames of the fire. She could tell that the woman was plotting something, most likely something to do with her family, but she didn't have the energy to argue the woman down from whatever idea she had.

"Your name will hold some weight when we seek to make connections with some of the other noble houses. As I have most likely said before, I am sure having the full backing of your family would help our case." Josephine was attempting to keep her voice light and void of any emotion, but she was failing badly. The Inquisitor knew that the woman was desperate to make contact with members of the Trevelyan family, having explained time and time again the possible positive effects the action would have. But every time Evelyn had crushed the idea. She didn't want them involved.

"Not now Josephine." She knew her words were said in a snapped manner, but she couldn't help herself. Her lack of peaceful sleep and the weight of leading something as imposing as the Inquisition was starting to make her normally tame temper flare in a manner which seemed less determined and more angry.

After half an hour, Evelyn gave up on trying to find some peace with Josephine. After her outburst all had gone quiet for a while, neither one of them saying anything as they sat in silence. However as time went by, Josephine must have found some of her courage again as she began to ask about the Trevelyan's once more. Making her excuses, she hurried away from the Ambassador before she was able to ask her anything else about her family, making a mental note not to seek refuge with the woman again.

By now most of the people who had been in the throne room when the Inquisitor had left were long gone, leaving only a few who took little notice of her as she crossed the room. Varric was in his normal spot, smiling when he saw her drawing near. As much as she loved the dwarf, she knew she would find little peace if she stayed with him. But that wasn't enough to stop her from going over to him all the same.

The man was well known for the stories he could tell, and for the effort he would go to in attempting to gain some information from you to help craft a new one. In the short amount of time they had been in Skyhold, the bowman had weaved a number of tales about both the place itself and the people who were currently living within its walls. Due to her lack of sleep, Evelyn was certain that if she stayed around the man for too long, she was going to tell him something she would regret by the morning. Varric had a way of spreading his stories which meant that by the time you found out, everyone else had already known for hours, maybe even days.

"I thought you had gone to bed Ginger?" The dwarf said with a smile, folding his arms over his chest as he waited to hear her excuse. She opened her mouth a couple of times, hoping that a reasonable explanation would tumble from her lips, but nothing did. Giving a weak sigh, she shrugged one of her shoulders before looking about herself.

"I didn't." Was all she said in the end, returning her gaze to the male. The smile on his lips had faltered slightly as he studied her, an unsure look in his eyes. Normally Varric would have made some humorous comment about how she wasn't able to sleep because she was thinking about one of her companions or advisors in a provocative manner. But this time the dwarf wasn't acting like his usual self.

"This sort of place will do that to you." He spoke with a knowing look on his face, his smile having vanished now as he looked towards the open doors of the throne room. As much as he liked to tell stories, there was some things about Varric which Evelyn was still yet to learn. One of the biggest questions and one she had asked many times before, was why he had named his crossbow Bianca. It was a story he refused to tell and one which implied that there was some things she would never know about the dwarf.

Wishing the male a good evening, she slipped through the door by his side to leave him in peace and shuffled along the corridor until she came across Solas.

The elf barely registered her appearance, his attention fixed on his painting. The Inquisitor wasn't sure what story he was attempting to tell on his walls, but she was fascinated with it all the same. Sinking down into a wooden chair, she couldn't help staring at the pictures all around her, her head thrown back so she could take it all in.

When at last the elf seemed satisfied with the section he was working on, he settled himself into a chair next to Evelyn, looking up at his work with a faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Neither one of them said anything as they sat there, each one lost in their own thoughts with their eyes on the painting. Solas was unique in the fact that when he dreamed he was able to see beyond the Veil, learning about the history of a place just by sleeping there. It was something which the elf seemed to enjoy greatly.

Since arriving at Skyhold, Evelyn had found the elf on many occasions sleeping in different parts of the keep. He had mentioned that a long history was contained within the walls of the buildings and he seemed to relish the idea of being able to learn them all in time. It made her smile slightly to think that Solas, someone she had never seen raise his voice or lose his temper, could enjoy a slumber filled with dreams of days gone by. She wished she was able to do the same.

While the Inquisitor was sure she could have happily fallen into a relaxed slumber just then, she feared to do so in case Solas was to join her. She trusted the mage, having taken him with her on many outings across Thedas, but that didn't mean she wasn't afraid of what he might be able to do. She didn't want anyone knowing of her dreams, of the screams for help she heard or the broken and lifeless bodies she pictured sometimes. She didn't want them to worry, or think her unstable and unable to lead.

Evelyn didn't say anything when she left the elf, not wanting to pull him away from whatever thoughts he might have been having. Moving up through the tower, she noticed that Dorian was not in his normal place in the library but Leliana was. The Spymaster moved about with a grace that the Inquisitor had not noticed before, completely consumed with preparing and receiving reports from her agents to notice Evelyn.

It did not shock her to find the bard working so late, having guessed that the best time to carry out her sort of work was once the sun had gone down. It sadden her slightly to think that at times Leliana was surrounded by death. While the woman mostly worked in secrets, the swift removal of people was also a part of her job. Just thinking about it caused the Inquisitor to recall memories she had been hoping to repress that evening.

Leliana had seen and done much in her life, having fought darkspawn in the Fifth Blight, met the champion of Kirkwall and now as advisor to the Inquisition. In all those years she had seen many people come and go, and yet she still worked tirelessly in the hope that someday they could bring peace to the people of Thedas.

Not wanting to disturb the woman, Evelyn proceeded back down the tower before Leliana spotted her, slipping out of the door in Solas' room which lead to the battlements. The cold night air whipped around her, ruffling her red hair and causing a shiver to work down her spine. She could hear the sound of those who were in the tavern, their laughter easily reaching her ears even in the breeze which surrounded her.

The Inquisitor suspected that many of her companions could most likely be found drinking the night away, having found them asleep in their drinks on a number of mornings. Iron Bull had made the tavern his home along with his company, while Sera had taken a room upstairs to herself. Not finding them inside would have been a surprise. Evelyn suspected that Dorian, Blackwall and Cole could also be found in the watering hole, having spotted none of them on her trip around the keep. Cassandra and Vivienne were both likely to be in their quarters for the evening, neither seeming to be fans of getting blind drunk just for the sake of getting drunk.

She considered going down to the tavern and joining anyone she found, using alcohol to drive away the demons which filled her mind. But she knew it wouldn't work. She had tried it once before and the end result had not been pretty. Her body had not liked the amount she had attempted to drink and she had spent the rest of the evening in the privacy of her own room trying tirelessly not to make a mess all over the floor.

Surveying the buildings around her, she noted that there was still light shining from Commander Cullen's office. The former templar was the leader of the Inquisition's military and their tactical advisor in the war they were fighting. He was a man that Evelyn had come to trust, along with Josephine and Leliana, to help her make the decisions that needed to be made. She could tell that he was someone with his own troubles, having spoken a few times about things which had happened in the past. Cullen had seen things which would have broken weaker man.

Without thinking about what she was doing, Evelyn found herself walking towards the Commander's door, slipping silently inside once she realised the man was busy talking to someone. A group of guards were currently huddled in the small space, listening intently as Cullen gave his instructions. Even at the late hour, the man was still wearing his amour, the candlelight causing the metal to shine slightly. It almost gave him a divine appearance.

She had noticed that Cullen could always be found wearing his amour and fur lined coat, no matter what was happening. Having been a templar for most of his life, she suspected that the habit of being dressed ready for battle had become engrained into his very being, becoming a defining part of who he was. Evelyn had to admit she liked a man in amour.

Using the wall behind her for support, the Inquisitor brought herself down to the ground in one graceful movement, pulling her knees to her chest in order to take up as little room as possible. She found herself smiling as she listened to Cullen talk, her eyes slipping closed as she sat upon the floor. Oddly enough his voice was a like gentle caress on her troubled mind, keeping her focused on the present and not the past.

"I want an hourly rotation. Two men per post. If you notice anything unusual, I want one of you to come straight to me." Cullen spoke in a commanding tone, a chorus of agreement coming from the group. This was a man who held the respect of his troops without the need for fear. It was a quality she admired greatly. For someone who was as new to leading as she was, she couldn't help looking up to the Commander.

At some point she must have drifted off to sleep, because when she opened her eyes next the group of people had all disappeared. Looking across the room, she noticed that Cullen was still at his desk, bent over as he scribbled on something. The candles which had been set up around him cast a shadow across his face, hiding his expression from Evelyn's view. There was no denying that she found the Commander to be attractive, having caught herself on many occasions simply staring across the war table at him as they discussed something.

She wasn't sure what it was about the male that made her feel calm, but at that moment in time she felt confident that she could easily fall into a deep slumber without having to worry about any nightmares to wake her. Being in Cullen's presence seemed to be enough to comfort her troubled mind. This was somewhat different to the peace she had experienced sitting with Josephine and Solas. Here she did not fear being asked a barge of questions or worried about someone appearing in her dreams. Here her mind struggled to conjure the images it normally threw her way.

"You are awake my lady." Cullen suddenly said, seeming to have noticed her hidden on the floor across the room from him. For a moment she was sure she caught a look of concern on his face before it disappeared behind a nervous expression, watching as the male rubbed at the back of his neck. She had learnt by now that whenever the Commander felt uncomfortable in a situation, he would rub at his neck, an action which she had yet to fully get her head around.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." The male bowed down his head slightly as he spoke, shuffling some papers on his desk before turning his gaze back to her. She realised at that point that Cullen was no longer wearing his usual plumage topped coat. Looking down at herself, she found the garment to be wrapped around her body, the soft furs tickling her skin as she moved. There was something very sweet and touching about the gesture.

"Don't be sorry Cullen. I should be apologizing to you for invading your space without asking." Evelyn spoke with a smile, nuzzling into the warmth of the coat as she sat there. Out of the corner of her eye she caught the look on the Commander's face as he watched her, seemingly transfixed by her. Maybe she hadn't been imagining the prolonged looks she had caught the male giving her, not being able to deny the look of longing she saw now.

"I like it when you invade my space." Cullen said under his breath, most likely not expecting the Inquisitor to catch what he had said. As he looked over to her, a slight blush formed on his cheeks. He had spotted the smirk which was playing at the corner of her mouth, giving her away. She didn't know whether the male was implying something more then simply not minding her coming to visit him in his office, but a part of her liked to think that maybe there was a deeper meaning to the comment.

"Maybe I'll do it more in the future." Evelyn whispered in reply, watching as the blush which had appeared on Cullen's face brightened a touch. He was adorable when he got flustered and she felt only a tiny bit guilty for causing it. A yawn forced its way out of her mouth, tiredness sweeping through her as she sat on the floor. She needed to go to bed but didn't want to leave the Commander just yet.

"Just give me five more minutes please." She knew her words had come out as a plead, but in that moment she didn't care. The comfort she took from being encased in Cullen's warm coat and sitting in his presence was not something she wanted to give up so quickly. The idea of returning to her lonely room was enough to have her bury her head further into the fur of the coat, the smell of the outdoors and spices filling her lungs. If this was what the Commander normally smelled like, she would have to borrow his jacket more often.

"As you wish Inquisitor." Cullen spoke in a hushed tone, the ruffling of paperwork and the scratching of writing drifting over to her, signalling that the Commander had gone back to his work. It was nice that he didn't question why she wanted to sit on his floor and sleep. She smiled to herself over Cullen's seeming inability to call her by her first name. Most of her companions and advisors called her Evelyn, or some nickname they had come up with, yet the Commander seemed unable to do the same.

"Evelyn. Call me Evelyn." She wasn't sure if Cullen had heard her, seeing as she had whispered out the words. But at that moment in time it didn't matter to her if he had heard or not. For the first time in what felt like forever she drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Said slumber did mean she missed the Commander saying her first name.

* * *

The warmth of the sun on her face woke Evelyn with a start. Sitting bolt upright, it took a couple of moments for the Inquisitor to work out where she was and what was going on. Blinking, she slowly realised that she was still in Commander Cullen's office on his floor by the door. The sun was shining through a window across from her, chasing away the slight chill she felt.

Looking down at herself, she realised that someone had taken the time to put some pillows under her head and a blanket over her, the pillows indicating that at some point while sleeping she had slipped from her sitting position to laying on the floor. She was still wrapped in Cullen's jacket and judging by the fact that sunlight was pouring in through the windows, she had slept with the item all night long. Now felt like a good time to leave.

Standing up, she stretched out her body, throwing her arms above her head and reaching her fingertips up to the ceiling. Looking up at the floor above her, she wondered whether Cullen was still asleep or if he had already left for the day. She couldn't hear the sound of breathing or snoring, but then again she didn't know what sort of noises the Commander made in his sleep. For a second she stood there thinking about what Cullen might look like while sleeping. It was a thought she was quick to push out of her mind, knowing it wasn't appropriate.

Crossing the room, she carefully placed Cullen's jacket onto the back of his chair, before folding up the blanket she had used. She put this along with the pillows onto the Commander's desk. The surface was covered in reports from scouts, troops and even a few of her own reports from her time out in the field. As leader of the Inquisition, she found herself constantly travelling across Thedas in an attempt to solve the world's problems, and at times it was required that she sent back reports. She had no idea Cullen had been saving them, or maybe she was thinking a little too deep into their presence on the table.

Finding a blanket piece of paper, she thought about a writing an apologize for falling asleep on Cullen's floor but in the end all she could muster was 'Thank you. E.' She left the note in the centre of the desk, hoping the Commander would find it before silently leaving the tower.

It must have been early in the morning because the keep was almost completely silent. She noticed a couple of people wandering around, either soldiers on patrol along the battlements or Master Dennet and his men attending to the horses. However there was no sign of the troops who would normally be found practising in the yard, or the groups of nobles who would come to visit Skyhold. It was nice to see the place without all the noise that usually accompanied it.

Guessing that it wouldn't be long until breakfast was served in the throne room and her companions woke, she made her way swiftly back into the main building and over to her private quarters. Her footsteps echoed as she made her way up the staircase which led into her room, a cold chill lingering in the air. The loneliness and guilt she had felt the night before returned as she stepped into the bedroom, the sunlight doing it's best to scare away the darkness but not succeeding.

Giving a deep sigh, she tried to clear her mind of the pictures it was attempting to force to the front. For once she had been able to have a peaceful sleep without reminders of Haven disturbing her and she wanted it to stay that way for as much of the day as she could get. There was a lot she needed to get done and standing around doing nothing because of her guilt was not going to help anyone.

After a quick bath, she pulled on a fresh set of clothes for the day, opting for her lighter amour as she suspected she was be heading out at some point. Towel drying her hair, she ruffled the red locks into a presentable style before making her way down to the throne room. She had an Inquisition to lead after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: This story is rated mature for later chapters.

Note: All characters are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

"Maker's breath. The woman needs a break. The moment she got back from the Crestwood she was back out again to the Western Approach. She needs time to rest." Cullen spoke with a note of concern in his voice, hand resting on his sword as he looked between his fellow advisors.

"You don't think we know that Cullen. I keep suggesting a break to Val Royeaux, but she keeps turning me down." Josephine said from across the war table, her eyebrow raised slightly as she watched the Commander. Everything the Ambassador did was somehow related to her work. Going to Val Royeaux would mean meeting with nobles and he was confident he knew why Evelyn had no interest in going.

"Going to Val Roueaux is not a break Josephine." The Commander replied, staring down at the map of Thedas which was laid out on the table in front of him. He understood why the Inquisitor was always so busy, but after finding her asleep on the floor of his quarters, he hadn't been able to shake the feeling that she was struggling. He knew the woman would never say anything to any of them, her desire to restore peace to the land stopping her from being able to relax. However that didn't mean they couldn't force her into taking a break.

"You seem very concerned about our Inquisitor, Commander. Is there something we should know?" Leliana had that sly tone to her voice which implied she already suspected something was going on. The woman was their Spymaster after all and knew almost everything that went on in Skyhold. Not that there was anything going on. He knew that if anyone had seen Evelyn slipping from his quarters in the early hours of the morning, it must have appeared as if something was going on. But the Commander had not been bold enough to try anything. Currently all he was able to do was look from afar.

He could feel a slight blush creeping onto his checks and without thinking his hand went to rub at the back of his neck. Out of the corner of his eye he caught the expression on Leliana's face, one that said she was reading into his lack of response and noted the way he rubbed at his neck as he always did in awkward situations. Sometimes he hated working around bards.

"I am merely thinking about what's best for the Inquisition. If we lose the Inquisitor then we lose our leader and in the process we'll lose support and the potential to defeat Corypheus." He knew it was a rubbish excuse for why he was taking such an interest in Evelyn, but he wasn't about to admit how he felt to the Ambassador or Spymaster. He suffered their jests enough already to want to self inflict any more on himself.

"I'll see if I can persuade some of our visitors to arrive a day later than planned." Josephine said, scribbling down notes as she wandered around the war table and towards the doors to leave. If anyone could talk people of power into doing things, it was the Ambassador.

"My agents will handle any small matters." Leliana added, drawing close to Cullen before whispering. "You can inform the Inquisitor."

Leliana's words only served to intensify the blush he was attempting to restrain. The woman knew what she was doing and it annoyed the Commander. He was meant to be the leader of their troops, not some blushing recruit who was getting worked up at the thought of talking to a pretty girl. He needed to regain some control and quickly.

Since meeting Evelyn after the events at the Conclave, Cullen had been unable to deny the fact that he felt drawn to her. She was a beautiful woman, with a determination to help people which far outstripped anyone he had ever meet before. He recalled the way she had jokingly flirted with him when he had began lecturing her in Haven about what they could achieve. He suspected it was at that moment that he had begun to fall for the woman.

Cullen watched as Josephine and Leliana left the room, each giving him a knowing look as they made their exit. He could only hope they would both keep their mouths shut about what they thought was happening between himself and Trevelyan.

Taking a moment to regain control over himself, the Commander studied the map before him. The Inquisition had made a great deal of progress since arriving in Skyhold, mostly due to the efforts of Evelyn and her companions. There was days when Cullen wished he was able to venture outside of the keep with the Inquisitor, to aid in battling demons and helping those who had become caught in the crossfire. However he knew where he was needed and that was with the troops. Someone needed to be there for the men and women who served the Inquisition, organising and seeing to their training, planning their next move, ensuring they were prepared for what they would face. It was a job he couldn't step away from, no matter how much he liked the idea of adventuring with Evelyn.

Pushing away from the table, Cullen ran his hand through his golden hair before straightening his clothes and making his way out of the war room. He was unsure where the Inquisitor would be, but he needed to find her in order to inform her of what was happening. He wasn't sure yet how the woman would take what Josephine, Leliana and he had decided, the woman having a slight stubborn side at times. Her dedication to the cause sometimes meant she was blind to what was happening to herself.

Walking out into the throne room, the Commander ran his eyes over the groups of people who had collected in the room. In the day, the place was normally filled with nobles and those of power who had come to see the Inquisitor. Sometimes the woman would stop to speak with them, other times she left Josephine to deal with them. It always made him smile when he saw the look on the Ambassador's face at Evelyn's dismissal of the noble men and women. Jose hadn't learned yet that the Inquisitor preferred to do things her own way.

Stepping around people, Cullen attempted to make his way towards the main doors to leave but was stopped. Someone had called out his name and turning his head, he saw that the voice belonged to a scout who was walking towards him. The man bowed his head as a sign of respect before handing over a stack of reports and disappearing off again. One of Leliana's people no doubt.

Attention set on the papers in his hand, he shuffled through them slowly, reading over what was written on each. They were making progress in Exalted Plains, some unusually activity had been noted in Emprise Du Lion and someone was stealing the daggers in Skyhold. No matter what he did, none of them would ever truly get a break from things.

"What's wrong Curly?" Varric's voice caused Cullen to jump slightly, his free hand slipping to his sword as he turned his head to make eye contact with the dwarf. There was a smirk on the man's face that said he had enjoyed watching the Commander's reaction. Taking a deep breath, he allowed his hand to fall away from the handle of his blade as he turned slightly to face him.

"Nothing Varric. I was looking for the Inquisitor." He wasn't sure why he had revealed to the bowman what he was doing, but the words were out of his mouth before he was able to stop himself. Cullen couldn't help feeling a slight connection with the dwarf, seeing as they had both been there in Kirkwall when the Chantry was destroyed and everything went crazy. Nevertheless, he was slightly wary of Varric, seeing as the man was known for the stories he crafted.

"The Inquisitor. Hoping to finally have your way with the woman?"Varric said, doing his best to keep his face neutral as he spoke. Cullen was only half listening to the words of the dwarf, his eyes scanning the room, looking for Evelyn.

"Yes... I mean no!" Cullen's eyes snapped back to Varric as he realised what he had asked, a blush creeping up onto his checks. His mind instantly filled with images of Evelyn, her face flushed, wrapped in nothing but his overcoat. He was walking a dangerous road thinking such things and he knew it. Clearing his throat, he did his best to push the thoughts of the Trevelyan to the back of his mind before replying.

"I need to speak to her. Reports to show her." Cullen waved the pieces of paper he was holding in front of Varric, trying to reinforcing both to himself and the dwarf that he was a professional, purely seeking their leader to discuss war. "Nothing more."

Varric gave him a look that said he didn't believe him, waving his hand through the air as he spoke. "If you say so Curly. She said she was going down to the stable when I spoke to her. Don't know if she's still there"

Thanking the dwarf, the Commander was quick to put some distance between them, knowing that if he stayed any longer he was going to say something else he regretted. He heard the dwarf call out after him, yelling something about his secret being safe with him, but didn't turn back to ask what he had meant by that.

Padding out of the throne room, Cullen took the stairs two at a time in his haste, slowing down only when he got to the bottom to stop himself crashing into someone. He knew he shouldn't let Varric or anyone else get him so worked up, but when it came to Evelyn it seemed he couldn't help himself. The woman was on his mind more then he would admit and yet he was unsure about acting on the feelings which were beginning to form. She was the Inquisitor, he was their Commander. It just wasn't that simple.

Cullen passed some of his men training, nodding in approval as he watched them for a moment before walking on by. Each day more people came to join them at Skyhold, whether they were simply seeking shelter from the war or looking to join the Inquisition to be a force of good. On one hand it meant the Commander's workload was increasing every day, on the other it meant they were starting to have the number of troops needed to make an impact across Thedas.

Rounding a corner, he stopped in his tracks as he caught sight of the person he had been looking for. Evelyn was stood outside of the stables by her strikingly beautiful mount. The wild hart had a coat of glorious pinks and purples, a rare sight among the creatures that Master Dennet kept in the keep. The Inquisitor had her head pressed against the animal's neck, neither moving from their spot. From what Cullen understood, the Trevelyan was the only one who could ride the hart, anyone else being thrown to the ground the moment they tried.

While Evelyn didn't move from her position as Cullen approached, the hart did react. The creature let out a cry, eyes pinned on the male as he came closer. The tales of how nervous it was were true then. This creature was still very much wild at heart, the call to return to the forests of Thedas probably strong within it's mind. Holding his hands up in defence, the Commander kept himself at a respectful distance from the animal, trying to sound soothing as he told the mount to relax. He did not want to get on the wrong side of any animal so much bigger then him.

"Calm yourself. You have nothing to fear from Cullen." Evelyn spoke softly, her hands running over the creature's coat. To be able to stand so close to the hart without showing fear was an amazing sight. The hart gave one final look in Cullen's direction before giving a loud snort and dropping its head down, relaxing back to the state it had been in before he had arrived. This woman really was something.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Inquisitor." Cullen said, his hand reaching to rub at his neck. He caught himself at the last moment, mentally berating himself as he dropped his hand back down and attempted to look as relaxed as possible. He needed to remain professional. He watched as Evelyn removed her head from the hart's neck, turning her attention to him with a cheeky smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.

"I keep telling you, call me Evelyn." She patted the animal as she spoke, not taking her eyes away from Cullen. Her red hair was in its usual messy style, strands having escaped from her ponytail to fall into her face. She was dressed in her leather armour, a pack down on the ground along with her saddle. It looked like she was preparing to leave again. "How can I help you Cullen?'

"Were you getting ready to depart Skyhold?" Cullen asked, noting the concerned tone in his voice and cursing himself for it. He was simply here to inform her that she wouldn't need to go back out for a day or so, nothing more. Sadly his mind liked to remind him of Varric's comments and the pictures which had formed in his mind.

"Yes. I have a few loose ends to tie up in the Hinterlands before the nobles arrive in a few days." While she was speaking, she turned her attention back onto the hart, running her hands over its coat before reaching down to grab it's saddle. The beast wasn't tied up like most of the horses, simply standing in place while Evelyn worked. What strange magic did she possess to be able to keep the animal relaxed and still in such in a busy keep?

"There is no need to ride out so soon. Josephine has agreed to persuade the nobles to delay their arrival and Leliana is seeing to some of the smaller matters the Inquisition needs to look into." Cullen said, taking a few steps towards Evelyn. He watched as a number of emotions ran over the Inquisitor's face, first confusion, then relief, before settling on what looked to be annoyance.

"And this was decided without asking me?" Her words were slightly clipped, her eyes fixed on the saddle she was holding in her hands. This hadn't been the reaction Cullen had been hoping for. He had thought that the woman would be happy to have a day to herself and yet it seemed her stubborn nature was peeking through.

"It was. You're working yourself to the bone and won't take a moment for yourself." Cullen crossed his arms over his chest, standing his ground as he watched the woman. Just as she could be stubborn at times, the Commander could also be steadfast in his decisions.

"Someone needs to be out there Cullen. Corypheus won't stop and neither will I." She turned her attention on to him as she spoke, the spark of her determination blazing in her eyes as she studied the man. There was something going on which went a lot deeper than just her desire to stop Corypheus and his men. Something she wasn't telling any of them.

"Please Evelyn." Her name slipped out of his mouth without thought, the professional guard he normally put up breaking slightly as he argued with her.

The Inquisitor stood with her mouth hanging open slightly, unmoving from her spot as she stared at the Commander. He felt himself becoming uncomfortable with the way she looked at him, her face softening slightly as her eyes roamed over him. His hand itched to rub at the back of his neck and he wanted to turn away from her purely to stop the awkwardness. Why did she have to look at him like he was the only one that mattered at that moment?

"You called me by my name." She spoke in a whisper, the annoyed tone she had been using having disappeared. She was going to be his undoing if she kept talking in such a hushed timbre.

"I...Yes... I did." Maker's breath, he needed to get a hold of himself. And not in the manner that his mind was currently thinking about.

"Thank you Cullen. I appreciate your concern." She was smiling as she spoke, eyes having turned down to the floor slightly as she turned her hands in circles on the hart's coat. The Commander bowed his head slightly in response before turning to leave. While he wanted more than anything to spend some time with Evelyn, he suspected that she had things she would want to do on her day off.

"Wait!" Her voice cut through the silence, halting Cullen in his tracks. Turning slightly, he looked back to see Evelyn with her hand outstretched towards him, having taken a step away from the creature she had been petting. There was a look on her face, a look of fear which called to him.

"Yes my lady?" He asked, placing his hand onto the handle of his sword as he stood there. His mind was coming up with all manner of reasons why Evelyn would want him to stay, ranging from simply thanking him again for his work to the Inquisitor asking him to take her roughly in a deserted part of Skyhold. He was fighting against his own imagination and currently it was a loosing battle.

"Erm...I...Are there any reports I need to know about?" She said after stumbling a few times. Evelyn had dropped her hand back down to her side, the fear he had seen on her face having been replaced now with a calm expression.

"Yes. These and a few others." Cullen waved the pieces of paper he had forgotten he was holding, focusing on the idea of work to stop himself from thinking about Evelyn. It was harder to achieve then he thought, but if he wanted to stop the keep from talking about his seeming infatuation with the Inquisitor, he needed to start behaving like the Commander he was.

Evelyn reached for her pack and lifted it up onto her shoulder before speaking. "I would like to see those reports if possible." Even when the woman was told to relax she worried about the Inquisition. It seemed that Josephine, Leliana and himself would have a task on their hands to get Evelyn to take a day without thinking about the war and what she could do to aid them.

"I can get the reports from my office and bring them to you if you like." He offered, folding the papers he was holding and placing them inside of his jacket.

"No. I'll come with you." She spoke in a rush, looking a little surprised at herself after she had finished. Cullen felt a slight blush form on his cheeks as he processed Trevelyan's word. He knew he was reading into things a little too much, but he couldn't help the way his brain worked at times.

"As you wish my lady." Cullen could feel a smile forming on his lips as he spoke, struggling to remove it as he watched the way Evelyn shifted uncomfortable on the spot before she began to guide her mount away from him. He would need all the help he could get from the Maker to remain professional.

* * *

Evelyn was quick to lead her hart back to its space in Master Dennet's stables. The creature seemed confused about what was happening, but after she whispered some reassuring words about what she was doing the animal relaxed. The hart was a beautiful creature, still wild in nature yet willing to bend to her. It was a pleasure to be able to ride the animal out in the field and she was sure it made a striking sight when she arrived upon it's back.

Locking the door to the hart's stable, she stored her saddle along with the others before spending a few moments trying to tame her hair. Normally she wouldn't have minded how she looked, many of her companions having seen her at her worst when out in the field. But at the idea of spending some time with Cullen, she had suddenly become aware of how she looked and whether she was presentable enough.

Without a mirror to check, she resigned herself to the fact that she wasn't going to be able to look as nice as she wanted to. Brushing the dirt off of her clothes, she reminded herself over and over that she needed to get a grip of herself. She was simply going to look over some reports with Cullen before going to her quarters to rest. It made her smile to think that the Commander was concerned about her welfare but she suspected it was purely an extension of his worry about their troops.

Taking a deep breath, she swung her pack onto her back before stepping out of the stables and wandering over to where Cullen was stood waiting. His amour was shining slightly in the sunlight, his golden hair ruffled by the light breeze which swept through the keep. She suddenly thought about how much she wanted to run her fingers through his hair to see if it felt as soft as it looked. Digging her nails into her hands, she told herself over and over to behave before coughing lightly.

"Shall we go then?" She asked in a small voice, looking up at the Commander. She noticed as he turned his attention to her that his eyes were the same golden tone as his hair, shining brightly as they studied her before he replied. She was sure that if she stared for too long, she could have easily drowned in them.

"Of course." Cullen's words brought her out of the haze which had flooded her mind, reminding her that she was in the present and they were both still stood outside in the middle of the keep.

Nothing was said between the pair as they walked up the staircase which led to the battlements and Cullen's office. While it had annoyed Evelyn that decisions had been made without her input, she could understand why she had been left out of the talks. It hadn't been long after arriving back from Crestwood that she had headed out once more to investigate some matters in the Western Approach. Her list of things to do seemed to be growing with each passing day and she knew that if it was up to her she wouldn't have taken a break.

She was still struggling to sleep at night and found that keeping busy was the only thing which stopped her mind from wandering onto topics which only served to fuel her nightmares. She had known that there would be casualties the moment she had signed up to help the Inquisition, but what she hadn't realised was just how personally she would take each of those loses.

When they made it up onto the battlements, the Commander took the lead in order to push open the door to his office, stepping aside to allow Evelyn in first. She smiled as she gave a nod of thanks, before strolling in. It seemed that he was a gentleman first and foremost.

As normal, Cullen's desk was overflowing with books, reports and the odd bottle of half finished wine. Minor work had been carried out to clear out the last of the rubble which had littered the room when they had originally arrived on Skyhold. From what she recalled, the Commander had not been overly concerned with his own quarters and had fussed instead with where everyone else would be staying. She found it sweet the man cared so much for their people.

"Leliana's scouts have been busy gathering information for us. We have a growing list of those people we think could be potential allies and those who could be or become our enemies if we are not careful." Cullen had changed from concerned and unsure, to the confident tactical advisor Evelyn was so used to seeing. Discussing the Inquisition was clearly his comfort zone. "I also received these reports today."

The Inquisitor accepted the pieces of paper which were being held out to her, flicking through them slowly before turning her gaze to Cullen.

"Interesting. How do you think we should proceed with this information?" As she was speaking, the Commander had walked around to the other side of his desk, placing the item of furniture between them. While she was sure he had only done it so he could get a better look at the reports he had scatted across the desk top, she couldn't help mourning the lose of him at her side.

"We should send out a party to Emprise Du Lion to secure a camp. I am sure there is more going on there then we know. The progress in the Exalted Plains is promising. I have people ready if you need them. The report about the daggers...I'm at a little bit of a lose with that one..." Cullen said, rubbing at the back of his neck.

They continued to discuss matters relating to the Inquisition for many hours. At some point Evelyn had come round to stand on the same side of the desk as Cullen, brushing against his arm every now and again as they looked over reports and maps to decide what they should do next. Whenever they would touch, silence would fall between them as they stared at the contact. It was silly, but the Inquisitor couldn't help feeling like a young girl again, blushing and stuttering over something as simple as their arms touching.

She had admired the Commander from afar for a while, envied his seemingly natural ability to lead people. Evelyn had been told on many occasions that she too was a born leader, but that didn't stop her from looking towards Cullen as a better example. If she could be half the commander that he was, she was pretty sure she would be able to cope with the Inquisition. There was a couple of other reasons why her eyes would linger on the male and they had very little to do with his skill set.

Cullen was always wearing his armour and it lead to her having to imagine what he might look like underneath. She had faintly gossiped with her companions about the male, questioning those who knew him better then she did. Josephine was able to tell her about the Commander's background, while Cassandra filled her in on how he had come to join the Inquisition. But it was her talks with Leliana which revealed the most information. The Spymaster had got such a name for a reason. Nothing was secret from her, not even what was hidden under amour. Sister Leliana had painted images in the Inquisitor's mind and she couldn't help wanting to confirm for herself if they were accurate or not.

Without realising it, the sun had almost set and the day was nearly over. Looking up from a report, Evelyn noted how the room had become dark very quickly and how her wandering mind had caused her not to notice. It seemed neither of them had realised how long they had spent looking over reports together as Cullen was suddenly looking around with a confused expression on his face.

"Where has the time gone?" She said with a smile, watching the Commander as he lit some candles around the room. A chuckle rose from the man as he took a moment to look back at her before continuing with his task. She liked it when he smiled.

"When I arranged for you to have a day to relax, I had thought you would have done anything you wished, not spent it talking war with me." Cullen might have been trying to act the professional advisor he was meant to be, but Evenly was convinced she caught a note of happiness in his voice.

"And who's to say that I haven't enjoyed spending the day discussing war with you. It makes a change from fighting bandits and closing rifts." Evelyn leaned her hip against the desk as she spoke, eyebrow raised slightly as she looked at Cullen. Spending time with the Commander had not only allowed her to catch up on what was happening both in Skyhold and Thedas, but had also meant she hadn't had to spend her time alone with her thoughts.

Cullen finished lighting the last candle before returning to stand at his desk, arms folded over his chest slightly as he stared at the Inquisitor. A smile was playing at the corner of his mouth, the scar which ran over his lips catching her attention. She wondered where he had received the mark, fingers reaching for it as she was about to ask him about it when they were interpreted. A loud knock sounded at the door, before one of Leliana's scout walked in. The woman bowed her head in respect, before stepping inside and over to the desk.

"Ser. You wished to see me when I returned from the Emerald Graves." The scout said, looking between Cullen and Evelyn. The Commander cleared his throat before turning to face the woman, asking her a string of questions about the area. Unsure about what to do with herself, Inquisitor dropped her hand and ran her eyes around the room before they fell upon a large wooden chair. A wave of disappointment ran through her as she cursed the interruption.

Cullen chair seemed to be currently being used to store some of the vast collection of books he had in his office. Picking the offending pile up, she carefully placed the items on the floor by one of the bookcases before settling herself down in the now empty seat. The Commander looked over at her for a second before returning his attention to the scout he was talking to, a smirk clearly visible on his face.

Giving a loud yawn, the Inquisitor threw her legs over the arm of the chair and leaned back slightly so she was better able to see Cullen. The smile which had been on his lips had disappeared now, a sign that his conversation with the scout was turning serious. When it came to work, the Commander was usually calm and professional. That didn't mean the man didn't have his moments of anger and arguing, his temper having flared up before when discussions around the war table had broken down slightly. But it only confirmed that he was passionate about his work with the Inquisition.

Rubbing at her arms, Evelyn couldn't shake the chill which had suddenly come over her. While she was dressed for the weather of Skyhold, that didn't stop the fact that her skin was feeling icy. Shifting in the chair, she was considering leaving Cullen to his discussion and going in search of warmth when a heavy coat landed on top of her. The Commander's scent filled her nose, causing her to give out a small sigh before she buried her face in the fur lining. The jacket was still warm from where Cullen had been wearing it, the heat chasing away the chill in her arms.

The calm she had felt the night she had fallen to sleep on the floor in Cullen's presence returned to her as she wrapped herself up in the Commander's jacket, the sensation sweeping through her as she studied the back of the man. She wasn't sure what it was about the male that made her feel the way she did, however as her eyes drifted shut she was glad she had decided to stay at Skyhold for the day.


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: This story is rated mature for later chapters.

Note: All characters are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Evelyn stopped for a moment while she waited for her companions to catch up. They had been walking for hours, but she knew that they didn't have far to go until they reached Skyhold. If it hadn't been for the bandit attack which took them by surprise, she was sure they would have been back in the warm comfort of their keep long ago.

She watched as Varric rounded the corner and slowly wandered over to where she was stood. The dwarf had been the luckiest out of the group, only suffering a minor cut to the face which had all but stopped bleeding now. She herself wasn't too badly hurt, a couple of cuts and bruises here and there. She was pretty sure her ankle was sprained but the longer she walked, the duller the pain became in her legs. She didn't know whether that was a good sign or not.

Iron Bull was bringing up the rear, the mage Dorian in his arms. The Tevinter had suffered a broken leg while attempting to keep a warrior at bay. While she knew the man was in a lot of pain, he wasn't allowing it to show on his face. His usual smile was plastered on his lips as he looked over to Evelyn. Iron Bull had taken the brunt of the damage, having charged through the attack to protect his friends. While she wasn't pleased that they had allowed themselves to be taken by surprise, it had warmed her heart to see the men selflessly throwing themselves in front of her. She couldn't have asked for a better group to have at her side.

"How far Boss?" Bull asked, stopping for a moment to shift Dorian's position in his arms. The mage had not been happy with the idea of being carried back to Skyhold by the Qunari, but they had been lacking in options once their horses has failed to return and Dorian hadn't been able to fix his injury with magic. He gave a slight groan of pain as his comrade did his best to move the male without causing him too much discomfort, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he attempted to restrain his pain filled cry.

"Not far. How are you both holding up?" The Inquisitor asked as she walked over, taking hold of Dorian's hand as she neared. Both of the men smiled at her action, neither wanting to appear weak in front of her. They were all as stubborn as each other, all wanting to look strong in the face of injury, all secretly cursing the pains they felt.

"This is but a scratch my dear. Do not worry yourself." While Dorian put on a brave face, the pain he was feeling came through in his voice. They needed to reach Skyhold and the healers soon. Night had fallen now, and while the moonlight was enough to light their path, she suspected that anything could be lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce on their wounded party. Being on edge meant that she would be ready for any attack, but with a wounded party to back her up, she feared they wouldn't be able to get through another fight without serious consequences.

"It will take a lot more than a simple bandit attack to take me down Boss." Iron Bull said, flashing his normal smirk. Before their encounter on the road, the group had been travelling back from recently slaying an Abyssal High Dragon. While it had been a difficult fight, Bull had proved that he was more than capable of standing up against anything, including the towering mass of territorial dragon.

Nodding her head, she released Dorian's hand before returning to lead the group along the road which wound through the mountains towards the keep. An awkward silence fell over them, tiredness beginning to set in. She hadn't been sleeping well while out on the road and she knew her group had struggled as well. The Western Approach had been a difficult mission but they had been well rewarded with the taking of the Griffon Wing Keep. It gave them a strong foothold in the area from which they could direct forces.

After another five minutes or so of walking in silence, Evelyn began to hear whispers coming from behind her. Whenever she looked over her shoulder to work out what was being said, her companions would stop talking, giving her sheepish smiles before turning their eyes away from her. What were the boys plotting?

After hearing her name a couple of times, and the sound of an argument breaking out between the three about who would ask her something, she decided to intervene. "Something on your minds, boys?" There was silence for a moment longer before Varric spoke up.

"We were wondering if the rumours were true Ginger." The dwarf increased his pace so he was able to walk alongside Evelyn as they talked. She did not like the sound of where their conversation was going. Varric was well known for the stories he could and would weave about people based on rumours he had overheard. While not always completely true, they made for interesting reading all the same.

"And what rumours would you be referring to?" She asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked over to the dwarf. She could see that he was smirking slightly, looking dead ahead to avoid her gaze. Evelyn had a suspicion about which rumours he was talking about, having heard some of the things which travelled around Skyhold herself.

"The ones which refer to you doing the dirty with Commander Cullen." Varric's blunt words caused her to choke on her intake of breath, sending her into a coughing fit that hurt her ribs. Stopping for a moment, she sucked in a deep lungful of fresh air before turning her sights on the dwarf. He was smiling to himself, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"And where would such a rumour have stemmed from I wonder." Her tone implied that she believed Varric to be the one to have started such a rumour and if she was honest, she wouldn't have put it past him to spread such gossip.

"Well don't look at me Inquisitor." The dwarf raised his hands in defence before turning his eyes onto their companions. Dorian pulled a face of innocence while Iron Bull merely gave the same smirk he always had. "None of us have anything to do with this particular piece of chatter."

Evelyn had heard talk of such a rumour in Skyhold. People had clearly spotted her leaving the Commander's office and jumped to the conclusion that the pair of them had been getting up to something. Sadly it seemed no one was willing to think of the logical possibility that the two were merely working, but then again that wasn't how rumours worked.

"No Varric. That rumour is not true." The Inquisitor said, forcing her feet forwards to stop herself from thinking about his comment too much. She had not done anything with Cullen apart from fall asleep in his jacket and brush her arm with his. That didn't mean that she hadn't thought of all the things they could get up to. Once the man was on her mind, it was difficult to get rid of him.

She knew that as the leader of the Inquisition she should have been focusing her attention on more important matters. But somehow, in all of the craziness which surrounded fighting Corypheus, she had found herself indulging in some harmless flirting which was now seeming to be less then harmless.

"Evelyn. You are amongst friends. You do not have to be coy with us." Dorian spoke up from his place in Bull's arm, his teasing tone bringing a smile to her face. A blush began to creep onto her cheeks, her imagination taking over and presenting her with pictures of the Commander which she shouldn't have been thinking about at that time.

"I suspect you like watching me squirm under your interrogation." Evelyn said as she turned a corner in the path. The road ahead was clear and she was starting to recognise some of the vegetation around her. They were not far from the keep now.

"I suspect someone else wants to see you squirm." Varric said in a mutter, pretending to have not said a word when Evelyn shot him a look. Dorian made a comment about how he wouldn't mind seeing her squirm while Iron Bull muttered something about doing more then making her squirm. This is what she got for travelling with men all the time.

"And what of the rumours which could appear due to me taking three strapping men out into the field? Surely people will talk about such an arrangement." She knew she was clutching at straws, hoping she would be able to move the conversation away from her and Cullen. She was losing control and needed to regain it at any cost.

"Please Evelyn. No one cares about who you take out into the field for your missions. You could take all the girls and it still wouldn't make it into the breakfast conversation. It's a given that you're going to take a group of us with you whenever you head out." Varric made a good point. People had become so accustomed to seeing her surrounded by her companions that no one batted an eyelid when they went out. "What's more interesting is seeing the strange dance you and the Commander are doing."

"We've all seen the way you two look at each other." Dorian threw into the argument, giving her a wink when she looked back at him. "And heard the flirting." It caused the blush which had worked its way onto her face to intensify. She had to look like a fool, attempting to tease one of the Inquisition's advisors while working.

"Boss, would you just do the old dog a favour and let him bone you already." Bull said suddenly, no shame or reservation to his words. She knew the Qunari were not ones to worry about the social etiquette of humans but it still shocked her to hear Bull talk in such a brusque manner.

"Bull...I..." She was completely lost for words as she stared up at him, stopping in her tracks. How was she meant to reply to that? Did Cullen have feelings for her? Or was Bull just saying things to make her blush? Her mind was spinning in confusion.

Taking a deep breath, she looked between her companions before turning her back on them all and striding on ahead. Now was not the think to be worrying over whether her Commander had the hots for her. Before long Skyhold came into view and a sense of relief washed over her. Not only would her friends be able to rest and recover from their injuries, but she would also be able to get away from their questions.

As they drew up towards the gates, she saw movement on the battlements and knew their return had been noted. She hoped that someone had noticed Iron Bull carrying Dorian, if only to speed along the process of a healer being found. Just before she was able to walk across the wooden drawbridge, a hand grabbed her arm and stopped her.

Varric stood with a smile on his face as he studied her, releasing her arm now that he had her attention. The dwarf had become one of her close friends and while she knew she could trust him, that didn't mean she was up for sharing every piece of information about herself with him. Especially information relating to her feelings and thoughts towards Cullen.

"Just so you know, none of us care what you get up to in private. As long as you continue to be the Inquisitor we all know and respect, you can do whatever you like. Stop worrying so much." His words were spoken in a hushed voice, the teasing tone he normally used having been replaced with seriousness. He gave her a look which implied he knew exactly what was going through her mind. Maybe she did need to stop worrying so much.

* * *

"Commander!" One of Leliana's scouts burst through the doors to Cullen's office and came to a halt in front of his desk. He had been quietly working away on some reports, yet the look of concern on the man's face had him striding around the table and towards him without a second thought. Something was clearly wrong.

"What is it?" He asked, his hand automatically going to his sword. His years of serving as a templar and now as leader of the Inquisition's forces meant that certain reactions came automatically to him. One of those was to go for his weapon when danger was present. While he was sure that Skyhold wasn't under attack, the normal sounds associated with battle not reaching his ears, the worry in the scout's features had him concerned all the same.

"The Inquisitor has arrived. She requests your presence down by the main gate." The scout replied, bowing their head before making a retreat out of the room. It had been days since they had last heard anything from Evelyn and her companions, yet normally her return did not cause worry in Skyhold. Something had to be wrong.

Knowing his reports could wait, he half jogged out of his office and down the stairs towards the gate. A large group had gathered around the arrivals, blocking them from the Commander's view as he drew close. It was the middle of the night and yet so many had assembled. This couldn't have been a good sign. Pushing his way through the crowd, he came to a sudden stop when he caught sight of the Inquisitor and her companions.

Each was sporting some sort of injury, some mild while others looked more serious. Iron Bull, who was covered in dirt and blood, was holding Dorian in his arms as a mage fussed over the Tevinter's leg. The Qunari looked to be a little battered up but nothing which wouldn't heal given time. Varric had a cut on his face which looked as if it had been bleeding at some point but wasn't any longer, while Evelyn had been left with some small cuts and bruises. Dark marks had formed under her eyes and she looked ready to fall to sleep at any moment.

"What happened?" Cullen stepped out of the crowd and towards the Inquisitor as he spoke. He watched as her eyes shot up to his face and some of the tension in her features faded, her relief unmistakable as she took a step in his direction before stopping herself. The area just at the corner of her eyes winkled up slightly, pain flashing across her face for just a second before vanishing once more. If he hadn't been concentrating on her as much as he currently was, he would have missed it. Something was off.

"Bandits. They took us by surprise on our way to Skyhold. I want the roads leading in to the keep checked. I fear they were not the only group lurking on the roads. Can you arrange that Cullen?" She asked, her attention moving away from the Commander before he was able to reply. Leliana and Josephine were making their way towards them, the crowd parting a little to allow the two women through.

"Inquisitor." Josephine almost dropped her notes at the sight of Evelyn, mouth hanging open as she assessed the damage. "Please tell me you're going to let a healer fix you up." The Ambassador was always thinking about appearances. Cullen recalled that they had some invitations to meetings and parties waiting for them, and while he wasn't a fan of playing the game, he knew how crucial presentation was.

"Later Josephine. I need you to contact the houses who have offered us aid. I want to know that help is standing by if we need it." The Inquisitor stopped her advisor from arguing with her request by turning to the Spymaster.

"What do you need?" Sister Leliana bowed her head slightly, ready to carry out whatever actions Evelyn asked of her. If you needed something doing, Leliana was the one to turn to. The woman rarely asked questions and was always ready to do what had to be done to get results. It was slightly frightening yet impressive all at the same time. The Inquisitor closed the gap between them before speaking in a hushed tone that only just reached the ears of the Commander.

"Someone knows." Evelyn pressed what appeared to be a piece of paper into the woman's hand as she spoke. Nothing more was said between the two as Leliana simply nodded her head slightly before turning on her heels and leaving. Clearly this wasn't something as simple as a plain old bandit attack.

A small part of Cullen wanted nothing more than to look after the injured Trevelyan. She might have been putting on a brave face in front of the people who had gathered around her, however a seasoned veteran such as the Commander knew when someone was attempting to hide the pain they felt. If it hadn't of been for her request for men to be sent out, he would have stayed where he was.

Taking one final look at Evelyn, he rallied together some of his men who had come to see what was happening at the main gate before returning to his office with them. Two groups would be dispatched to patrol the roads leading into Skyhold, while extra guards would be assigned at key points around the keep. If someone was organizing groups of bandits to mount attacks on people travelling to and from the Inquisition's stronghold, he would make sure they were stopped.

Cullen spent some time dealing with the reports he had been working on before he had been interrupted. He had hoped that keeping himself busy would stop his mind was wandering, but he was having no such luck. Every time he paused to consider something, he would be reminded of the state Evelyn had been in when arriving back. He wouldn't deny that he had been worrying about her since she had left for the Western Approach. And he knew he wasn't the only one.

Josephine, Leliana and himself had spent many days together in the war room, planning and arguing over what the Inquisition would do next. On one of their long evenings discussing ideas, each had admitted to being concerned about the Inquisitor. They had placed a lot of responsibility on her shoulders and at times each had felt guilty about doing so. They knew she was capable of leading them, had seen her determination in Haven. But that didn't mean they were happy with their actions. It was a lot for the shoulders of a single person.

Shaking his head, the Commander let out a deep sigh as he placed the reports he had been working on down on the desk. It was late, he hadn't been getting much sleep and it was starting to impact on his ability to focus. Wanting some fresh air before he called it a night, he left the mountain of work he still had to do and headed outside. The moon was high in the sky now, illuminating the keep and the few who were still awake.

Cullen smiled as he descended the stairs, enjoying the silence which reached his ears. There was something about indulging in a complete lack of noise which helped to sooth the Commander. Having spent most of his life working in rowdy environments and growing up with a set of noisy siblings, Cullen knew to enjoy every moment of peace he could get. There was never a guarantee that he would be able to find it again.

Rounding a corner, he stopped in his tracks as he looked towards the main gates. While the group of people that had formed when the Inquisitor had arrived were now gone, a single person was still stood in the darkness, attention fixed on the gate. Evelyn didn't react as Cullen drew close, seemingly lost in her own world.

Standing silently at her side, the Commander rested his arm onto the handle of his sword as he waited for the Inquisitor to come out of her thoughts and notice him. Over time he had worked out that Evelyn was very much like himself, she enjoyed peace and quiet nearly as much as he did. On a number of occasions since arriving at Skyhold she had come to his office and simply sat in his presence, sometimes falling to sleep without him realizing.

From what he had overheard from her companions, Evelyn struggled to sleep when out in the field, her cries in the middle of the night having been noted by many. No one had said anything to the woman yet, most likely unsure about her reaction. But the strange thing was, their reports did not match with what he had witnessed first-hand. Whenever the Inquisitor fell to sleep in his office she had seemed relaxed, only stirring when she was cold and quickly settling back again once he had placed his jacket around her.

"Cullen." Evelyn's voice sounded shocked, pulling the Commander from his own trail of thought as he turned to lock eyes with her. In the moonlight he was able to see the smudges of dirt, blood and what appeared to be soot on her face. She no longer seemed to be bleeding, but she hadn't allowed a healer to help her as Josephine has requested. The Ambassador was not going to be happy when she saw her next.

"My lady. Are you alright?" He asked, having to stop himself from reaching for her. They were out in the middle of Skyhold and gossip was enjoyed by many who called the keep their home. He watched as a smile formed at the corner of her mouth.

"Can I tell you a secret Cullen?" The Inquisitor spoke in a whisper, motioning for the male to move closer to her so she was able to share with him without speaking loudly. Coming a step closer, Cullen had to use every ouch of control he had to stop himself from completely closing the distance and pressing Evelyn flush against him. Leaning forward so her head was almost resting on his shoulder, Evelyn whispered. "I can't walk right now and that's why I've not gone inside."

Drawing back for a moment, the Commander looked the Trevelyan up and down. She was clearly putting more weight on one foot then the other, and one of her hands had come up to grip Cullen's arm. How long as she been standing outside like this, too stubborn to ask for help from the healers or guards?

"Evelyn." He growled out her name before putting his arm around her and forcing her to shift most of her weight onto him. Cullen had helped injured men and women before, unwilling to leave anyone behind. He recalled how on the day he had first meet the Inquisitor he had helped carry one of his men away from the Conclave once Evelyn, Cassandra, Varric and Solas had arrived.

In comparison to the soldiers he had supported before, the Inquisitor was barely a wisp against him. While she might have been a fierce fighter who could hold her own, she didn't carry the bulk that many who had seen action did. Bearing as much weight as he could without picking the woman up, Cullen helped her make her way up to the throne room and through it, pushing open the door to her quarters with his foot. They made it into the safety of the stairwell leading up to her room without coming across anyone, the door closing behind them and shielding them from view.

The Commander stopped them for a moment at the foot of the stairs, shifting Evelyn slightly so he was able to get an arm under her before lifting her up into his arms. She gave a small squeak of surprise but didn't struggle against him as he carried her up the stairs. The Trevelyan wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder, the tension in her body melting away. What he wouldn't give to be able to stay with Evelyn in his arms.

Once they reached the top of the stairs, Cullen carried the Inquisitor over to her bed and carefully placed her down onto the covers. She reluctantly released her arms from around his neck, smiling slightly as she shifted her weight to keep her foot elevated.

The fireplace in her room had been lit at some point to keep her warm, but by now it had almost burnt down to embers. After a couple of minutes he had stoked the fire back into a roar, spreading warmth through the room. The light of the flames was enough to illuminate the bedroom, bathing everything in an golden glow. Standing up straight, Cullen moved back over to the bed where Evelyn sat, the woman having not moved the entire time.

Kneeling down in front of her, the Commander gently pushed her chin up so he was able to study her face. In the light he was able to better see the injuries on her face, the little cuts which were dotted about her skin. The dirt and soot made her look worse then she really was, which relieved the concern which had been building within him. Stripping the gloves from his hands and being as careful as he could, Cullen removed the Trevelyan's boot from her good foot, struggling a little with the complex lacing she had done.

"This one might hurt." He said, looking back up at Evelyn for a moment. She was watching him intently, a smile pulling at her lips. Even when she looked at her worse she was beautiful. Her red hair had fallen out of its ponytail and fell in waves around her shoulders. Bright green eyes seemed to shimmer slightly as Cullen found himself becoming lost in them. His mind was playing a very dangerous game with him, telling him he shouldn't worry so much, to go after the things he wanted but denied himself.

"Just do it." Evelyn's words brought him out of the inner argument he was having with himself, reminding him of what he was attempting to do in the present. Giving a sharp nod, Cullen started by slowly unlacing the boot, being as careful as possible not to knock the Inquisitor's foot as he worked. He could hear her attempts at hiding the pain, tiny whimpers leaking out of her mouth. When the lacing was completely removed, he did his best to gently pull the offending item off and put it to one side. Evelyn was taking short breaths as she sat there, foot hovering in mid air.

"It's not broken my lady, but you have badly sprained it." Cullen said after studying her foot for a while, wincing himself at the purple and black bruise which had formed around her ankle. No wonder she had been unwilling to move once she had made it back to Skyhold.

"Thank you Cullen." Her voice was barely a whisper. The Commander drew himself up from the floor and helped the Inquisitor to move into a propped up position on the bed, placing a set of pillows under her bad leg to support her ankle. He couldn't help fussing over her a little longer and therefore proceeded to collect a bowl full of warm water and a cloth.

Settling himself on the edge of the bed, he wiped away the dirt and soot which covered Evelyn's face, enjoying watching the way she closed her eyes and titled her face towards his hand. Without thinking about what he was doing, Cullen was inching closer to the Inquisitor, his mind using the excuse of cleaning her up as the reason why. When her eyes fluttered back open, they were barely inches apart, the Commander having stopped rubbing the dirt from her face a while ago.

In the silence he could hear the steady intake of breath from Evelyn, noted the way it became shallow the longer they sat almost touching. His eyes were fixed on her plump lips, watching as her tongue poked out to lick at them before disappearing once more. He wondered what it would feel like to have those lips pressed against his own, her tongue in his mouth. It was a thought which brought him tantalizing close to the Inquisitor. If it hadn't of been for the small voice in the back of his mind which told him this wasn't the best time, he was confident he would have attempted to claim her mouth in that moment.

Releasing a deep sigh, Cullen drew back from the Inquisitor before lifting himself off of the bed. "I'm sorry...I..." He was lost for words at that moment, hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he tried to think of something to say.

"Do not worry Cullen. Thank you for your help today." He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but Evelyn's words had not been it. Looking over at her, he saw the way she looked at him with warmth in her eyes and his will nearly buckled. She gave him a half smile before running her hands up and down her arms. He couldn't have her going cold in her bed.

"Here." Without thinking he was taking off his overcoat, carefully laying it over Evelyn. He made sure that the soft plumage was wrapped around her shoulders and under her chin, shielding her from the cold. In her current situation she wasn't able to protest his actions, and she didn't seem to want to if her reaction was anything to go by. Nuzzling her face into the fur lining, she gave a content sigh, shoulder dropping slightly as she took in a deep breath. She seemed to like his jacket and the sight of her in it stirred feelings in Cullen which were currently not appropriate.

"Sleep well." He gave a low bow as he spoke, picking up the bowl of water and his gloves as he left. He thought he heard Evelyn say something in return, but didn't stop to ask what it was. If he didn't keep walking, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave her room that night and that was not the sort of gossip the Inquisitor needed at the moment. He needed to go and get a grip of himself, in more ways than one.


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: This story is rated mature for later chapters.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 _Haven was on fire. She could tell it was by the screams of terror and the smell of burning wood which reached her. Turning her eyes away from the trebuchet which had just exploded in her face, she looked back towards the settlement she had started to call home and could see the smoke rising up from within its walls. The enemy had broken through and was attacking the town with renewed force._

 _Pulling herself up from the ground, she surveyed the ruin around her. Some creature which resembled a dragon was circling overhead, it's fiery breath having taken out their trebuchet in a single blow. Her companions, Cassandra, Dorian and Varric were all slowly picking themselves up from the places they had been blown to. Everyone looked to be in one piece, but the knowledge did little to calm the concern which was building within her._

" _We need to get back to the gate." She yelled, helping one of their troops out from under a large wooden beam before starting towards Haven. Evelyn could hear the pounding of feet at her back and knew the others had followed after her. Their path was littered with dead bodies, some looking familiar while others were unknown, their troops having done everything they could to stand against the red templars._

 _The attack had come out of the blue and it had hit them hard. She didn't know how much longer they would survive or whether they would come out of the other side at all. It felt like the weight of the world was currently pressing down on her shoulders as she attempted to formulate some sort of plan to save as many of them as possible._

 _Rounding a corner, she spotted the open gate leading into Haven, Commander Cullen doing what he could to get their troops inside. They made eye contact for a moment before his attention was grabbed by some of his men running towards the gate. The cry of the circling beast caused her to increase her speed as she raced towards the settlement, fear nipping at her heels as she went. She had already seen the destruction the thing could do and did not want to be caught up in it due to her laziness._

" _Move it. Move it!" Cullen yelled as Evelyn and her group bolted past him, the sound of the gate being closed reached her ears once they were back inside Haven. Taking a second to catch her breath, she turned her eyes onto the Commander as he walked towards her, a stern look on his face. While he had been working hard to prepare their troops for what was to come, it seemed they had not been prepared for this._

" _We need everyone back to the Chantry. It's the only building that might hold against...that beast." The Commander snapped out his words, looking back at them all for a moment. Leadership seemed to come naturally to the man as he barked out orders and directions, trying to get as many people into the only shelter they really had. "At this point, just make them work for it."_

 _His words cut deep, reminding Evelyn that the possibility of them making it out alive was slim. All around her was blood and death, people who had been cut down trying to stop the attacking forces from getting to the innocent. As Cullen jogged away, she found herself surveying the area around them. Houses were on fire, people were running for their lives, Haven was falling and she felt helpless to do anything._

" _The villagers will need help if they are to survive this." Dorian said in a low voice, coming to stand at Evelyn's side as he regarded the mess around him. The male was a little bit bruised but still standing strong, just like Cassandra and Varric. The mage was right. The remaining villagers would need their help if they were going to pull through. Pushing down the fear which was beginning to build inside of her, she stood tall before starting towards the Chantry._

 _As they moved through Haven they came across a group of red templars climbing through a break in the wall, heading straight for a group of defenceless people who were attempting to escape. Drawing her weapon, Evelyn gave a cry before charging towards the enemy, her companions at her back as she moved._

 _For a few moments everything became a blur of flashing blades and spells, people dropping to the ground when attacks hit home. Trapped in the middle of their fighting, one of the villagers was fatally wounded by a templar, their cry of pain filling Evelyn's mind. She found herself unable to aid the individual, instead watching in horror as one of their enemies ended the person's life with a blade to the chest._

" _Evelyn." Cassandra yelled, coming out of no where to strike at the templar she had just been staring at. The man slumped to the ground, no longer moving. "We must press on!"_

 _Slowly she nodded her head in agreement, the Seeker having to drag her away. She had seen people die in battle before, had witnessed it when attempting to reposition the trebuchet moments before returning to Haven. But something about the look of horror on the villager's face as they were cut down unsettled her. Corypheus' men did not care who died in their battle, so long as they did._

 _Coming to the top of some stairs, Evelyn noticed a house which was on fire, someone screaming from within. The noise was enough to make the blood run from her face as she realised the flames were consuming the person inside. She could only image the pain they must have been feeling, the fire licking at their skin, burning them away with each passing moment. She wouldn't have wished such a death on her worst enemy and currently she had a number of those running around Haven._

 _Finding the courage to move her feet was difficult, her mind creating pictures which chilled her to the core, images which she was sure would not leave her for many nights to come. It seemed like a lifetime had passed before she was able to break free from the terror holding her mind, forcing her to race towards the building as reality kicked hard. Grabbing at the fallen debris which blocked the door, Evelyn could feel the heat against her hands, knew the flames were hungry to lick against her own skin._

" _We have to help them." She yelled, panic working her fingers as she threw charred wood and broken crates aside. The screaming had stopped now, the fire having grown in the few moments which had passed. She didn't want to believe that the person had perished inside, thought that if she could just get the door clear she would be able to help them and the horrible picture her mind had painted would disappear._

" _Herald stop!" Someone shouted. She didn't know who it was but their words passed over her as she dragged a flaming barrel to one side. She could feel the panic rising, knew her hands were trembling and tears were rolling down her face, but she couldn't stop. She had to be able to do something. She was meant to be the Herald of Andraste, she was meant to help people._

 _Her vision started to dim, darkness creeping in as she stood hammering at the door. The heat was overwhelming and Evelyn found it difficult to breath. She wasn't sure why but she was sinking down to the ground, her legs unwilling to move as she cried. It was not meant to end like this. Not like this._

* * *

Evelyn woke with a loud cry. Her heart was racing in her chest and her breathing came sharp and shallow. For a while all she could do was lay staring at her ceiling, taking lungfuls of air as she tried to calm herself. It took some time for her to resurface from her nightmare, her mind clearing of the dark fog which had overcome it. It seemed her mind would still not let go of what had happened at Haven, no matter what she did to create new memories. The attack by the bandits had stirred up something within her, something which was determined to remind her of the guilt she felt.

After some time the tears dried up, her sobs stopped and she was able to look about herself. The sun was beginning to rise, rays of light breaking through her windows, bathing the room in a warm glow. She could see that the fire had long since burnt out but she didn't feel the cold. Cullen's overcoat was still wrapped around her, protecting her from the chill.

She buried her face into the fur lining of the jacket for a moment, inhaling the smell of spices and the outdoors. A part of her wished that Cullen had not left her last night, missing his calming presence. On the other hand she was glad no one was around to see her in her current state, tear stained and injured. She was meant to be the strong determined Inquisitor, not a weeping mess.

With a sigh she removed herself from the jacket and swung both legs over the side of the bed. Looking down at her feet she noticed that her sprained ankle was looking a little better then how it had the night before. Tentatively she placed her feet down onto the floor and stood, putting the bulk of her weight on her good foot. It was slow going, but she was able to make her way over to the bathroom without too much pain. She knew she needed to see a healer to get her ankle fixed up, but she wanted a bath and some time alone before she did.

Through gritted teeth she was able to run and climb into her bath, the cold water causing goose bumps to break out over her skin. She knew that if she had just called for help someone would have brought up some hot water to heat her bath, but she wasn't in the mood to be fussed over. As she scrubbed away the dirt from her skin, she noted the bruises which were forming on her body. Fighting a dragon hadn't been easy and she expected she would be showcasing the results of such a battle for many weeks to come. At least Iron Bull would be pleased.

She recalled some reports she had been given about other dragons being spotted around Thedas and wondered whether she could convince some of her companions to join her in going to investigate. Iron Bull would most likely jump at the chance while Dorian and Varric had both been keen in helping her the first time. She thought that Sera might be interested, the crazy elf seeming like someone who would get a kick out of taking down a dragon, but she wasn't sure about the others in her party. Maybe she needed to ask them what they thought.

Dragon hunting was not big on the list of things to do for the Inquisitor, but then again she couldn't see the harm in helping people if they were being plagued by a gigantic beast. She knew her advisors would feel differently about her going out to take on dragons, the Ambassador in particular being unhappy about her last outing when she had heard the plans. She knew Josephine, Leliana and Cullen were only looking out for her, their concern for her safety stemming from their positions within the Inquisition, however it wasn't enough to stop her. Once she had made up her mind about something it was difficult to make her change it, a trait which had ruffled a lot of feathers already.

Shivering slightly, the Inquisitor quickly washed her hair before climbing out of the bath, balancing on the edge in order to avoid standing on her bad foot. With water dripped from her body, she hobbled across the room, half wrapping a towel around herself as she went in search of clothes. Vivienne had attempted to get her to wear some more 'presentable' clothes, filling her room with beautiful dresses and accessories, the ideal look for someone attending the Imperial Court of Orlais. It was a kind enough gesture but one which had fallen on deaf ears. She wouldn't be seen dead in such finery.

Finding a fresh shirt and breeches, Evelyn spent a few minutes wrestling herself into the clothes, crying in pain when she bashed her foot against the bed. Cursing to herself, she stared at her boots for a moment before deciding against putting them on. She was in enough pain already without inflicting any more on herself.

Towel drying her hair, she regarded herself in one of the mirrors in her room. Her face was covered in little cuts here and there, a large bruise forming on her cheek from where she had been hit by one of the bandits. She had taken quite a knock in the surprise attack, having been caught off guard and unprepared. The feeling of embarrassment she had felt after the assault returned to her then, eating away at her as she thought about what she could have done to stopped her friends from getting hurt. The Inquisitor knew the mages had fixed up her companions without a problem, but that didn't stop the feeling of guilt which bubbled away inside.

Throwing the wet towel over the back of a chair, she stumbled over to her bed to grab Cullen's jacket before padding out of her room. Evelyn knew it was too early for most people and she was glad of that fact. After struggling down her stairs for five minutes, she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. The throne room was empty of residents and visiting guests, the fires having burned low due to no one watching them. She hoped the lack of masses inside meant that more people had been stationed outside, keeping watch over Skyhold like she wanted.

Cutting through Josephine's empty office, the Inquisitor made her way to the war chamber, slipping silently into the room and closing the door behind her. She had been expecting to find herself alone at the early hour, thinking everyone would be asleep. Yet as she turned from the door to look towards the large wooden table which dominated the room her eyes landed on someone's back.

Armour shone in the morning sunlight which poured in through the windows, golden hair seemed to glow as Commander Cullen straightened himself up from the table and turned to look at her. He had dark marks under his eyes, a sign that just like her he had struggled to sleep, while his usually styled hair was a mess. Had he got any sleep?

"Evelyn." He spoke in a whisper, his hand coming to rub at the back of his neck. As he brought his attention back onto her she noted the way his eyes looked her up and down, stopping for a moment to stare at her feet. She had been standing on one leg, the other bent at the knee to keep the weight off her ankle, but stopped when she realised he was staring. She didn't want to look weak in front of one of her advisors, even if said advisor already knew about her injury. She needed to stay the calm, professional person she was meant to be.

"I didn't realise you were awake already." Evelyn said as she closed the gap between them and came to stand at his side, looking down at the map of Thedas which was spread out on the table before them. She could feel the Commander fidgeting at her side before he too turned to look at the outline of the land. A number of markers had been placed across the map, pinpointing where troops were currently stationed, locations where scouts were working and potential points of interest which needed investigating. It was a busy organised mess which Evelyn struggled to get her head around sometimes.

"I was hoping to get some work done before everyone else got up." Cullen replied, fingers playing with the corner of a report. Evelyn could tell he wanted to say something else but had stopped himself, confusing her slightly. Had she done something wrong? She did her best to recall the events of the night before, a slight blush working its way onto her cheeks when she remembered how close the Commander had been at one point. She had been silently begging him to close the gap between them, too afraid to voice the opinion in case he didn't feel the same.

"It seems great minds think alike." The Inquisitor forced out a small laugh as she spoke, turning her attention up at the Commander to gauge his reaction. She found herself looking straight into his eyes, caught up in the golden orbs which stared at her. The smell of spice and the outdoors filled her nose, making her eyelids flutter shut for a second. It must have looked like she was about to pass out or something, because before she knew it Cullen had grabbed her by the waist and lifted her onto the table.

A squeak of surprise left her lips and her eyes shot open as she was settled onto the wooden surface. Not having to stand any more meant her ankle was no longer throbbing in pain, the injury not enjoying having weight put on it. Evelyn stared at her Commander who was mere inches from her face, concern having flooded his features as he looked at her.

"You could have asked for help." Cullen said in a whisper, brushing a strand of her wild hair from her face. She could feel the blush which had settled on her cheeks reddening slightly, chasing away the chill which had formed on her skin.

"You've already done enough for me Cullen. I will not be a burden to anyone. I am the Inquisitor, I have a certain example to set." Evelyn realised she was holding her chin high as she spoke, watching as a smirk broke out on the Commander's face as he stood up straight. He was even more beautiful when he smiled, a thought which caught her off guard slightly as it ran through her mind.

"Sometimes your determination to do things makes you the most stubborn woman I've ever met." Resting his arm onto his sword, Cullen's lips pulled into a wide grin as he regarded her.

"What Evelyn wants, Evelyn gets." Her tone was mocking and she knew it, relishing the flow of conversation which was forming between them. This was one of the reasons why she enjoyed being around the male. While he could get nervous in awkward situations, he could also be a real tease.

"I bet she does." The Commander's voice was husky and he was looking at her with a smouldering look in his eyes. It sent a shiver down her spine and a blush creeping further across her skin. He took a step towards her, closing the gap between them and brushing against her knees. His close proximity sent her mind into a spiralling mess, professionalism going out of the window as she found herself fixated by him.

"Oh I do." The Inquisitor retorted, biting her bottom lip. Cullen's eyes were fixed on her mouth, following her tongue when she ran it over her lips. She was playing with fire and knew she would get burnt if she wasn't careful. A gloved hand cupped one of her cheeks, fingertips feathering over her skin as she was gently drawn closer to the Commander. All she needed to do was shift forwards ever so slightly and their lips would have been touching. A moment she had been thinking about for so long would finally happen if only she moved. She could hear a tiny voice telling her to be careful, but it was soon stamped down by an unsuspecting tidal wave of want and longing. She had been waiting for this moment for too long.

She leaned in just close enough to graze Cullen's lips when the sound of heels against the stone floor outside the room reached her ear. Leaning back and around the Commander, she stared at the large wooden door for a moment before realising the sound of footsteps was getting louder. Was it too much to ask for a little peace in Skyhold?

Groaning in displeasure, Evelyn shot Cullen a pained look before shifting off of the table. The Commander took a couple of steps away from her, muttering something about needing help from the Maker. She had to agree with the male in that regard. "Maker give me strength."

The door swung open and a tired looking Josephine wandered slowly in, staring down at the stack of paperwork she always carried around. The Trevelyan watched as the woman used her foot to push at the door, only looking up once it was closed. It seemed she hadn't been expecting to find anyone in the war room so early, because a look of shock and surprise filled her features as she looked up to find Evelyn and Cullen stood staring back at her.

"Inquisitor. Commander."Josephine bowed her head to them both, a note of confusion in her voice as she gawked at them before going to stand in her usual position on the other side of the table. Cullen coughed loudly before straightening himself up and moving to his spot by the Ambassador's side.

Evelyn sighed loudly before replying. "Good morning Ambassador." She was back to standing mostly on one leg, her ankle protesting at the first sign of any weight. Biting the inside of her mouth, she forced a smile onto her face when Josephine looked her way, not wanting to receive a lecture from the woman so early in the morning. She knew she needed to see a healer, but she didn't want to admit that in front of her advisors.

"It seems no one was able to get a good night sleep. Leliana is already pacing the keep, waiting for her scouts to return." Josephine reported, flicking through some of her notes before scratching something out. It surprised Evelyn to hear that so many were struggling to sleep lately. She knew her reasons, but why was everyone else's slumber disturbed?

"I've received no news from the groups I sent out to patrol the roads leading into Skyhold. They should be returning soon to rotate men." Cullen added, picking up one of the books which was sitting on the table by the map of Thedas and beginning to flick through it. He wouldn't make eye contact with Evelyn now, which unnerved her slightly.

"Let's hope no news is good news." The Inquisitor looked between her two advisors, before turning her eyes down onto the floor. At some point she had dropped Cullen's jacket, having forgotten that she had been planning to return it to him. She wasn't sure if Josephine had noticed that the male wasn't wearing his coat or maybe she had and just wasn't saying anything. Bending down, she hissed loudly as pain shot up her leg, trapping her in place for a few seconds as she forced herself to take a number of deep breaths.

"Inquisitor?" Josephine's voice drifted over to her, concern lacing her tone. Placing a hand against the table, she steady herself before standing back up, holding the jacket in her other hand. She could see that both her advisors had moved slightly from the spots she had left them in, Cullen now standing closer while the Ambassador was leaning over the table to try and see her.

"I'm fine. This is yours Commander." Holding out the jacket, Evelyn watched as Cullen slowly accepted the item before throwing it on. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he looked at her, before his hand came to rub at the back of his neck and he whispered a thank you. Nodding her head, she looked over to Josephine before excusing herself. She needed to get someone to look at her ankle.

Slipping out of the war room, she pressed her back against the door once it was closed, sighing loudly. She needed to refocus her mind on what she was meant to be doing and not fantasize over what it would be like to get the Commander into bed. Why was the world conspiring against her like this? Pushing away from the door, she hobbled down the hallway in search of Solas, hoping the elf would be able to patch up her ankle without too many questions. Dorian needed checking on, as well as Iron Bull and Varric. The men acted tough but they were probably suffering just like she was. Why were things never easy?


	5. Chapter 5

Warning: This story is rated mature for later chapters.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

A knock sounded at the door to his office. Looking up from the desk, Cullen yelled for the person to enter before his attention flicked back down on to a map he was studying. Normally no one knocked before coming in. While his door may have been shut, the Commander operated an open door policy. If people needed to come and see him, then his door would always be open for them. Being the leader of a large group of troops meant you needed to be available at all times. There was always something which needed doing.

The sound of the door opening and closing reached his ears, footsteps growing louder as the person drew close to his desk. Writing some final notes down, he checked a few points on the report he was drafting before turning his head up to see who had come to visit him.

Evelyn stood on the other side of his desk with a slight smile on her face. She was looking better since the bandit attack, the bruises and cuts on her face having been healed. He had heard that Solas had done a good job of fixing her up, the damage to her body having been minimal in comparison to say Dorian. They had all had a lucky escape. He noted that she was no longer holding her weight on one side of her body, indicating that her ankle was a lot better now. The Commander needed to thank the elf when he saw him next.

"My lady." The Commander nodded his head towards the Inquisitor, placing the report he was holding on to the growing pile he had on one side of his desk. Her green eyes seemed to dance slightly as she looked between him and the desk, her mouth opening and closing as few times as she seemed to consider what she was going to say. It took all his might not to smile as he watched her, finding her action adorable.

"Was there something you needed?" Cullen asked as he straightened himself up, coughing slightly to hide the laugh which had threatened to invade his tone. He had not spoken to the Inquisitor since they had been interrupted by Josephine a few days ago. He had been struggling to come up with some way to justify his actions. He knew he had been crossing an unspoken line by getting so close to Evelyn, had changed their relationship by trying to push for something else. The problem was his heart kept telling him to continue to press for something different, something more. It was a battle his rational mind was losing and fast.

"I thought we could talk. Alone?" The Inquisitor didn't sound completely sure about her words, staring down at her shifting feet while she was speaking. It was very rare to see the woman acting unsure and uncomfortable, the Commander being the one known in Skyhold for fidgeting when put in situations he didn't like. Something really had to be playing on her mind to cause such a reaction.

Cullen stood in silence for a moment as he slowly processed Evelyn's words. He had been expecting her to start a discussion about something to do with the Inquisition, and yet she was asking to speak to him privately. His mind came up with a bucketful of reasons why the woman would want to be alone with him, many of which revolved around their relationship, and all of which set him on edge. "Alone? I mean, of course."

She was already striding out of the room before he was able say anything else, the Inquisitor heading towards the battlements which ran around the keep. He hadn't been able to get a look at her face to gauze her reaction to him agreeing to talk. At times he had found that her emotions would occasionally bleed into her features and tell him all he needed to know without anything being said, a helpful trick when working with someone as stubborn as the Trevelyan. Taking a deep breath, the Commander tried not to get his hopes up as for Evelyn's reason for wishing to talk with him. The problem was, with the way his mind worked, it was easier said than done.

The cool breeze which ran through Skyhold ruffled Cullen's hair and cleared a little of the haze which had started to cloud his mind. It was nice to take a moment out in the sunlight instead of being locked away inside his office. Walking at the Inquisitor's side, he noted the way the woman was staring off into the distance, seemingly lost in her own world as they walked. The silence was starting to become overbearing, causing the Commander to speak without truly thinking about what he was saying.

"It's a nice day..." Cullen trailed off, giving a nervous laugh as he looked around the battlements. He didn't know why he was suddenly feeling very apprehensive, having spent time alone with Evelyn before without being reduced to an uneasy mess. Maybe it was partly due to the way his mind was over-thinking her request to speak privately, away from everyone else in Skyhold. He hadn't been able to get her off his mind for weeks and now here he was with what could be a potential chance at something and he was clamming up. What was wrong with him?

"What?" Evelyn replied, her tone confused as she suddenly looked around at the Commander. Her hair was flying free from its usual ponytail, the red locks blowing in the wind which was picking up. Her cheeks were flushed red, most likely a sign of the cold air chilling her. Regardless of the small injuries which still littered her, she was as beautiful as ever. He had spent many occasions caught up in her good looks, unable to look away from the delicate features and dazzling eyes. She was a sight to behold and its captivating quality had got him in trouble on a number of occasions. Staring at the Inquisitor in a war council meeting was guaranteed to get him some comments from the other advisors.

"Its...There was something you wished to discuss?" He was stumbling over his words again, most likely making a fool of himself in the process. This was not the time to start acting like the nervous young boy he had been so many years ago. Evelyn turned on the spot to stare at him, one of her eyebrow raised slightly as she studied him.

"Certainly not the weather." She teased, her confused expression being replaced with a cheeky smirk which pulled at the corner of her mouth. Cullen couldn't help the way his eyes were drawn to her lips, the action having become second nature by now. He was reading into her words and hoping he was correct, not wanting to look like an idiot in front of the woman he was developing feelings for.

Giving a sigh, he looked at Evelyn for a moment longer before turning his eyes out onto the mountains around Skyhold, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. "I assumed that much. I can't say I haven't wondered what I would say to you in this sort of situation."

"What's stopping you?" The Inquisitor moved until she was stood in front of the Commander, leaning back against the stone wall in what he assumed was meant to be a casual manner. Her attention were fixed on him, what he thought was a look of longing and a touch of sadness filling her eyes as she studied him. The part of him which was level-headed and reasonable was no longer functioning, the wishes of his heart growing with each beat. He had to tell her how he felt.

"You're the Inquisitor. We're at war. You...I didn't think it was possible." This was the first time that Cullen had admitted out loud that he had speculated about the idea of something taking place between himself and Evelyn. Currently it was just speculation. He had no idea if the Inquisitor held any sort of feelings for him or even considered getting involved with anyone in their current situation. War was never romantic.

Without thinking he had taken a step towards her, backing Evelyn up against the wall of the battlement so she was trapped. This close he could hear the sound of her breathing, the way it caught as the Inquisitor tilted her head up slightly so she could look up at him. The rest of the world melted way as he took her in, his fingers itching to caress her cheek and feel the silkiness of her skin.

"And yet I'm still here." Evelyn replied, the smile he had come to love pulling at her lips, her eyebrow cocking slightly. His heart fluttered slightly at her words, hope blooming at the prospect of something more forming between them. His desire to kiss her exploded into a roaring fire within him, no amount of rational thinking being enough to dampen the flames.

"So you are." He could feel his own smile developing as he spoke, his eyes fixed on the Inquisitor's lips as he closed the gap between them. "It seems too much to ask, but I want to." The smell of wild flowers surrounded him, drawing him in as he realised the sweet aroma was coming from Evelyn. He had never noticed how wonderful the woman smelled before.

Evelyn didn't try to push Cullen away as he drew close, her eyes flickering down to stare at his mouth, her tongue poking out for a second to swipe over her own lips. He was mesmerized by the simple action, wondering what it would feel like to have said tongue running over other places. Unconsciously his hands came to rest on her delicate waist, keeping her pinned in place as he titled his head down. They were mere whispers away from each other, tantalizing close and completely engrossed in their situation. It was because of this that he didn't register the sound of a door opening and banging shut before it was too late.

"Commander!" The sound of his title being yelled and footsteps reaching them was enough to interrupt the moment and remind Cullen that they were out in the open. He knew that it was just one of the scouts coming to report, but the knowledge did little to calm the anger which was suddenly bubbling inside. He had been so close.

His eyes locked with Evelyn's for a moment, catching the embarrassment which washed over her features before it was replaced with a blank expression. She gave a small sigh as she dropped her head down, shuffling slightly between his arms. There would be no stopping the stories which would be told once this was over. Looking over the Inquisitor's shoulder, Cullen took a second to take a deep breath, trying to rein in his emotions.

"You wanted a copy of sister Leliana's report." The voice came again, the person it belonged to having come to a stop by them. Maybe the person hadn't noticed the compromising position the pair had been in moments before. Maybe they wouldn't notice the awkwardness which was forming between them. The Commander knew he would not be as lucky as he hoped.

Unable to stop himself, he rounded on the man who had dared to disturb them, grinding his teeth in an effort not to lose all control. "What?!" The word was snapped out, frustration lacing his tone as he eyed the scout. It was rare for him to be angry at one of the Inquisition's men, composure being something he was normally good at in difficult situations. Sadly it seemed around Evelyn he lost all sense of calmness and was a slave to his inner emotions.

"Sister Leliana's report? You wanted it delivered without delay." The man spoke with a slight quiver in his voice, struggling to maintain eye contact with the Commander as he drew close. Cullen wasn't really thinking about what he was doing. He had closed the gap between himself and the scout, his features pulled into hard lines as he stared at the man. He watched as the scout nervously looked between him and the Inquisitor, realisation slowly dawning on him.

Slowly backing up, the scout held his hands up in defence as he spoke. "Or to your office... Right..." The Commander found himself staring after the man as he made his exit, taking deep breaths in a bid to calm himself. He knew he would need to apologize for his actions later, but at that moment in time he didn't care. He wasn't about to let the opportunity he had slip through his fingers.

"If you need to-" Cullen cut off Evelyn's words as in one fluid movement he turned, strode towards her and claimed her mouth with his own. She gave a muffled cry which was quickly lost as their lips met, the Commander's gloved hands cupping her face as he kissed her. For a moment she was frozen in place, unresponsive until she all but melted against him. Her hands gripped his arms as she returned his kiss, lips soft against his own as the world seemed to slipped away. Nothing he had fantasised about could compare to the reality of kissing Evelyn, her delicate lips parting to let his tongue sweep inside for a moment.

Pulling back to take a lungful of air, Cullen could feel the heat which had flushed his cheeks. Evelyn looked at him with half-closed eyes, her lips redden from his assault on her. "I'm sorry. That was...um...really nice." He could feel himself becoming embarrassed as he considered what he had just done. A tiny part of his mind, the bit which was cynical and liked to assume the worse, kept saying he had been out of line and the Inquisitor was about to tell him so.

The anger he had felt moments before had died, being replaced with overwhelming desire. It had been a long time since he had wanted anything as much as he did Evelyn. She was the Inquisitor, and was so stubborn that at times he felt like he was banging his head against a brick wall. But she was also fiercely determined and would go out of her way to help anyone who asked. She could wear the finest clothes or be caked in mud and she would still look beautiful. Cullen didn't think he really had a say in whether he wanted to fall for her or not. Her pull was just too great for him to ignore.

"That was what I wanted." Her voice was husky as she spoke, her attention flicking between his lips and his eyes. Cullen was slightly taken aback by her words, staring at her with his mouth hanging open. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting her to say, but that wasn't it.

"Oh. Good." The Commander felt his mouth pull into a wide grin as he spoke, his hands gently pulling Evelyn closer to him. She didn't resist his action, instead pressing herself up against the hard line of his body. Their lips met again, this kiss softer then the last. The world slipped away once more as Cullen allowed himself to be swept away by the beautiful woman in his arms, the worries which had built up in his mind vanishing as he indulged in actions he had denied himself for years. He would deal with the teasing he knew would come his way later.

* * *

Parting was difficult, but in the end a necessity. Cullen needed to return to his work before Sister Leliana sent out a scout to find him, something they wouldn't put past the Spymaster. Evelyn caught the sad look in his eyes as he looked back at her for a second before disappearing out of sight, sharing the feeling.

For the first time in what felt like forever she had allowed herself to let go of all the responsibilities and requirements which came with being the Inquisitor. She had struggled to think of anything other than the Commander for days and after arguing with herself for hours, she had followed her heart and let her feet naturally find their way to Cullen. It had been one of the best decisions she had made in a long time.

The plan had been to tell the Commander how she felt, maybe clear the air between them after the awkward interruption by Josephine. What she hadn't been expecting was for Cullen to do the exact thing she had been planning on doing. Her carefully throughout speech had vanished at his words. She had become fascinated with the scar on his lips and had almost snapped when they were interrupted once more. If it hadn't of been for his sudden kiss, she suspected they would have continued the frustrating dance they had been participating in for weeks.

There was no denying that she had developed feelings for her advisor. He had been there for her in difficult times, providing advice and support, even if he didn't realise it. Unlike her other advisors and companions, Cullen seemed to be able to calm her when thoughts of the past threatened to consume her. He had become a rock she wanted to cling to in the stormy sea which seemed to be her life currently. There was also the small fact that she thought the man was breathtakingly beautiful. He was the perfect mix of good looks and rugged edges which sent a tingle down her spine every time she looked at him.

Giving a content smile, Evelyn took a moment to enjoy the view of the surrounding mountains from the battlements of Skyhold. It was not very often that she got the time to appreciate the place they had come to call home. She was indebted to Solas for finding them this place. The elf had given them a sanctuary when many had lost hope. The Inquisitor didn't think that anything she did would repay the man for his service to the Inquisition.

Taking one final look at the snow covered peaks, she turned on her feet and began a leisurely stroll through the keep. She knew there was things she needed to be attending to, but currently her mind was focused on other things. Cullen's lips had been softer then she had been expecting, his grip firm as if he'd been afraid of losing her. She found herself lightly tracing her fingertips over her own lips, recalling the caress of the Commander's mouth against hers. Her wandering mind meant that she didn't realise she had walked into Skyhold's tavern until a strong hand landed on her shoulder.

"You alright Boss?" Iron Bull's voice cut through her mind, bringing her out of the daydream she'd been caught in. Looking up at the Qunari mercenary, she found herself smiling as she studied his face. Bull had lost his eye defending his lieutenant Krem, standing between the man and a Tevinter's flail before offering him a job with the Chargers. It was a story which she had learnt from the lieutenant and not Bull. She wasn't sure why he wouldn't want to tell her himself, but she had never pushed on the subject. Bull was a good man and she respected him too much to worry over something which was most likely seen as trivial.

"I'm good. You're looking better. How's Varric and Dorian?" Evelyn asked, following Bull over to his corner of the tavern and taking a seat at his side. The moment the place had been built, the Qunari had claimed a spot along with his Chargers. She suspected the male liked the tavern as it gave him easier access to drink and women, although she wasn't about to question his ways. When it came down to it Bull had a good heart and was someone she would happily take with her on any occasion, regardless of what he liked to get up to in his spare time.

"The dwarf is fine. And the mages have fixed up Dorian. The man was being such a pain I had to hold him down at one point." Iron Bull laughed as he spoke, picking up a mug which was resting at his side and taking a long sip.

"I'm sure you both enjoyed that." The Inquisitor remarked, a teasing note to her tone as she cocked an eyebrow at the male. She had noted the remarks between the Qunari and the mage when they had been out on the road, and heard the rumours which swirled around Skyhold. The pair were terrible flirts but she was pretty sure something was going on between them.

Iron Bull gave a roar of a laugh, slapping his hand against his leg as he looked at Evelyn. "I'm pretty sure you would have as well." His comment caused Evelyn to start laughing, her lips pulling into a wide smile as her mind flicked back to Cullen. Would the Commander be a soft and careful lover, or would he be a little bit rough like she suspected Iron Bull was? It was a thought which caused colour to flood her checks.

"Have you let our Commander have his wicked way with you yet or what?" The Qunari asked, wriggling his eyebrows at her. It seemed everyone considered their relationship to be more advanced then it really was. She had only just kissed the man, let alone been able to drag him into her bed for a couple of rounds. Maybe the Qunari were not ones to waste time with courtships and concerns.

"No I haven't Bull. But I'm sure that if I had, everyone would already know." The way rumours worked in Skyhold, the news of the Commander having his 'wicked way' with the Inquisitor would have been round the keep before either of them had the chance to get dressed.

"If you had, there'd be no getting the smile off the Commander's face." He retorted, downing the last of his drink before dropping the mug onto a barrel he was using as a table. "But seriously Boss, when are you going to indulge a little?" Bull's tone had taken a serious turn as he looked down at the Inquisitor. She found herself struggling to maintain eye contact with the Qunari, instead turning her attention down onto her feet. She wouldn't deny that at times she had wished she was able to indulge in the simple pleasures of life. But it seemed leading the ever expanding Inquisition meant that indulgence wasn't something you got to do very often.

Getting up, the Trevelyan crossed the mostly empty tavern to order two drinks before bringing them back to the corner Iron Bull and herself were taking up. Setting one of the drinks down by the Qunari, she dropped herself back in her chair before raising her mug up in the air.

"To indulging." Evelyn yelled before taking a big swig of her drink and banging the mug down on the barrel afterwards. Iron Bull bust into a great roar of laughter, rocking in his chair slightly due to the force, before grabbing up his own mug and copying the Inquisitor action with a wide smile on his face.

"Now that's more like it!" The Qunari chimed in, relaxing back in his chair with a content sigh. "You need to do this more often Boss, spend some time with the Chargers and relax a little. It'll do wonders for you." Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to spend an evening down in the tavern with some of the regulars. She knew Bull wasn't the only one who liked to spend time drinking and exchanging stories, Blackwall and Varric both being frequent visitors. And after dragging most of her companions half way across Thedas and back again, she guessed she owed them all a drink or two.

"Lets make it a date then Bull." The Inquisitor said with a smile, winking at the Qunari as he made eye contact with her. Spending time with men like Iron Bull, fighting side by side against dragons and spending evenings huddled around camp fires, had meant that Evelyn had had to get used to casual teasing and flirting from the get go, and she was starting to give as good as she got.

"Definitely Boss." He all put purred out the words, knocking back the rest of his drink before giving Evelyn a smirk. Smiling brightly, the Inquisitor took a final sip of her drink before pulling herself up out of her chair. With a wave of her hand, Evelyn bid the Qunari goodbye before stepping back out into the sunlight which warmed Skyhold.

The keep was buzzing with activity, people coming and going, hurrying about as they attempted to get things prepared. A number of noble lords and ladies had made the trip up the mountain to their home, bringing resources and talk of how they would help the Inquisition. Evelyn left much of the negotiations to Josephine, putting in an appearance only when the Ambassador insisted. She wasn't a fan of playing the game, being one who usually jumped to the conclusion that everyone was out for their own personal gain and not for the collective good of saving Thedas.

She noted the strange boy Cole sitting on the edge of a wall looking down into the courtyard below. Many of her companions thought the young man was peculiar, finding his remarks unusual and his behaviour bizarre. Evelyn didn't completely understand the boy but she couldn't ask him to leave after he had helped them in Haven. In a way, he had helped save many people by appearing out of the blue in the middle of their battle, and once they had arrived at Skyhold he had asked to stay so he could help more people. Evelyn hadn't been able to say no to that.

Crossing the keep, the Inquisitor came to stand next to the wall by Cole, following his gaze to the scene he was watching. Commander Cullen was stood with his arms crossed over his chest, watching as troops clashed in mock fights. Evelyn assumed that these were the new men and women who had joined them over the recent weeks, their numbers growing with each passing day. As word of what the Inquisition was attempting to do spread across the land, more and more people were coming to join their cause. It warmed her heart to see so many people supporting what she and the others were trying to do.

Evelyn couldn't help the way her eyes were drawn to the Commander, her mind replying their encounter in vivid detail. His hair was ruffled compared to it's usual carefully styled appearance, the Inquisitor's cheeks flushing as she realised she was most likely to blame for the change in look. Biting her teeth into her bottom lip, her mind conjured images of what she believed was hidden behind the armour the man wore every day and what she would do if she was able to get under it.

"Lips against skin. Hands caressing. A muffled groan of-"

"Cole!" Evelyn snapped out the boy's name, cutting off what he was about to say. Cole's words had taken a little while to register, but once she understood what the boy was saying her head had whipped round to where he was sat. The rouge had turned slightly towards the Inquisitor, his face blank of any emotion, eyes hidden under the wide brim of his hat.

Solas had warned her that the boy seemed to have some sort of ability to see into the minds of those around him and know what they were thinking. It was slightly frightening to think that he might have just seen the images which had been flicking through her brain. At the same time, she had witnessed the good he was able to do for people who were troubled, being able to pick up on what was hurting them and wanting nothing more then to help. Deep down she didn't think he was a harmful as others made out.

"You have feelings for him, yet you're afraid. So very afraid. I don't understand." Cole said slowly, his attention shifting between Evelyn and the courtyard below them. His tone gave away the emotions he was feeling, confusion lacing each word. There was an innocence to the boy which was sometimes forgotten by those around him. "Why are you scared of falling in love?"

Evelyn considered the question the boy was posing. There was a small part of her mind, hidden away at the back, which worried about what was going to happen now between her and Cullen. They were in the middle of a war, a war she was determined to win but with no way of guaranteeing it. That sort of situation resulted in a whole bundle of worries and fears. What would happen to all those in Skyhold should their defences not stand? Would her friends make it through the countless battles she seemed to be dragging them through? Fearing what would happen to her relationship with Cullen was clearly just the tip of the iceberg.

"Because I don't know what the future holds. And that is scary. I'm afraid that it will go wrong. That I'll be left all alone. Or that I'll lose him to Corypheus and there'll be nothing I can do about it." The Inquisitor spoke without really thinking, not knowing why she was sharing her personal thoughts and feelings with Cole. Her eyes followed Cullen while she talked, watching as he showed a recruit how he should have been holding his shield. The man was a stickler for detail.

Cole pulled himself up from his position on the wall and climbed down so he was standing at Evelyn's side. "Then why do people fall in love? If it makes people so afraid, why do they do it?" He asked after a moment of silence, looking up enough to show his eyes from under the hat. There was a hint of sadness in his swirling irises, sadness Evelyn suspected was directed towards her. He appeared so young when he showed his face, a young man who hadn't seen much of the world. And yet, the Inquisitor sometimes got the impression that Cole was not as young as he seemed. That there was a whole lot more to him then she knew.

"While love may be scary, it is also a wonderful thing. To have someone in your life who means more to you then anything else. Someone to stand at your side through the good and the bad. Someone to hold you at night, and keep you safe from the cold. As with many things, there is good and bad to be found." Evelyn replied, giving a light smile as she turned to fully face Cole.

A moment of silence fell between the two as the young man seemed to consider her words, emotion reaching his features as he stood looking up at her. The Inquisitor knew only a limited amount about Cole's background, but a part of her felt that love, like the kind he seemed to believe was blooming between her and the Commander, was not something he had experienced first hand. After a while a small smile began to play at the corner of his mouth, the sadness in his eyes being replaced with the hint of happiness.

"You should let go of your worry. It will help." Cole said brightly, looking up at Evelyn before turning his attention back down to the courtyard. He made it sound so simple and maybe in his mind it really was as easy as that. "Everyone worries. Will they see their family again? Will the pain go away? If they all let go of their worry, they would be happier."

Smiling across at Cole, Evelyn considered trying to explain to the young man just had difficult some people found it to let go of their fears, before giving up on the idea completely. She suspected that if he didn't understand what she meant straight away, she would find herself losing track of time as she went round and round in circles with him. Some concepts just didn't seem to work in his head and she had witnessed first hand people getting themselves frustrated as they tried to explain things to him.

Giving one final look down at Cullen, the Inquisitor left Cole to his people watching before kicking into gear. Making her way towards the throne room, Evelyn thought it was best to start searching for Josephine before she sent out a search party of her own. The woman would be glad to see her fixed up in time for their trip to the Winter Palace and the Inquisitor just knew she would have a long list of things they needed to discuss before they could begin the trip. It was going to be a long day.


	6. Chapter 6

Warning: This story is rated mature for later chapters.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

The trip from Skyhold to the Winter Palace seemed to be taking forever. Evelyn, Josephine, Leliana and Cullen had been trapped inside the carriage for too long. Each of them was beginning to fidget beyond control. Every once in a while Jose would start fussing over one of them, straightening a part of their outfit, or brushing strands of hair back into place. It was enough to drive anyone mad, but it seemed that the pressure was a little bit too much for the Inquisition's Commander.

"For Marker's sake Josephine, leave it alone." Cullen snapped as the Ambassador reached towards him, lightly batting away her hand. Whenever the carriage would hit a rocky patch in the road, a lock of his hair would fall out of place, ruining the carefully styled look he was going for. Hurt flashed across the features of Josephine as she pulled her arm back towards herself, avoiding Evelyn's gaze by turning her eyes down to her feet.

An awkward silence filled the carriage, pressing down on them as the Inquisitor turned her eyes between her advisors. Leliana was sat with one leg crossed neatly over the other, looking strange in her formal attire. Her eyes were turned to one of the small windows which ran down the side of the carriage, but that didn't mean she wasn't paying attention to what was going on inside. Evelyn had never seen the woman out of her usual hooded outfit, the Spymaster seemingly ready to fall back into the shadows at any moment if needed. There would be no hiding in the formal clothes they were wearing.

Josephine on the other hand wore her ceremonial garments with a defined air. The Inquisitor suspected the noblewoman felt more at home in their current situation then in the walls of Skyhold. Having spent many years as an ambassador in royal courts across Thedas, a simple trip to the Winter Palace would be nothing in comparison for the woman. If anything, this was an opportunity for Josephine to show just how important her role was in comparison to her counterparts.

Turning her gaze onto the Commander, the Inquisitor caught the guilty look which was currently pulling at his features as he looked over at their Ambassador. Clearly he was regretting his sudden outburst. Cullen had not been pleased with the idea of wearing Josephine's choice of clothing instead of his usual amour, but he had caved once the woman had nagged him enough. Evelyn was pretty sure that hidden in one of the trunks they had brought with them were his items, the thought causing a smile to pull at the corner of her mouth.

"How much longer until we arrive?" Evelyn said in a slightly louder voice then was needed. The silence was unnerving her slightly, leaving her with only the dark thoughts in her mind to occupy herself. Leliana shifted slightly in her spot so she was turned towards the Inquisitor, rising an eyebrow slightly as she studied her. Had the Spymaster picked up on her unease? The woman was good, most likely reading the tiny hints of emotions which would bleed through her façade from time to time.

"We shouldn't be too much longer Inquisitor." Josephine replied in a meek voice, her gaze fixed on the hem of her shirt as she rolled the fabric between her fingertips. Evelyn needed the graceful and charming Ambassador she knew, not the subdued person who was currently sitting across from her. Looking at the Commander sitting at her side, she saw he had his gaze fixed on Josephine, lips parted slightly as if he was about to speak. With a sigh, the Inquisitor pushed an elbow into Cullen's side, inclining her head towards Josephine when she got a questioning look from the man.

"I'm sorry Josephine. I didn't mean to snap." Cullen stumbled over his words, conviction lacking in his tone as he spoke. The Ambassador must have noticed his uncertainty as her eyes were quick to jump up to his face, a hint of anger showing in her features.

"The court demands a certain level of care and attention to the way a person looks. I was only trying to help." Evelyn could tell that Josephine was trying to remain polite, her voice sounding a little stained as she spoke. Maybe the woman was becoming a little stressed about the whole thing. At the end of the day, if this didn't go down well, the Inquisition risked losing a lot of support and that was something which Josephine was attempting to avoid at all costs.

"I understand that Ambassador but I don't need you fussing over how I look every few minutes." Cullen retorted. This was not the time or place to be arguing over something so small, or so Evelyn thought. Having spent a fair amount of time with the Ambassador in the days leading up to their trip, she knew that woman would not think the matter was small.

"I am the chief diplomat for the Inquisition Commander. I am the one who has spent time in the noble courts of this land. It is my knowledge and experience which has helped place the Inquisition into a favourable light in the eyes of many of the large families of Orlais. You will forgive me if I do my job and ensure you look the part for the people you are about to meet."

Cullen huffed loudly before muttering under his breath. "No one will care if I have a lock of hair out of place." It seemed that this was the last straw for the Ambassador, as the little restraint she had been holding onto snapped. Evelyn had never seen the woman get angry before, Josephine being known for keeping completely calm, even when dealing with some of the more difficult of guests they had been forced to entertain.

"I don't tell you how to do your job, so I kindly ask that you don't tell me how to do mine!" Josephine replied, her words half yelled as she eyed the Commander. Evelyn was used to the four of them debating across the war table, but this wasn't debating. The two were acting like a pair of fighting mabari war hounds, each attempting to come out on top over the other. It was enough to make Leliana and the Inquisitor roll eyes at each other.

"You might not tell me how to do my job, but you're more then happy to argue against me when I'm trying to do it." Cullen shot back, his eyes blazing with anger as he tensed within his seat. This really was not the time or place to start fighting, especially when they were meant to be showing a united front to the noble men and women of the Winter Palace.

"That's enough." Evelyn snapped loudly, throwing looks between her advisors which she hoped conveyed that the argument was over. Her head was pounding, pain coursing through her and the raised voices were doing nothing to help. Rubbing at her forehead, the Inquisitor did her best to silence the groan of discomfort which was pushing it's way out of her mouth.

"Inquisitor?" Leliana shifted forwards in her seat so she could look up on Evelyn's face better. Clearly she hadn't done a very good job of keeping quiet. She could see a hint of concern on the Spymaster's face, her eyes flicking quickly over the Inquisitor as if she was assessing her.

Taking a deep breath, Evelyn removed her hand from her head before forcing a smile onto her lips. "I'm fine. Don't worry." She knew no one believed her, but there was no time for anyone to protest as the carriage came to an abrupt stop. A knock sounded at one of the doors before it was pulled open. The Grey Warden Blackwall poked his head inside, his features set into a hard line as he eyes came to rest on the Inquisitor.

"They wish to see our invitation before letting us inside." The Warden stated in a gruff tone, his unease clear on his face. Evelyn had thought it was best to bring some of her companions on their trip to the Winter Palace. If there truly was someone out to kill Empress Celene at the grand ball, the Inquisitor would need the support of her friends to stop it.

"We will see to this Inquisitor." Josephine said in response, bowing her head towards Evelyn before climbing out of the carriage past Blackwall. Leliana was quick to follow after the Ambassador, throwing a final look towards Evelyn before disappearing out of sight. The Warden closed the door once the Spymaster was out, leaving the Trevelyan alone with her Commander.

Since their moment on the battlements, Evelyn had not found much time to be alone with Cullen. Preparations for their trip to the Winter Palace had taken up a lot of her time, Josephine being adamant that the Inquisitor took an active role in preparing. It had been a long time since she had last had to dress up for an important social event such as the one they were about to enter. She had learnt a lot from her Ambassador about what had changed in regards to the Game, but that didn't mean she was looking forward to it.

Giving a deep sigh, she tried to clear her mind of all the thoughts which were trying to bubble up to the surface. Slumping to the side, Evelyn found herself resting against the shoulder of her Commander, his comforting scent wrapping itself around her and calming her mind. A large warm hand settled over her own, squeezing lightly, acting as a silent gesture of comfort as they waited for the others to return.

Evelyn hadn't realised how much she had missed being around Cullen until that moment, the calm he brought her sweeping through her body as she relaxed against him. She knew she were meant to be thinking of the nobles of the Winter Palace and what she needed to do to stop the attempt on the Empress' life, but she couldn't help herself. In the chaos that was the Inquisition, the rare moments of peace had to be held onto tightly.

Turning her head to the side, she noticed the Commander studying her, the anger she has seen in his eyes having been replaced with a look of longing. She liked the way he looked in his formal attire, making an unusual but nice change from the amour she always saw him in. Not that she was complaining. She was particularly keen on the fur coat he wore, her many nights spent wrapped in the item being proof enough. What she would have given to be curled up in the warm of Cullen's jacket at that moment. She needed a rest from everything.

"Are you truly alright my lady?" Cullen asked in a hushed tone, his free hand coming up to gently cup her cheek. Without thinking about what she was doing, Evelyn found herself leaning into his touch, eyes fluttering closed as she indulged in the sensation. If she was honest, she was never really alright, what with everything that was going on in her life. But the Inquisitor was pretty sure her Commander was not asking about her overall mental and physical well being at that point in time.

"I'll be alright once we get this evening over and done with." Evelyn forced a smile on her lips, doing her best to ignore the throbbing pain which ran it's way across her forehead. If it hadn't of been for the threats against Empress Celene's life, the Inquisitor would have been more then happy to send Josephine and some diplomats to the Winter Palace while she went to hunt for the missing Grey Wardens. But thinking about what she would have liked to do was not going to change what had been decided.

Cullen cocked an eyebrow at her, a look of disbelief reaching his features as he studied her. Clearly she needed to work on her lying. The Commander removed the hand he had been pressing to her check and brought it up to rest against her forehead, the coolness of his skin offering a moment of relief from the pain. He didn't press the matter any further, staying silent as they waited for the Ambassador and Spymaster to return. The sound of footfall drawing near was the only signal they got before the door of the carriage was pulled open.

Evelyn and Cullen pulled away from each other before anyone was able to notice what they had been doing. The Inquisitor was not ashamed of being seen with the Commander, she just knew neither of them wanted to listen to the teasing which would come from people noticing their relationship. Leliana poked her head inside the carriage, her eyes coming to rest on Evelyn before she spoke.

"Ready my lady?" There was an apprehensive note to her voice, the faint hint of worry showing in the corners of her eyes. Maybe the only person who seemed to be looking forward to this event was the Ambassador, and even then Evelyn questioned whether the woman was really going to enjoy playing nice with a large group of nobles for the whole evening.

"Ready as I'll ever be." The Inquisitor replied, brushing down her clothes before pulling herself up out of her seat and climbing out of the carriage. The moment she stepped outside she was hit by the cold wind which was blowing, indulging in the sensation for the moment as the breeze soothed her head. A hand came to press at the base of her spine, pulling her back to reality. Cullen smiled slightly as he looked down on Evelyn, his fingertips making circling on her back as they stood there. She couldn't put off the inevitable any longer and in reality maybe the evening wouldn't be as bad as she thought. Then again, when had she ever been that lucky?

* * *

The events of the evening had drained him. Playing the Game in the Orlais court was not something Cullen was ever going to enjoy doing. Add in trying to stop an assassination attempt into the mix and you had an almost guaranteed way of putting the Commander off the Game for life. Cullen's time at the Winter Palace had not persuaded him to change careers anytime soon, not that he would ever dream of doing so. As people liked to keep reminding him, the Inquisition needed him, regardless of whether he felt he was up to the task sometimes.

Rubbing at the back of his neck, he found himself wandering the corridors in search of some peace and quite. He had known before entering the palace that there was no chance he would be allowed to be alone, but he hadn't realised just how much attention he would garner. It had been enough to send him into a blundering, nervous mess. Years spent taking orders and leading men was no sort of preparation for spending time with Orlaisan nobles.

The bombardment of questions and conversation had meant that after a while the Commander had found himself going into autopilot, saying the same sort of things over and over again as each new huddle of men and women found their way over to him. It was this sort of behaviour which had resulted in him making a fool of himself in front of the Inquisitor. It was a busy night for her and yet she had found the time to come over to see how he was doing. When she had asked him to save her a dance he had automatically rejected her request without thinking, having to back paddle quickly when he realised it was not one of the Winter Palace noblewomen asking for once.

Speaking of the Inquisitor, Josephine had been running around in a flap trying to find her. At some point after they had saved Empress Celene's life, Evelyn had disappeared. The Ambassador was adamant that there was still things left to be done, but if Cullen was honest he wasn't sure what else Evelyn could do. They have played the Game just as Josephine had instructed, had stopped an assassination attempt and hopefully in the process had garnered the Inquisition more support. What the Ambassador could still want with the woman the Commander didn't know, but then again he never really understood how Josephine worked.

As Cullen rounded a corner he noticed a grand set of doors had been opened on one of the many garden balconies which littered the Winter Palace. The evening's event had kicked back into gear now that things appeared to have been resolved with the Empress and most people had gone back to dancing or gossiping within the grand hall. The Commander hoped that this section of the palace would therefore be a peaceful retreat for him to hide in for a while.

Walking towards the door, the Commander found himself locking eyes with Celene's magical advisor Morrigan, a woman who gave off a dangerous aura. The woman had a knowing smile on her face as she seemed to float pass him, a look which made him wonder why exactly she had been out on the balcony. Pausing for a moment, he watched the witch walk back into the grand hall before turning his attention outside.

Stepping out, Cullen was quick to discover the reason why Morrigan had been on the balacony. The Inquisitor was stood with her back to him, staring out across the landscape as the wind whipped around her. She was a beautiful sight, the moonlight dancing off of her red hair, her formal attire clinging to the curves of her body. Cullen knew he should have known better, but when Evelyn looked so good he just couldn't help but stare. Taking a deep breath, he did his best to control where his trail of thought was going as he wandered over to her side.

"There you are. Everyone's been looking for you." He said as he leaned his arms against the stone wall, looking out across the land below before turning his attention back up onto Evelyn. She was no longer trying to hide just how stressed and worn out she really was, dark marks having formed under her eyes and weariness clear in her features. How she was able to still stand after the night they had been through was a testament to her determination and resolve.

"Things have calmed down for the moment. Are you alright?" Cullen asked, watching the way the Inquisitor's eyes fluttered slightly as if she was struggling to keep awake. He already knew what the most likely answer would be, but he couldn't help asking all the same. He hadn't been able to stop worrying about her all evening, not enjoying the lack of control he had over the situation. Normally he would have had his sword by his side to reassure him, but Josephine had thrown a fit when she had seen him attempting to bring it with them. According to her, weapons were not to be brought anywhere near the Winter Palace. It unnerved him.

"I'm just worn out. Tonight has been...very long." Evelyn said with a deep sigh, turning her head down to stare at the floor. There had been a quiver in her tone, her attempt at hiding her fatigue failing as she stood with the Commander. The adrenaline from the evening's events was most likely all gone by now, the reality of just how sleep deprived she was hitting her body hard. Cullen wanted nothing more then to whisk her away from it all.

"For all of us. I'm glad it's over." Cullen watched the way the Inquisitor seemed to be staring into space as he spoke, not paying any attention to what he was saying. He couldn't really blame her, the events of the evening giving them all something to think about, Evelyn even more so. Bringing up a hand, he rubbed at the Inquisitor's shoulder, a fluttering starting in his stomach when she returned the gesture by gripping his hand slightly for a moment before letting her hand drop away. "I know it's foolish, but I was worried for you tonight."

A small smile pulled at the corner of Evelyn's lips, her half closed eyes coming up to look at him for a moment. Cullen found himself captivated by her face, the desire to cup her cheek and caress her skin burning through his veins. He had missed spending time alone with the Inquisitor, even if that time was spent sitting silently in each other's company. Evelyn's presence could both sooth him and set his blood boiling with longing, something which the Commander had not experienced or allowed himself to experience in many years.

In the background, Cullen could hear the sound of the live orchestra Empress Celene had brought in to entertain the guests starting to play again, the music drifting out of the open windows to their balcony. Looking back towards the door for a moment, the Commander watched as noble men and woman glided across the open space of the grand hall, swaying in time to the music as they turned and twirled. The memory of Evelyn asking for a dance bubbled to the surface, creating an idea.

"I may never have another chance like this, so I must ask." Cullen pushed himself away from the wall and took a step back, holding out his hand as he gave a small bow. "May I have this dance, my lady?"

Evelyn stood with her mouth hanging open for a few seconds, merely staring at Cullen as he stood with his hand reached out towards her. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, praying that the Inquisitor was not about to turn him down. He watched as her smile slowly started to grow into a grin, the stress of the day's events seeming to wash away as she took a hold of his hand and stepped towards him.

"Of course. I thought you didn't dance?" The Inquisitor asked in a teasing tone, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Pulling her in close, Cullen was hit by the smell of wild flowers, the feeling of her body pressing against his own sending a shiver down his spine.

"For you, I'll try." The Commander spoke in a husky tone, leading Evelyn in a slow dance, turning in circles as the music washed over them. Dancing had not been high on the list of things a templar needed to know, meaning Cullen had never really had the chance to learn. The Ambassador had attempted to show him the basics back at Skyhold, telling him over and over again how important it was for him to know how to dance while he was at the palace, but the Commander had struggled. Now, in the light of the moon with just Evelyn for company, he found it wasn't as difficult as others had made it out to be.

"See, you can dance." Evelyn smiled brightly as she spoke, the expression reaching her eyes and chasing away some of the tiredness. Cullen couldn't help giving a slight chuckle, spinning them around in a series of quick circles before slowing back down to the beat of the song. Laughter erupted from woman, the sound like music to the Commander's ear. It had been a long time since he had last heard her laugh as sincerely as she did then.

They didn't speak as they turned, the Inquisitor resting her head onto Cullen's shoulder as they moved. It was good to lose themselves in the sound of the music, forgetting about the events of the night and the things which were bound to happen next. For a small moment in time they could pretend not to be part of the Inquisition, pretend that Thedas was not at war and people were dying across the land.

Evelyn made a content sound as she leaned against the Commander, the tension which had built up over the last few days fading from her features. Cullen couldn't help thanking the Maker. With everything that had happened over the years, the Circle falling at Kinloch Hold, the disaster which was Kirkwall, the Commander had come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to find happiness like the fairy tales promised. He didn't dare get his hopes up too much, but maybe he had a chance of something with Evelyn, something more then just glances across the room or a single night together.

The sound of clapping coming from the grand hall signalled the end of the song, bringing Cullen and Evelyn to a stop as they looked down into each other faces. The world seemed to fade away as the Commander found himself becoming lost in the bright green eyes of the Inquisitor, the moonlight causing them to sparkle. The sight of her tongue poking out to run over her lips caused his attention to snap down to her mouth, the fight to remain professional slipping away the longer he stood there.

Evelyn dug her fingertips into Cullen's shoulder slightly, pushing herself up onto tiptoes to bring their lips together. The Commander was caught off guard by her actions, taking a moment to register the feeling of her mouth kissing him before he kicked into gear. The grip on her waist increased as he pulled her flush against him, claiming her mouth in a bruising kiss. A faint groan worked it's way out of the Inquisitor, eyes flickering closed as she melted against him.

Concerns about getting caught by those attending the Winter Palace disappeared to the back of Cullen's mind as he indulged in the feel of Evelyn's soft lips against his own. Their kisses were intense, the Inquisitor giving as good as the Commander gave as they stood within each other's arms. When her mouth opened slightly, Cullen was quick to take the opportunity and darted in, their teeth scraping together as their tongues danced.

While the Commander had been leading their dance before, Evelyn was now the one to take control of their movements. Turning slightly, she began to press against Cullen, forcing him to slowly back up across the balcony. They didn't break their kiss as they moved, his grip strong on her waist as if afraid he would lose her if he left go.

Cullen felt the small of his back hit the stone wall as he backed up, smiling against Evelyn's lips as she pressed her hips against him. The Commander's fingers came up to tangle in the Inquisitor's hair, freeing it from the braid Josephine had insisted on and allowing him to lightly grip the soft red waves in his hand. The pressure of her body against his set his nerve endings alight, his body happy to show the sort of reaction Evelyn could cause with her actions. Consciously or unconsciously she had began to grind herself against him, their formal attire offering little in the means of a barrier between them.

The Commander broke their kiss in order to dig his teeth into his lip, keeping in the low moan which was forming in his throat. Evelyn's flushed face turned up to his, her eyes twinkling as she seductively chewed the corner of her mouth. What he wouldn't have given for a private room for them to disappear into. Sadly, the present had a nasty way of catching up all too quickly.

"Inquisitor? Inquisitor?!" Josephine's voice pierced the moment which had enclosed the pair, causing them to break away from each other with a start. Evelyn looked back towards the open doors to the grand hall, untangling herself from Cullen's arms and straightening herself out as the Ambassador appeared at the windows leading towards them. The Commander turned himself away from the Inquisitor, staring out into the night as he listened to the sound of footsteps drawing close.

"Inquisitor. I'm so glad I've found you. Everyone has been waiting for you." The Ambassador did not sound happy as she spoke. Cullen knew that Josephine had wanted anyone who found Evelyn to bring her back as soon as possible, knew that he was most likely currently getting death stares from the Ambassador as she looked at the pair. The pair most likely made a fine sight for Josephine, ruffled hair and crimson skin, things he was hoping were hidden in the darkness of the night.

"Relax Josephine. Lets go." Evelyn said in a clipped tone, all hints of the sultry woman who had just been in his arms having disappeared. Cullen listened to the sound of the Inquisitor walking away from him, Josephine joining her a few moments later, after she had most likely finished glaring at his back.

Giving a deep sigh, the Commander turned his eyes up to the full moon which loomed above him. His heart beat was slowly returning to it's natural rhythm, his mind no longer clouded with desire. While most of his body was able to quickly return to its normal restrained state, his lower half was struggling to calm down. It probably didn't help that he wouldn't stop thinking about the way Evelyn felt pressed up against his body, the soft sounds she made as they kissed. With the way things were it was going to be another long lonely night for the Inquisition's Commander.


	7. Chapter 7

Warning: This story is rated mature for later chapters.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

"NO!" The word was ripped from Evelyn's lips as she sat bolt upright in her bed. Sweat poured down her skin and her heart raced within her chest, threatening to burst free at any moment. The fog in her mind slowly started to lift and the Inquisitor began to realise she wasn't dreaming any longer.

Taking deep breaths, she found herself studying the room around her, anything to take her mind away from the nightmare which had awoken her. The fireplace was no longer roaring away as it had been when she had first got into bed, yet it hadn't completely gone out in the time she had been asleep. Clearly she had only been dreaming for a few hours at most. Looking towards one of the grand windows which lined her room, she noted how low the moon was in the sky. She really hadn't been asleep for long at all.

Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she knew she would have no luck returning to sleep for a while, and therefore saw no other option then to get up. Padding across the room, the Inquisitor grabbed up the unopened bottle of wine which was sitting on her desk and pulled the top off with her teeth. Taking a deep swig, she tried repeatedly to tell her mind it had only been a dream.

As the Inquisition moved forwards with it's attempts to stop Corypheus, Evelyn found her dreams becoming worse. The devastating attack on Haven was still the setting, but the people involved were no longer just the residents of the doomed town. More and more she was forced to watch as her friends and companions were cut down in front of her, all while a demonic voice reminded her of her failings. It was enough to drive anyone mad.

Sighing deeply, she took her bottle of wine and ventured out onto one of her balconies, smiling slightly as she looked at the lights which dotted Skyhold's keep. It was reassuring to see that normal life continued across the stronghold. A cold wind whipped around her, pulling her hair into a tangled mess as it bit at her body and tried to steal away her heat. Only with each sip of the sweet wine she found the chill effected her less and less, a warmth growing in her stomach and seeping out across her skin.

As of late, her night-time visions has resulted in her developing a strange habit of having to check on everyone she had seen in her dream. She now knew Skyhold like the back of her hand and while she was sure such knowledge would one day come in handy, the Inquisitor was convinced that someone was going to notice her behaviour soon enough.

When the whole thing had started, Evelyn had promised herself she wouldn't get too close to anyone. If the worse was to happen and someone died, the blow would be greater now she had got to know people. But thinking on it, she knew it would have been impossible for her not to get close. Regardless of what she could have done, Varric would have pulled her into a game of Wicked Grace, Sera would have convinced her to help her prank some people and Iron Bull would have got her drinking in the keep's tavern. There really was no denying the company she kept.

And then there was Cullen. Being friends with people was one thing, but she should have known better then to start falling for someone in a situation such as theirs. Before she had known what was happening, she was being sucked in by his warm amber eyes and rugged good looks, and now all she could do was fight the ever building fear she felt for his life. She would never admit it to anyone in her close circle, but if anything was to happen to her Commander, she wasn't sure what she would do.

Their late night meeting at the Winter Palace, their heated moment on the balcony, had only served to dump fuel on the fire. If it hadn't of been for Josephine interrupting them as she had, Evelyn was sure the pair would have taken things a lot further. In hindsight it was probably a good thing that they had been interrupted, considering their location at the time. Getting heated with the Commander in the middle of Empress Celene's ball wasn't the wisest of things to do, but then again the Inquisitor was not known for playing it safe.

Knowing she didn't want to chance going back to sleep anytime soon, she took a final sip of her wine to help calm her frayed nerves before ducking back inside her quarters. Placing the bottle down onto the desk, she grabbed up her leather boots and proceeded to lace them on. It might have been a cold night in Skyhold, but she saw no point in changing into her usual attire for her outing. Grabbing one of her heavy overcoats to keep her warm, she threw it around her shoulders before slipping down the stairs.

For once the throne room of Skyhold was empty of visitors, the nobles having retreated into the comfort of their rooms now the frosty chill of the mountain had invaded the hall. Evelyn could see that Varric was not in his usual place by the fire, having most likely disappeared off to the tavern to enjoy a game of Wicked Grace with the others. She would need to track him down if she wanted to put her mind at rest that night.

Turning her attention up, the Inquisitor watched as the shadow of Vivienne moved across the landing she had overtaken, the mage enjoying her own company over anything else. Maybe it was because the pair didn't spend a lot of time together, but as of yet Evelyn had not had the horror of having to watch the woman be brutally cut down in front of her in her nightmares. It wasn't that the two of them didn't get along, far from it. Vivienne had shown she could do as much work at Skyhold as she could out in the field with the Inquisitor, which had lead her to spending a lot of her time in the keep.

Not wanting to be caught lingering, Evelyn pushed her feet into motion and started away from the door to her quarters. Moving as quietly as possible, the Inquisitor wandered over to the open door which lead to Josephine's office and leaned around the frame in order to look inside. The Ambassador was sat at her desk, fingernails steepled in front of her face as she listened to the Inquisition's Spymaster who was stood before her. From the expression on the Montilyet's face the Inquisitor could only assume that the conversation was not going well, what with the way her eyebrows were drawn together and a frown pulled at the corner of her lips. Something mustn't have been going to plan.

Evelyn had no desire to be dragged into a conversation with the two women, knowing they would want her to make some sort of important decision about something. It was always the way it worked with them. Stepping away from the door, the Inquisitor moved to check on the elven mage Solas, who like Josephine, had taken a room just off of the hall.

As she drew up to his doorway, the Inquisitor noticed the mage stood in the centre of his room, attention drawn to the top of the detailed and elaborate image he had painted on the walls. She still didn't fully understand what Solas's printing was meant to be of, but she hadn't seen the harm in allowing him free rein of the blank walls of Skyhold. In her nightmare she had been forced to watch as arrows had ripped through the body of the male, his magical barrier having failed at the last moment, allowing the enemy the opening it had been looking for.

In her latest dream she had been unable to interact with anyone she saw, being forced instead to watch the action take place. It made the dream even more difficult to bear, the feeling of being powerless growing the longer she was made to watch Haven burn to the ground.

Not wanting to disturb Solas, Evelyn left him to his musing and stepped out of the throne room, shuffling down the steps which lead towards the upper courtyard of Skyhold. There was no denying where many of the residents of the keep were hiding that evening, judging by the noise which was coming out of the Herald's Rest. Some had been unsure about the idea of having a tavern in the middle of the Inquisition's stronghold, saying it wasn't in keeping with the idea of what they were trying to do. But in all the chaos which was dealing with Corypheus, it was nice to have a place to unwind and relax.

Pulling her overcoat tight around her body she wandered over to the noisy building, attempting to look in through the windows instead of going inside. If her mind had been more at rest, if a sense of panic had not been swirling in the pit of her stomach since she had awoken from her dream, she might have decided to join those inside. But as it stood, all she wanted to do was make sure everyone was alive and well.

Pushing herself up onto her tiptoes, the Inquisitor ran her hand over one of the windows to remove some of the dirt from the pane before peering inside. Her suspicion of where many of her companions had disappeared to was correct, as a large table in the centre of the tavern contained many of the people she had been searching for. Sera and Iron Bull were locked in an arm wrestling competition, the elf's face strained while the Qunari seemed completed unaffected. It appeared that Varric had somehow convinced Cassandra to join in some friendly betting, as a small pile of gold coins could be seen sitting between the two as each appeared to cheer on one of the contenders.

In a corner of the room Evelyn could just about make out Dorian sitting with the young man Cole. The pair had a strange sort of relationship. Cole had a knack for picking up on things the Tevinter mage tried desperately hard to hide. His feeling for his father for example. There had been a number of occasions when Dorian had been lost in thought, only to be interrupted by the rogue seemingly reading his mind. The mage was partly fascinated and partly terrified. It was always an interesting interaction to watch.

Looking between the people she had come to call friends, the Inquisitor could not help being dragged back to the reason why she was currently standing out in the cold looking in on them all. In the Inquisitor's nightmare she had been forced to watch as Sera had been cut down from behind, a red templar catching her unaware as she had prepared another arrow. Iron Bull had been caught in a fire trying to save his Charges from a burning building, a mental image of the male's charred body suddenly flashing across her mind. Cole had been helping someone into the safety of the Chantry when he had been rushed from the side, a blade finding it's mark in his ribs. Recalling it all sent a shiver down Evelyn's spine.

Taking a step away from the building, Evelyn took a number of deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. She needed to get a grip. The events of Haven had come and gone, she could not go back in time and relive it, no matter how real it all seemed in the nightmares. She just wanted one decent night of sleep without the fear of having to watch helplessly as her friends and companions were taken from her. Clearly it was all too much to ask for.

As she turned to finish off her search of Skyhold, Evelyn heard the sound of horses drawing into the courtyard below. Not wanting to be caught by whoever was returning so late at night, she made a quick retreat towards the throne room. It would not do for the Inquisitor to be found wandering around in the dark in her boots and overcoat.

* * *

The three loud bangs at his office door had the Commander looking up from his desk with concern. It was late, too late for the scouts to be reporting in for the evening. The days reports were already stacked up on his desk and he had doubled checked to ensure he had every report he needed. Setting down what he was working on, Cullen straightened himself up before yelling for the person to enter.

A solider, looking a lot worse for wear, all but fell through the door as they opened it. They were breathing heavily, the sound ringing out in the silent room as they came to stand on the other side of Cullen's desk. As the Commander studied the person in front of him, he could feel that bit of concern which had first appeared in his mind growing. Dried blood covered one side of the soldier's face, his armour was battered and broken in places, and his hands were shaking as he tried to collect himself to speak. What was going on?

"Commander. There's been an attack. A returning group was ambushed. They need help. Down the mountain." Each word was a struggle for the man, his voice breaking as he spoke, eyes unable to stay focused on his leader. There was a beat of silence, a moment where no sound seemed to exist, before Cullen was kicking into action. Grabbing up his sword from it's place against the edge of his desk, he fixed the trusted weapon back into it's usual position at his side before rounding the desk and wrapping an arm around the solider.

Clearly any hope of a quiet and peaceful night had been thrown to the wind. Supporting the bulk of the soldier's weight, Cullen slowly helped the man down from the battlements to the camp which had been set up just inside of Skyhold's main courtyard. One of the keep's guards was stood waiting for them, the reins of a saddled horse held firmly in his hands as he gave a short bow of his head.

"Wake the mages and the barracks. And get Master Dennet up." Cullen barked out his orders, turning away from the guard before he was able to respond. The soldier he was supporting gave a muffled groan of pain as the Commander helped him down onto the ground next to one of the tents. While the man was covers in dried blood, the patches of skin which could be seen beneath the dirt were almost pure white. If the mages didn't come soon he was sure they would loss him.

Skyhold quickly became a hive of activity. Sleepy soldiers began to appear in the courtyard, with half-dressed mages stumbling outside to attend to the wounded solider. Cullen would have preferred to be asleep in his bed, but news that some of his men were in trouble was enough to push away any weariness which had been clouding his mind. The roads leading back to their home were becoming dangerous and he wasn't about to stand by and let it happen.

A yawning horse master soon appeared outside the stables, waving the Commander over as he began to throw saddles onto animals. Striding over, Cullen disregarded any pleasantries he would have normally taken part in and got straight to the point. He needed 10 beasts saddled and ready to ride as quickly as possible. The man didn't ask why, just gave a sharp nod of his head before turning back to his work.

Returning to the group of soldiers who had gathered in the courtyard, Cullen studied the sleepy men and women who had hastily pulled on their amour to come meet him. Clearing his throat, the Commander waited for everyone to turn their eyes onto him before speaking. "I need 9 volunteers to join me down the mountain to find our brothers and sisters." Before much time had passed 9 willing soldiers had stepped out of the crowd to volunteer themselves. The Commander knew he could relay on the Inquisition's troops to come through for him.

After giving orders to those who would be left behind, Cullen returned to Master Dennet to check on the horses. The Grey Warden Blackwall had ventured down from the upper levels of the stable to see what was going on. He was wearing the armour he usually wore when he went out on the road with the Inquisitor, a sword strapped to his side and shield on his back.

"I'm coming with you." Blackwall said, his tone implying that he wasn't asking but telling the Commander. Cullen gave a short nod of his head, not being in the mood to argue with the man. Having the Warden with him would properly be a good thing, considering he had no idea what he would find once they got out onto the road.

Master Dennet took this moment to walk over to Cullen. "The horses are ready when you are Commander." The man had to stifle a yawn as he spoke, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth so not to appear rude. The Commander found himself biting the inside of his mouth to stop himself from yawning as well, fighting the tidiness which was threatening to overtake him. This was no time to be falling asleep when their men were in trouble.

"Shall we get going then?" Cullen asked as he looked over to Blackwall, watching the man give a nod of his head before he turned to leave the building. The Inquisition's troops were awaiting their orders, each stood with one of Master's Dennet's best horses at their side. A stable-hand held onto the reins of Cullen's stallion, bowing his head when the Commander came over.

In one movement Cullen pulled himself up and onto his awaiting horse. The beast held fast as the Commander straightened himself, giving a slight snort and a stamp of it's foot as he pulled on the reins. Looking back over his shoulder he noted his men were following his lead and mounting up. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Blackwell grabbed a saddle and threw it on to a horse, pulling himself up onto a large chestnut beast once the seat was fastened into place. Giving the creature a gentle pat on the side, the Warden pulled the rein's tight and trotted over to where Cullen was waiting.

"Ready?" Commander yelled, his question answered with a chorus of agreement. Turning his attention on to Blackwell, he clocked the dark look on the Warden's face. "Ready?" He asked in a quieter voice this time, studying the man next to him.

"Of course. Let's hope they're ready for us." The Warden replied, his gruff voice hiding any emotion. While Cullen had a great amount of respect for the Warden, something about the man just didn't feel right. He couldn't put his finger on what was bothering him, just a gut feeling which didn't sit well with him, but he knew that wasn't enough to prove anything. Pushing the thought out of his head, the Commander pressed his heels into his horse to urge it on, focusing his attention on the gate leading out of Skyhold.

Whatever had happened to their men, Cullen needed to find them and fast. Judging by how bad the solider who had made it back was, he couldn't help but worry about what had happened to the others. The Inquisition had already suffered one bandit attack on Evelyn and her companions. If the groups were becoming more organised and striking at troops moving in and out of the keep, there could be serious problems. What he wouldn't give for just one night without having to work.

* * *

It was daybreak by the time Cullen and his men made it back to Skyhold. The ride down the mountain had been without event, the clear night sky providing them with plenty of light to travel by and no nasty surprises waiting to jump out on them. Once they had reached the base, it did not take them long to find the wounded group.

It had been no ordinary bandit attack. In amongst those who had been slain by the Inquisition's troops had been a red templar. The creature's presence unnerved Cullen more then he should have allowed it. He had yet to admit to anyone apart from Cassandra that he was no longer taking lyrium, and the sight of the mangled mess which was the former templar had caused the Commander to lose his focus for a few moments. It was difficult enough to deal with the withdrawal effects while trying to be the leader everyone expected him to be, but to come into contact with tainted lyrium was an added difficulty he did not need.

As they came to a stop in the middle of Skyhold's courtyard, Cullen found his eyes trying to drift shut, his body swaying slightly before he gave a sharp shake of his head. Now was not the time to be falling asleep on the job. Jumping down from the beast, the Commander handed the reins to an awaiting guard before turning to assess their next step. They had lost some good soldiers that night and could lose more if their healers didn't act fast. His lack of sleep and frayed temper was clear in his voice, his orders barked out with a sharpness he didn't normally possess.

Blackwell dismounted from his animal not far from Cullen, taking a moment to look over the bustling courtyard before excusing himself to the stables. He mentioned something about helping the horse master, but the Commander wasn't really listening at that point. In reality there wasn't much else the Warden could do and so in a way it was better if he went off to another part of Skyhold. He had been a help with ensuring the safe return of their men, providing a solid guard at the back of their group as they had made their way up the mountain, but currently there was little else he could do to help.

Gripping the handle of his sword tightly, Cullen took a moment to take a number of deep breaths. He needed to regain control of himself. They had done everything they could to get their men back to safety and if it hadn't of been for the solider who had ridden back to raise the alarm, things could have been worse. He needed to ensure his men were being looked after properly before he could do anything else.

Striding across the courtyard, Cullen took a few moments to check on each solider they had brought back. Some needed minor care, a quick wave of a mage's hand to help with the healing process, while others would take days to recover. The Commander found that as he focused his attention onto the men and women who were hurt, his anger and frustration at the situation started to fade away. These people were what he needed to be worrying about currently. A time to figure out what they were going to do about the growing problems on the roads would come later.

Once he was sure that everything was in order, that the guards knew when they needed to change over and the kitchens were beginning to prepare foods for those who had just returned, Cullen finally allowed himself to step away. A much needed yawn forced it's way out of his mouth as he climbed the stairs to his office, his lack of sleep starting to catch up on him now the adrenalin of the evening had passed. Pushing open the wooden door, Cullen released a loud sigh as he slipped inside. Not wanting to be disturbed for a while, he ensured that the bolts were drawn on all the doors. He needed to catch up on his sleep and there was no way he would if people were free to wander in whenever they liked.

If it had not been for the years he had spent putting on and taking off amour, Cullen was sure he would have wasted a great deal of time getting undressed, such as the way he was feeling at that moment. As it was, it didn't take the man long to remove the heavy steel plated pieces for his body, piling most of it up into an empty chair in the corner of the room. He was more careful with where he placed his sword, resting the item against the desk ready for when he awoke. Only when he was left in his loose fitting under shirt and breeches did he turn his attention to the ladder which lead up to where he slept, taking little time to scale the rungs.

As Cullen's face became level with the floor of his sleeping quarters, he became aware that things were not how he'd left them. A pair of leather boots had been discarded on the floor closest to the ladder, seemingly kicked off and abandoned due to their lacing still being mostly in tact. Pulling himself up into a standing position, the Commander's eyes followed a trail of items which lead across the room.

Joining the boots was a heavy overcoat and a pair of socks, the garments forming a pile which sat closer to the bedstead then the footwear. What appeared to be a shirt and pair of cloth breeches had been folded up neatly and tucked under the bed, confusing the man to no end. His eyes travelled the remaining distance up onto the bed, narrowing as they fell on a mound which seemed to be hidden under the covers. Cullen walked slowly forwards, his ears picking up ragged breathing and muffled whimpers. He regretted leaving his sword down by his desk now.

The mound moved and the Commander found himself holding his breath as he watched, standing completely still as he waited to see what was hiding in his chamber. The cover slipped down and his breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell on his intruder.

Evelyn's face was filled with tension, lines drawn up close on her brow as she let out another whimper. The Inquisitor restlessly shifted in Cullen's bed, red hair fanned out against the pillows as she turned this way and that. Rooted to the spot, all the Commander could do was watch as the covers fell away from her body, exposing her to the cold air which blew through the room. She was dressed only in an oversized shirt, one which looked surprisingly similar to Cullen's, her long legs bare to the world.

It didn't matter how hard he tried, Cullen just couldn't push certain thoughts from his mind. The Inquisitor, the woman he had been fantasizing over for weeks, was laying half dressed in his bed. Heat filled his cheeks as he stood staring, eyes wandering over the curves of her body, noting the way the shirt was riding up high on her thighs as she laid there. The templar in him suddenly reared it's head, monumentally snapping him out of the haze which had flooded him.

He knew he needed to get a hold of himself, but his mind took that to mean something completely different to what he wanted it to be. The fight between the restrained templar side of him and the other desired hungry side was one which was quickly fought and won by longing and lust. Clearing his throat, the Commander found himself closing the gap between himself and the bed without his brain registering what was happening. Settling on the edge, he looked down on Evelyn and watched as she seemed to relax slightly. Her ragged breathing becoming slowly steady, eyes fluttering slightly before snapping suddenly open.

The pair stared at each for a few silence filled seconds, the Inquisitor taking a moment to register where she was and who was sitting in front of her. Worry flashed across her features before being replaced with relief, finger's coming up to feather across Cullen's cheek as a smile spread across her lips.

"You're back." Her words were a whisper, her bright green eyes studying his face as if searching for something. The Commander wanted to ask Evelyn what she was doing in his bed and in what seemed to be his clothes for that matter, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. Tentatively he caressed the side of the Inquisitor's face with the backs of his fingers, captivated as he watched the way she leaned into his touch. As her tongue peeked out to swipe across her bottom lips, Cullen found himself being drawn closer, their faces only inches apart now. As he leaned in to capture Evelyn's mouth, the tiny voice at the back of his mind, which always questioned whether any of this was a good idea, fell silent.


	8. Chapter 8

Warning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

Evelyn had not set out to end up in Cullen's bed. After heading back into the throne room on hearing someone returning to Skyhold, Evelyn had headed out into the Chantry garden in the hope that she would be alone and therefore able to hide until the coast was clear. Normally the garden was filled with those looking for a moment of peace and reflection, away from the noise and activity of the throne room. Yet at this time of night the space was deserted. In the day Empress Celene's magical advisor Morrigan could normally be found by the small pavilion which stood in one corner, however she was currently no where to be seen.

The Inquisitor had spent some time sitting on one of the benches which lined the edge of the garden, her attention fixed up on the night's sky. She could have stayed there for a while longer if it had not been for the arrival of Mother Giselle. What she was doing walking around Skyhold so late at night was a question which had ran through Evelyn's mind as she had sat in the darkness, eyes fixed on the woman as she moved across the garden.

The Chantry mother was a good person, having been found providing aid to the refugees of the Mage-Templar war in the Hinterlands. However that didn't mean that the Inquisitor wanted to be caught stalking around at night in just her overcoat and boots by the woman. She had held her breath as the woman had drawn near, listening to her quietly repeat sections of the Chant of Light to herself as she moved. Whatever reason she had for being in the garden so late at night seemed to blind her to what was around her, as she had walked past the Inquisitor without noticing her.

When Evelyn had finally managed to find an opening that allowed her to slip past Mother Giselle without being seen, she had made a quick exit out of the gardens and back into the throne room. Upon checking that no one was around, the Inquisitor had made her way across the deserted room to the door which lead down to Skyhold's kitchens. Late at night she knew that no one would be around working and so it made the perfect route to use to get down into the lower courtyards of the keep. Slipping out of the cookery, she had taken the stairs two at a time until she found herself by the stables.

Having been rudely interrupted by someone returning to the keep earlier in the evening, the Inquisitor had been able to continue her search for those she had seen in her dreams once she was convinced that no one was around. The Grey Warden Blackwell had been felled by a falling tree in her nightmare, the plant having been knocked down by Corypheus's winged beast. Wanting to ensure he was safe, she had entered the stables to see if she could find him resting in the upper levels.

The first thing she had noticed on entering the building was the lack of horses who could normally be found resting for the night. Many of the stable doors had been hanging open, their occupants no where to be found. Confused, she had ventured up the stairs to see if she could find the Warden in his normal hiding place, but found nothing. The sound of footsteps approaching made Evelyn come down from the rafters to see who was returning, puzzled to see the keeper of the Inquisition's horses up and about so late at night.

Master Dennet had seemed shocked to see the Inquisitor wandering around the stables, stumbling backwards once he had noticed her. The two had exchanged pleasantries before Evelyn had finally asked where all their horses had disappeared to.

"Commander Cullen has taken them. Our troops have been attacked on the road leading back to Skyhold. I thought someone would have told you my lady." Dennet had said, confusion clear on his features. Panic had risen up within Evelyn at his words, the attack she had suffered on the roads still clear in her mind. If Cullen had gone looking for their troops, then it was possible he could be ambushed just like she had been.

Keeping a straight face had been difficult, but the Inquisitor had forced herself to thank the horse master and bid him a good night before jogging out of the stables and up onto the battlements. Finding the door to the Commander's office open, Evelyn had let herself inside, thankful that some candles were still burning brightly to light the room. In her dreams she had heard Cullen calling out her name, his voice pained as he had yelled. However no matter how hard she had tried, she had been unable to find him anywhere. She wasn't sure what was worse, watching as the man was cut down by their enemy or being unable to find him when he needed her most.

Wandering over to the desk, the Inquisitor had regarded the items which Cullen had left littering the surface. Reports were scattered here and there, along with an open bottle of wine and various maps of Thedas. She hadn't been able to stop herself from smiling as she noted that a pile seemed to have been dedicated to her reports, some of them weeks old by now. Without the Commander there to stop her, Evelyn had been able to finally get a good look at the various books which the man collected. His shelves were filled with tomes from across the land, ranging from books on physical techniques to a copy of Varric's Hard in Hightown. It has calmed her slightly to explore the man's office, anything to take her mind away from the possible situation Cullen was currently in.

Every now and again Evelyn had found herself staring over at the ladder which led up to Cullen's bedroom above. She knew better then to go nosing around a person's private quarters, but having grown close to the man, she hadn't been able to stop herself from wondering what it would be like. She had tried to distract herself by picking a random book from the shelves and sitting in the Commander's chair to read, anything to take control of her trail of thoughts.

However the lure of finding out what the Commander's sleeping quarters looked like had been too much for the Inquisitor and she had taken no time in climbing up the ladder to find out. She had known that Cullen had refused to have work done on his office until the rest of the keep had been sorted, but she hadn't realised just how much work needed to be completed. Half of the ceiling seemed to be missing and some of the floorboards looked like they could snap at just the lightest of touch.

Evelyn had set herself on the edge of the opening which led into Cullen's room, allowing herself a moment to take it all in. His bed had been unmade and a number of items of clothing had been left on the ground. Clearly he hadn't been expecting guests upstairs. Not knowing what was happening or when the Commander would return unnerved the Inquisitor more then she wanted to admit. She hadn't wanted to return to her own room, knowing she would only spend her time out on her balcony watching for his return.

Instead she had decided that the best thing to do was to wait for Cullen to return in his quarters and therefore had made herself at home. Her boots had been kicked off and left by the opening in the floor, her overcoat and socks having followed shortly after now that she was protected from the worst of the mountain's weather outside. Padding across the room, she had retrieved what appeared to be one of the Commander's shirts from the floor, enjoying the smell of the outdoors which drifted from it.

She had known it had been a bad idea from the start but that hadn't been enough to stop her. Stripping off her own cloths, she had taken a moment to careful fold the items and place them into a small pile before pulling on the shirt she had found. The smell of Cullen had enveloped her the moment the shirt slipped into place, comforting her as she sat on edge of the bed. She had told herself she just wanted to spend a few minutes wrapped in the Commander's shirt, knowing she didn't have the nerve to ask the man directly to borrow his clothes.

As she had sat there enjoying the comforting smell of Cullen wrapping around her, she had found that sleep had been quick to catch up with. Without really thinking about the consequences of her actions, the Inquisitor had climbed into the man's bed and wriggled under the covers. In her head she had claimed she was just going to rest her eyes for a few minutes before getting dressed and waiting for the Commander downstairs. However that wasn't what had happened.

And now here she was, locking lips with the Commander while half dressed in his bed. There was no explaining her way out of this one and she knew it. She had not been able to hide the relief she had felt from seeing him safe and well from her face, the emotion having pulled at her features before she could react. The fog of sleep which had originally clouded her mind had all but lifted now, making her hyper aware of the warmth which radiated from Cullen's body.

A muffled moan tried to force it's way out of Evelyn's lips as her hands came up to wrap around the man's neck. They did not break their kiss as they fell back onto the bed, Cullen shifting slightly in order to stop all his weight from pressing down onto the Inquisitor. As her lips parted, the Commander took the opportunity to swipe his tongue into her mouth, their teeth scraping against each other as the kiss intensified.

The feel of a stray hand pressing against her exposed thigh caused the Inquisitor to jump slightly, resulting in a muffled chuckle from the Commander. His callous hand made a slow and meandering journey up her skin, his fingertips gently brushing against her hip bone as he reached the top of her leg.

Cullen was the one to break their kiss, pulling back slightly in order to look down onto Evelyn's face as each struggled to regain their breath. The Inquisitor could feel that her cheeks were flushed with colour, while her heart was beating wildly within her chest. The Commander said nothing as he untangled himself from her arms, ignoring the slight whine of protest which came from her once he was free from her grip. Without a word, he climbed across the bed and into the empty space next to her, pulling her against him once he was settled in place.

There was no denying that the Inquisitor had not thought about what it would be like to fall into bed with the Commander. And if the rumours around Skyhold had been true, then the pair had already taken a number of tumbles in the sack. As it was, Evelyn found her hands shaking slightly as she ran them over the cloth-covered muscular chest of the Inquisition's military leader. She was a mix of nervousness and excitement, her body tingling at the slightest touch.

Wriggling closer, she found herself running a finger over the scar which ran over Cullen's top lip before cupping his cheek. She had meant to ask him where the scar had come from, but it didn't seem like the right time to bring up the topic. Instead she leaned in to capture the Commander's lips in a kiss of her own. While her hands clung to him, one of his took the opportunity to ran up and down her thigh once more.

After another exchange of kisses which left them both gasping for air, Cullen slowly hooked his hand into the crease of Evelyn's knee and pulled her leg up to rest over his hip, causing the shirt she was wearing to ride up in the process. Without warning, the Commander grabbed her by the waist and pulled Evelyn on top of him so she was straddling his hips, causing a squeak to leave her mouth. From this position there was no mistaking the feel of the Commander's hardness and it sent a tingle to the base of her spine. Rocking her hips slightly, she couldn't help smirking at the rumble which came from the male's chest. A hand snaked it's way around the back of her neck and pulled her down into a blazing kiss.

Their teeth bashed together due to Cullen's roughness but neither of them seemed to mind, tongues coming together to dance for a moment before the Commander began to move his lips down over Evelyn's chin and onto her neck. Playful bites came in between kisses, moving slowly across her delicate skin until he discovered a particularly sensitive spot in the crock of her neck. Arching her back slightly, she could feel the man smirk against her skin at her reaction, clearly enjoying how easily she melted under his touch.

Hands found their way under her shirt, caressing her waist on their way up her body. Evelyn's teeth sunk into her bottom lip in an attempt to hold in a groan as Cullen's fingers brushed over her breasts, his touch light and teasing as he explored her body. Wriggling under his manipulations, the Inquisitor found herself grinding down on the Commander, drawing a hiss from his lips as she moved against his firmness. Every time the male feathered his fingers over her hypersensitive skin, she would repay the action in kind by squirming on top of him.

She wasn't sure at what point Cullen's kisses died away and his hands stopped to merely rest on her hips, but she did notice after a while. Evelyn stopped grinding her hips for a moment to listen to an odd sound that had filled the room. Sitting up fully, she looked about before turning her gaze down to the man below her.

In the darkness she wasn't able to clearly make out Cullen's face from her position straddling him, but the longer she spent looking at him, the more her eyes adjusted to the lack of light. The Commander's eyes had slipped closed and she knew it wasn't because he was caught up in their moment. The sound she had registered was coming from the man himself, lips parted slightly to release the quiet but now unmistakable sound of snoring.

She wasn't sure what had gone on that evening, but whatever had happened had drained the Commander of any remaining energy he had. After being unable to rouse the man by shaking his shoulders and whispering his name, the Inquisitor resigned herself to the fact that tonight was not going to be their night for 'getting dirty', as Varric or the Bull would have put it. It appeared the pair of them had the worse of luck when it came to finding time alone with each other.

Laughing quietly to herself, Evelyn gently placed a kiss on the male's forehead before removing herself from on top of him and taking up a position at his side. Clearly it had been an eventful night for him and while her body protested the lack of satisfying conclusion it wanted, she couldn't completely blame him for falling sleep. That wasn't to say that she wouldn't tease him about it in the morning. But in the end she knew better then anyone that eventually sleep always caught up with you.

After pulling the shirt she was wearing back down from around her waist and covering them both with a blank, Evelyn allowed herself to nuzzling into the man's side as he laid sleeping. She suspected that if she was able to have a peaceful night sleep while wrapped in the warmth of the Commander's cloak, she was bound to dream easy with the man at her side. Closing her eyes, she allowed the embrace of slumber to take her, praying she was right and wouldn't be afflicted by her accursed nightmares.

* * *

Warm rays of sunlight pushed their way through the cracks in the roof and across Evelyn's face, slowly waking her from the dreamless sleep she had been enjoying. A yawn forced it's way out of her mouth as she uncurled her limbs, stretching out her legs as she registered a warm weight pressing against her back.

Twisting her body, the Inquisitor turned herself just enough to be able to see the sleeping man behind her. Cullen's face was pulled into an expression of discomfort as a small whimper left his lips, his whole body twitching slightly. While she had been able to enjoy a night of peaceful sleep, it seemed her Commander had not been as lucky. A sheen of moister covered his brow, deep lines having formed around his eyes as he shifted restlessly.

Rolling over and propping herself up on one arm, Evelyn slowly ran a hand down the Commander's cheek, cooing slightly as she watched his reaction. For a moment the male appeared to lean into her touch, his twitching having stopped for a second before a strangled cry broke from his lips. She was able to make out a little of what he had started to mutter, something about wanting to be left alone, a plea of no. It appeared that something was haunting his dreams just like the Inquisitor normally experienced.

As Evelyn watched the changing expression which played across the Commander's face, Cullen's eyes suddenly shot open and a gasp left his lips as he woke. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he took in short, sharp breaths, his eyes coming to focus on the Inquisitor as he slowly started to calm down. A deep sigh left him as he leaned back into his pillow, closing his eyes for a moment as he seemed to register that fact that he was no longer dreaming.

Silence fell between them as the Commander pulled himself up into a sitting position, rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked around his quarters. Feeling a chill spread across her skin, the Inquisitor took their moment of muteness to lean out of the bed and grab up her clothes from the floor. As she began to dress, she could feel Cullen shifting at her back, frustrated nosing coming from him as he tried and failed to say whatever was on his mind. At last words seemed to return to him.

"Did we..." While Cullen seemed unable to finish his question, his meaning was very clear. Evelyn could not help smiling wide as she turned to look back at her Commander. It was obvious the slightest of things embarrassed him. Shaking her head, she watched as a blush made it's way across the man's face, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. "I fell asleep, didn't I?"

"You could say that. What happened last night Cullen? Master Dennet said our troops had been attacked." She could tell he was uncomfortable and hoped a change of topic would help clear the air between them. The Inquisitor continued to get dressed as she listened to Cullen's report on what had taken place. He explained about the scout returning to Skyhold and how he had lead a group of men, along with Blackwall, down the mountain side to find their missing troops. Much of what he described matched the attack that Evelyn had experienced, an ambush on the road seemingly carried out by bandits. It unnerved her that it had happened a second time.

"Was there anything unusual about the group of bandits who attacked our troops?" Evelyn knew she was asking a loaded question, but she wanted to hear what the Commander had found. Getting up, she went to grab her misplaced items from the floor before coming back to sit on the side of the bed, looking across at Cullen as she pulled on her socks.

"There was a dead red templar with the bandits." He replied, eyeing Evelyn with suspicion on his features. "What are you not telling me?"

The Inquisitor gave a sigh as she looked down at her hands. She had hoped that she'd have some more intel from their Spymaster before coming to speak to Cullen about the bandit attack, but it seemed that plan had been thrown out of the window. She hadn't wanted to worry him with news of red templars, but it seemed she could no longer keep that bit of information to herself.

"The bandit attack on me and the others, there was a red templar with them then. I asked Leliana to look into it for me. It seemed strange to only find one, and with a group of bandits no less. There's clearly more to this then I suspected." Evelyn sighed deeply as she put on one of her boots and started to lace it up. "If the red templars spread, if that lyrium spreads, if it gets here...I dread to think what might happen."

As she studied her boot, the Inquisitor found herself recalling the sight of the red templars heading for Haven. It sent an uncontrolled shiver down her spine to remember that night, the fear that had spread through her as she had watched the army of twisted lyrium infected templars coming towards their home bubbling back up the surface. She didn't want to think about what she would be forced to do if red lyrium ever make it's way into Skyhold.

When Evelyn looked back up from putting on her boots, she found herself locking eyes with the Commander. "What's wrong?" She asked after noting the way Cullen was staring at her, an sense of unease filling her stomach.

Leaning against the headboard, Cullen turned his eyes up to the ceiling for a moment as he let out a deep sigh. It was clear that something was troubling him, his eyebrows knotting as he stared off into the distance. There had been times before when Evelyn had caught sight of the same expression on the Commander's face. It never lasted for long, the man snapping back to his usual professional state whenever he had been caught. But the look had stuck with the Inquisitor. She had wanted to ask him what was wrong, had thought that he might open up to her. But then she had always been dragged away to deal with something before she had got the chance.

"There is something I need to tell you. Something I should I have told you a long time ago." Cullen said in a low voice, finally bringing his gaze down to make eye contact with Evelyn as they sat across from each other. The Inquisitor carefully folded a leg under herself, twisting her body slightly so she faced the Commander fully. She had not been expecting things to take such as serious turn. But then again she had never planned to end up waking in Cullen's bed in the first place.

"Cullen. You can tell me anything. " Evelyn replied, trying to give a reassuring smile as she spoke. She watched as surprise quickly appeared and then disappeared from Cullen's features. Had he not been expecting her to be so willing to listen? How little he knew of her if he thought she wouldn't give him her time.

A small smile tried to tug at the corner of his mouth as the Commander cleared his throat. "Right. Thank you." There was a moment of silence between them, the air thick of anticipation as Evelyn waited to hear what Cullen wanted to tell her. Her brain ran through a number of possibilities, some good, others bad. All of which were pushed from her mind as Cullen started to talk.

"I'm sure you already know that templars are granted their abilities through the lyrium they consume. But you might not know that lyrium also has the ability to control us. Those who become cut off from their supply of lyrium suffer. Some have been known to go mad. Others die." As Cullen spoke his gaze wandered away from Evelyn to stare across the room, as if his own words had stirred up memories which had taken that moment to play out once more. Hands folded in her lap, the Inquisitor had to fight the urge to throw herself across the bed and wrap her arms around the Commander's neck. She could not stand the expression which had taken hold of Cullen's face, a mixture of sadness and pain, which seemed to ripple out from his golden eyes.

Evelyn knew that look, had seen it on her own face upon waking from her nightmares. It was a look she tried desperately to hide from people, a look she would force from her face with a smile whenever she was in the company of others. The expression revealed too much, exposed the part of her which wasn't coping with what had become her life. She feared that if the others were to see, they would deem her unfit to lead, or even worse start to ask her what was wrong. For Cullen to allow her to see him as he currently was, looking defeated and hurt, said more to her about how he felt about their relationship then any words could.

"The templars here will not have to suffer such a fate. We have secured lyrium for their use but I'm not taking it." The words were forced from Cullen, his teeth grinding together as he finished his sentence. For a moment Evelyn wasn't sure she had heard the man correctly. He wasn't taking lyrium? But why? She had a good understanding of how the Templar Order functioned, knew the men and woman who served used lyrium to aid them in their duties as mage watchers. But to hear that Cullen had stopped taking the substance shocked her.

"What?" She asked, a part of her hoping that the Commander was about to correct her. He had just described what happened to those who did not take or were cut off from taking lyrium, and now he was saying he had purposely stopped. Shock was quick to be replaced with concern and fear as she replayed the man's words in her mind. 'Some go mad. Others die.' The Inquisitor's hands began to shake at the idea of death, of her nightmares coming true and her Commander being lost.

"I no longer take lyrium Inquisitor. I've haven't for months now, since I took on the position of military advisor." Realisation kicked Evelyn hard at Cullen's words. It explained so much. The pained expressions she had seen on his face, the times he had excused himself from proceedings without much warning. He had been silently battling with his addiction and she had been oblivious to it. She had been so caught up in her own problems that she had completely missed that other people were suffering as well. Who else was having troubles which she didn't know about?

For a moment Evelyn was unable to say anything. Cullen was watching her intently, chewing the bottom of his lip as he waited. She knew she needed to say something but she just couldn't form the words which were sitting on the tip of her tongue. The man she was slowly falling for had just opened up to her about something very troubling and all she could manage was to sit staring at him as if he had just admitted he wanted to become the next Divine.

Finally, after the silence had become awkward and Evelyn had debated the matter one too many times in her mind, she asked the question which just wouldn't go away. "Why Cullen? Why stop if you know the consequences?" Her voice quivered slightly as she spoke, the emotions which were building within her starting to leak out without her control. She watched as Cullen took a deep breath and bowed his head down slightly before he spoke.

"Kirkwall." Anger laced his tone as he spoke, his hand balling into a fist as he sat there. "I will not be a slave to the life I used to lead. I will not become..." He didn't finish his sentence. Evelyn didn't need him to. She had been told about the Commander's past by both himself and others in the Inquisition. He had endured more then most people she knew and yet he continued to fight for what he felt was right for Thedas.

Cullen had paled slightly since they had started talking. The Inquisitor wasn't sure if it was the effects of the lyrium withdrawal or the topic of their conversation. Finding a red templar amongst the dead last night would not have been a welcome sight for him to come across. The topic of red lyrium was a painful subject to bring up around the Commander, and Varric for that matter, the pair sharing in their history of Kirkwall. There was a small part of Evelyn that regretted bringing up the matter in the first place, but then again she wondered whether Cullen would have revealed his secret if she hadn't.

"I understand the consequences of my actions and I'm willing to endure this discomfort." She wasn't sure if he was trying to convince her or himself with that sentence. "Cassandra has agreed to watch me, to ensure that if I become a risk to anyone that I am removed from the picture. I will not let this jeopardise what we're trying to do. That I promise you." The Commander turned his head up so he was able to look the Inquisitor directly in the eyes. If she had been unsure about his conviction before, the look on Cullen's face now was enough to convince her otherwise. The determination in his eyes spoke volumes.

"Is there anything I can do?" Evelyn asked in a small voice, her hand having come to rest on Cullen's outstretched leg without her thinking about it.

"No. Only I can bear this burden." He spoke with a weak smile, what appeared to be pain flickering in his eyes for a moment before disappearing. Of course he would say something like that. He was most likely in agony, his body starved for what it has once had, yet he was still looking at her as if she was the only thing which mattered.

She felt like a fool as she sat looking across at Cullen. Here he was opening up to her about something deeply personal and yet she couldn't find the words to tell him her own problems. Instead all she could muster was an expression of gratitude for his honesty. "I'm glad you told me Cullen, thank you. I've got a lot of respect for what you're doing."

How could she not have respect for the man? Not only was he working himself to the bone for the Inquisition's army, but he was doing it while trying to break his addiction to lyrium. An addiction which had been forced upon him and which at one point had made up a large part of his life before joining the Inquisition. Their conversation had only proven to Evelyn that she still had much to learn when it came to being a good leader.

"Thank you Evelyn. If anything happens, if I can no longer put the Inquisition's army first, I will defer to Cassandra." The Commander said with a weak smile. She wasn't sure if she liked the idea of Cassandra having final say over what would happen to Cullen should he be unable to fight his addiction, but she knew it wasn't her place to interfere. The agreement had been made between the pair and she had to respect that.

The sound of banging on the Commander's office door was a sign that it was time for the conversation to end. Evelyn watched as Cullen climbed out of bed and make his way around to the side she was sat on. Leaning down, he used two fingers under her chin to carefully turn her face up towards his before taking her lips in a gentle kiss.

As they broke apart, the Inquisitor found herself staring straight into a set of warm golden eyes. A mixture of concern and something else sparkled within his orbs, doing strange things to her stomach as she sat there. She wanted more then anything to ignore whoever was at the door and drag the man back into bed to finish what they had started the night before. However she knew they couldn't. Sighing, she gave a small smile before motioning towards the opening which lead back down into the office.

"I'll tell you when it's safe to leave." Cullen whispered before turning from her and descending down the ladder. She hoped whoever had come knocking first thing in the morning wouldn't be around for long. She wasn't sure how long she would last sitting in silence with only her thoughts to occupy herself.


	9. Chapter 9

Warning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**

Cullen had to admit it was a relief to have told Evelyn about his lyrium problem. The matter had been weighing down on his mind for weeks, scared that she would discover his secret before he was able to tell her and ruin the relationship they had. Clearly his concerns had been for nothing. The Inquisitor had been more understanding of his problem then he had been anticipating, but maybe that had something to do with him expecting the worst in order to prepare himself.

Few in the Inquisition knew about his fight with lyrium and he wanted to keep it that way. If word got out that the Commander of the Inquisition's forces was unstable and battling withdrawal symptoms, it could spell the end of his time as Commander. Working with Evelyn and the others had given him a new purpose in life, one which he didn't want to lose any time soon. The Inquisitor especially was a reason worth battling through the effects of lyrium withdrawal for.

He still wasn't sure why he had found the woman in his bed late at night, but he thought better of questioning her on the matter. Clearly something had drawn her to his room while he had been away and whatever the reason, he hoped that she would tell him herself when the time was right. Pressing for an answer would only cause her to throw back up the walls he had slowly started to break down.

There were rumours about the Inquisitor which floated around Skyhold. Scouts and guards claiming to have heard screams coming from her quarters at night, only to be shooed away by the Inquisitor when they came to investigate. Those who went out on the road with Evelyn had spoken of her restlessness, her unease whenever it drew dark. Nobody had spoken to her about their concerns, seeing as nobody really knew if there was anything to be concerned about. Of course being the leader of the Inquisition was going to be stressful and maybe that was all it really was, stress. But something in the back of Cullen's mind told him it wasn't as simple as that.

The Evelyn he spent time with was nothing like the Evelyn people described. Around him she seemed to relax, the tension melting from her features whenever they spent time together. And as for the screaming in the night, Cullen had never once heard her crying out in her sleep when she was around him. In reality there was only one sort of scream he wanted to hear coming from the Inquisitor and the very thought caused his cheeks to turn red.

His mind conjured images of their night together before he had embarrassed himself by falling asleep. Her tousled red hair falling about her shoulders, her eyes swimming with longing as she had looked down on him from her position straddling his waist. Cullen knew he should have tried harder to stay awake but the call of sleep had been too strong for him to ignore and by morning the moment had been ruined.

As he had been doing for the last few days, the Commander pushed the provocative thoughts from his mind and tried to wrestle himself back in control. His facade of a professional former templar who had control over his thoughts and desires was slipping with every moment he allowed his mind to wander. This was not the time or place to be getting aroused at the thought of the Inquisitor and what he wanted to be doing.

"Where has she got to?" Josephine asked as she looked up from her papers. A message had gone round calling for a war council meeting that afternoon, yet the person who had called the meeting was no where to be seen.

"I'm sure she's just been held up somewhere." Cullen said in a small voice, rubbing at the back of his neck as he was pulled out of his head and back into the reality of where he was. It wasn't like Evelyn to miss her own war council meetings and her lack of presence was causing concern to start to build in the Commander's stomach. Josephine, while normally good natured and patient, was starting to get restless, most likely worrying over the important visitors of the keep who needed or wanted her attention.

Their Spymaster paced the length of the wooden table which made up the centre piece of the room, her arms folded over her chest as she looked between the other two advisors. Leliana probably had a whole host of things she wanted to be getting on with instead of standing around waiting for their leader to arrive. As of late the woman had been receiving some interesting and helpful information from their scouts across Thedas and time wasted waiting for Evelyn to turn up was time lost tracking down where Corypheus was currently hiding.

"It is not like our Inquisitor to keep us waiting." Leliana spoke in a quizzical tone, her eyes set on the Commander as she stopped her pacing. Cullen was convinced the woman knew more about his relationship with Evelyn then he wanted, but he knew better then to say anything. She was their Spymaster for a reason, with nothing staying secret for long once she caught wind of it.

Clearing his throat, Cullen looked across at the Ambassador for a moment before returning his attention to the Spymaster. Both women were now eyeing him with suspicion, as if he was to blame for Evelyn's lack of appearance. Colour flooded the Commander's cheeks, something which he tried to hide by bending down to look at the map spread across the table. The weight of their attention pushed down heavily on him, causing Cullen to shift uncomfortable in his spot.

"I'll go look for her." The Commander said suddenly, no longer able to take the eyes at his back. Relief washed over the Ambassador's face as she turned her attention down to her papers for a moment, giving a polite smile as she brought her eyes back up to Cullen before returning her quill to it's ink pot.

"I'll be at my desk if you need me." There was no hiding the smirk which was beginning to spread across her lips as Josephine made her exit from the room. Leliana raised an eyebrow at the Commander but said nothing as she turned towards the door to leave. He hated how the pair seemed to know exactly what to do to make him cave, but then again the pair had been playing the Game long enough to know all the right moves to make to throw a situation in their favour.

"Try not to get distracted Commander." Leliana threw over her shoulder as she walked out of the door, not stopping to watch the way Cullen's jaw dropped at her words. Taking a deep breath, he tried not to think too much on the Spymaster's words as he marched out of the room.

After checking in her quarters, out in the courtyards and in Skyhold's tavern, Cullen concluded that Evelyn was not hiding in one of her usually places. No one seemed to know where the Inquisition's leader had disappeared to, not even her companions. Solas had just shaken his head before returning to his books, Sera has given an answer which didn't make any sense and Cassandra had offered to help Cullen in his search, an offer he had kindly declined.

Not knowing what else to do, Cullen picked a random direction and started walking. Skyhold was filled with many rooms and corridors which were less frequented then others, most filled with rumble and unusable without extensive work, and he was sure he would find the Inquisitor hiding away somewhere in the keep. Heading down a flight of stairs, the Commander stopped as he entered an open underground room with two grand paintings hanging on either end. He knew that one of doors led to the keep's kitchens, while another was a storage room. But the third door was an unknown to him.

As Cullen pushed open the mystery door, the sound of snoring drifted out of the opening. Poking his head inside, the first thing which struck him was how dark the room was. The flickering of a candle was all that illuminated the room, casting dark shadows across the walls and floor. Pulling the door open fully, the Commander was glad to find that he had finally discovered the hiding place of the Inquisitor.

Evelyn was curled up in a large wooden chair at the other end of a short passage, a book balancing on her chest as she slept. The cobweb filled room was lined with bookcases on every available wall, filled with tomes both new and old. Stepping in, the Commander did his best to keep quiet as he closed the distance between them, not wanting to disturb the sleeping Inquisitor.

As he drew close he was able to get a better look at Evelyn while she slept. Even in the dim light he was able to see the dark marks around her eyes, could tell that her skin was ghostly pale. When he had first met the woman her skin had held a warm glow, her eyes hadn't been marred by dark circles. He knew that leading the Inquisition wasn't easy, understood the stress of trying to lead an ever growing group of people against a monster attempting to become a god. He just hadn't realised how much of an impact it was having on Evelyn.

Without really thinking he reached out a hand to ran his gloved fingers over her cheek, his breath hitching slightly as he watched the way she leaned into his touch. He had spent so long looking at the woman from afar that it caught him off-guard to be able to touch her like he was. For a long time, Cullen had resigned himself to the idea that he was never going to get the girl he dreamed of. While there had been no rules against relations with others, life as a templar had always found a way of stealing the possibility of finding someone away from him.

Now, in the middle of a war with an ancient darkspawn and his red templar army, he had found someone he longed for, someone who it seemed held similar feelings. A small whimper left the slightly parted lips of the Inquisitor as she shifted in her spot. Cullen tried to give a reassuring coo to the uneasy woman, but it didn't seem to reach her. Her head thrashed from side to side, fingers digging into the book resting against her chest. The Commander had never seen Evelyn so restless before and he wondered whether this was what other people had witnessed.

Green eyes suddenly shot open, quickly scanning the room before coming to stop on the Commander. Evelyn took in deep breaths as she looked up at Cullen, slowly coming out of whatever dream she had been caught in. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, only held back by the Inquisitor blinking rapidly in order to regain control.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a whisper, her eyes roaming over the Commander's face as she looked up at him. Clearly she had not been expecting anyone to find her hidden away in what appeared to be her own private library. Whether it was because she didn't want anyone finding her secret room or because she didn't want anyone seeing her in her current state, Cullen wasn't sure. The question sat on the tip of his tongue for a moment before he thought better of it, instead focusing on answering her question first.

"The war council meeting? The one you asked us all to attend this afternoon?" Cullen said slowly, watching the way confusion quickly gave way to realization and then panic.

"Maker's breath." Evelyn muttered, pulling herself up and out of the chair in one shift movement. The book which had been balancing on her chest tumbled to the ground, a puff of dust raising out of the tome as it made contact with the stone floor. The Inquisitor stared down at the item at her feet, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she knelt down to retrieve the volume.

The Commander couldn't help smiling at her reaction, not used to see the Inquisitor flustered about something as small as a missed council meeting. He tried to push away the unease he felt at seeing Evelyn distressed, wanting more then anything to pull her close and tell her everything would be alright. But he knew better then to do it. She was his Inquisitor and if there was problem he knew she would tell him eventually. She just had to get past her stubborn side in order to do it.

"I'll go get Josephine and Lelianna if you like. We'll meet you in the war council chamber." Cullen suggested, watching the way the tension eased from Evelyn's features at his words. A deep sigh was released by the woman as her eyes returned to his face, the hint of a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. She gave a small nod in reply before turning her back to return the book she was holding to it's place on the shelves. There would be later time to ask her about the private library and her whimpering in her sleep. For now they had plans to draw up, noble problems to resolve and a potential lead on where the red templars were coming from to discuss.

* * *

Evelyn was not a fan of the Emerald Graves. If they weren't trying to fight off a giant bear, they were being attacked by the Freemen. Scout Harding had secured them a decent forward camp, tucked away from the nasty wildlife and occupants of the sprawling forest, but there was nothing which could be done to make traversing the terrain any easier.

Getting to the top of a particularly different hill, the Inquisitor took a moment to catch her breath as she waited for her companions to join her. When she had told Varric she was heading out in search of red lyrium smugglers in the Graves, after being pointed in that direction by Cullen in search of information, he had signed up to come along without hesitation. The dwarf still blamed himself for the corrupted lyrium making it to the surface and she was pretty sure that if he had his way, he would make it his personal and lifelong mission to get rid of every last scrap of the stuff in Thedas.

Dorian had agreed to come along on the little adventure when talk of possible Venatori sightings near the ruins of Din'an Hanin had came up. Iron Bull rounded off their party of 4, the Qunari strangely unwilling to let the Tevinter mage out of his sight. Evelyn was sure the pair were no longer just flirting with each other, but didn't want to stick her nose into their relationship. She knew they would only do the same to her if she did.

Her discussion with Cullen regarding the red templars had revealed that a former templar by the name of Samson had become the chief lieutenant to Corypheus. The Commander had admitted that he knew the man from the Circle, his dislike for what the man was now doing with his life clear on his face. While they didn't have any clear leads, Cullen had leads on where they could get those leads. Said leads were why she had got together her companions and headed out to the Graves.

Since setting out from Skyhold, the Inquisitor had been unable to get a decent night sleep. The red templar threat loomed at the forefront of her mind, bringing with it the usual persistent night terrors she was struggling to endure. Currently she was functioning on two days without any proper sleep, having been relying on a series of strong potions to keep herself awake instead of risking prolonged slumber. Opening up a leather pouch on her belt, she rummaged inside to see if she had any vials of the concoction remaining but found nothing.

Giving a deep sigh, Evelyn closed up the bag and turned her attention back out onto the Graves. She could feel her concentration slipping, her eyes becoming unwilling to focus on the landscape around her. She knew she needed to get some sleep, could feel the itch to curl up into a ball and rest growing in the pit of her stomach, but she wanted to finish the job they had started first.

From the information Cullen had been able to gather, the red templars were using trade routes through the Emerald Graves to smuggle lyrium. So far they had intercepted two caravans attempting to make the trip through the forest, finding some interesting sets of instructions on the smugglers. They were starting to build up a picture of where the red lyrium was coming from and where it was going.

Just like Varric, Cullen was very keen to find a solution to the red lyrium problem and in particular the red templars who had been born because of it. His experience of red lyrium in Kirkwall had given him a front row seat to the impact the substance had on people and Evelyn hoped if they could stop those responsible for the red templars, a weight would be lifted from her Commander.

She could no longer deny to herself that Cullen had become a major part of her life and without him around she was beginning to struggle. Something about the man smoothed her troubled mind and flared her desires. Her family wouldn't have approved of her choice of man but then again they had no say in what she did. Cutting them off from the Inquisition had been partly to protect them and partly to protect herself. Getting them involved may have seemed like a good idea to the likes of Josephine but Evelyn knew that once they were involved in the smallest thing, they would want to be involved in everything. She didn't know if she had the strength to control the full force of her family once they sank their teeth into something.

The sooner they found out where the red lyrium was coming from, the sooner they could return to Skyhold. The Inquisitor had promised herself she wouldn't leave the Graves until she had evidence of a location which her advisors could follow up on. Once they returned she planned on climbing up the battlements to Cullen's office and falling asleep curled up in his chair, regardless of whether he wanted her there or not. The thought brought a smile to her face as she imagined the look on her Commander's face at the sight of her. She could tell he wanted her, had picked up on the signs, but he would still get embarrassed over the little things. It was adorable.

The whistle of an arrow flying through the air didn't register in the Inquisitor's mind until it had embedded itself into her shoulder. Staring at the item, she suddenly felt her heart beat thumping in her temples, a strange ringing sound filling her ears as her legs gave way underneath her. Crumpling down onto the ground, she caught sight of her companions as they seemed to move in slow motion. Iron Bull pulled his great-sword from his back and charged forwards, anger having filled his features. Varric loaded an arrow into Bianca and set his sights towards the direction the projectile had come from.

A shadow loomed over Evelyn, blocking her vision as she allowed herself to sink back onto the soft forest floor. "Cullen is going to kill us." Dorian yelled, planting his feet on either side of Evelyn's body as he threw up a protective barrier. She could feel the warmth of the Tevinter's magic pressing against her skin, distracting her from the pain which radiated from her shoulder.

"He'll do more then that if we don't bring her back in one piece." The Inquisitor heard Varric snap, his voice sounding strained and further away. Somewhere in the distance she could just make out the sound of metal slamming together, most likely the Bull bringing his weapon down on their attackers. "Maker's breath, what was she doing?"

"Maker knows. She's been acting strange ever since we arrived in the Graves." Dorian's words were followed by the sound of magic crackling around them, the flash of fire coming from the mage's staff filled the Inquisitor's view for a second before the spell was thrown forwards. She wanted to help her companions, knew as leader of the Inquisition that she should be fighting along side them, but her body refused to work.

The sleep she had been so desperately avoiding for days on end was wrapping around her mind, pulling her down into the darkness while she was unable to fight back. The sound of fighting had become faint to Evelyn's ears, the shouts of her friends no longer registering. She pondered for a moment how she had allowed herself to get into such a state, where she was so frightened of sleeping that she endangered everyone around her. It was a thought she didn't have time to answer as darkness consumed her.

* * *

Evelyn was jolted awake by a pair of strong arms picking her up from the ground. Cracking open an eye, she found herself looking up onto the scarred face of Iron Bull, his brow pulled into a frustrated knot as he looked down at her. The pain in her shoulder was barely a dull ache now and when she turned her head to look at where the arrow had hit, she found the item was no longer embedded in her skin.

"You're lucky they didn't dip their arrows in poison Boss." Iron Bull said in a low rumble, a half smile attempting to pull at his lips as he looked at her. A trail of dried blood ran down the side of the Qunari's face, disappearing over the edge of his cheekbone. She wanted to reach up and ran her fingers over the male's face but she barely had the energy to move her fingertips.

"She's lucky the arrow hit her shoulder and not somewhere else." Dorian chimed in from next to Iron Bull, the mage's face coming in to view for a moment as he pushed a strand of hair out of Evelyn's face. He tried to give a reassuring smile as he looked at the Inquisitor, but she caught the concern which played at the back of his eyes. Fiddling with what felt like a wrap of fabric which ran around her shoulder and under her arm, the Inquisitor felt the mage pull on the material to ensure it was tight before straightening up and out of sight.

Varric's chuckle reached her ears, coming from somewhere behind them. "I'm starting to think the woman is made out of luck, what with everything which has happened to her." The dwarf had made a similar comment before when they had spoken about what happened at the Conclave. Evelyn was starting to agree with the man. Either she had the best luck in the world, what with her still being alive after everything which had happened, or she had the worst. Currently it seemed to be falling on the side of worst.

Shifting ever so slightly in the Qunari's arms, the Inquisitor took a moment to stare about herself. They were still in the Graves, that much was clear from the green canopy above them, but she was pretty sure they were no longer on the crest of the hill she had taken them up. Judging by the fact that her three companions had just spoken to her, Evelyn had to assume they had been able to fight off the ambush without too much difficulty.

Dorian had seemed fine based on the glimpse she had got of his face and while Iron Bull was sporting a sizeable trail of blood on his face, the Qunari had fought worse enemies then a couple of red templars. They had slayed a dragon together after all. She was going to presume that because Varric had been laughing, he too had come out of the fight without too many injuries, although she knew the dwarf had a habit of trying to laugh off troubles instead of saying anything.

"I can walk Bull." Evelyn lied in strained voice, attempting to wriggle her way out of his arms without much luck. A rumbling laugh rose up out of his chest as she tried to move, a wide grin spreading across his lips before he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"You don't need to lie to me Boss. Just let me carry you." There was a hint of command to Bull's voice, telling her he wasn't going to argue with her about it. If she had been in a better state with more strength she would have put up more of a fight, but as things were she didn't have the energy to fight off anything, let along the towering mass of Iron Bull.

No one else said anything as they moved through the forest, the Qunari keeping Evelyn close to his body as he walked. The Inquisitor found herself resting her head against the male's shoulder without much thought, one arm snaking it's way around his neck as the other rested lightly against his chest. Iron Bull was an extraordinary male. Cutting an imposing figure in any room he entered, thanks in joint parts to his staggering height, bulging muscles and impressive horns, Bull seemed naturally suited to commanding others. No matter where they went, eyes were always on them when Iron Bull was there. In any other situation Evelyn's own eyes might have been drawn, however her attention had already been caught by another commander.

While the pair seemed to command their men in similar ways, having gained their respect and therefore their loyalty, that was where their similarities stopped. The Qunari was brash and unashamed, while Commander Cullen was more reserved and unsure. The two were known for disagreeing on many things, mostly because Iron Bull liked to see Cullen embarrassed. And while Evelyn was pretty sure the Commander was not an inexperienced blushing recruit, he was no where close to the carefree attitude Bull seemed to have in regards to being intimate with someone.

Evelyn did look up to Bull in a way, admiring his ability to be unfazed by everything which was going on in Thedas (Unless it involved demons). At the same time, she struggled to throw off the the deep-rooted morals which had been drilled in to her as a child and enjoy life free from the constraints like the Qunari did. Granted she wasn't about to go down to the local tavern and take the first man she came across to bed, but there were times when she wished she could kick back and relax as he did.

It wasn't long before the the forest started to recede back and a strategically placed clearing came into view. Said clearing had been claimed by the Inquisition's forces to act as their opening to the Emerald Graves. Their arrival back at the forward camp caused a flurry of activity, with scouts and troops kicking into action at the sight of Iron Bull walking towards the tents with the Inquisitor in his arms. Dorian and Varric did what they could to divert attention, giving orders and making requests to keep the men and women busy, much to Evelyn's relief. She had returned to camp on many occasions battered and bruises but it normally came with an interesting story and good news, not being carried by a companion.

As Bull walked them through the camp, the Inquisitor locked eyes with the woman who had helped to establish their foothold in the region and who could be relied upon to give valuable insight into the lay of the land whenever they ventured out. Harding had been stood talking to one of troops when they had made their entrance, but she was quick to shoo the man away as they drew close. Without saying a word, she moved towards the tent Iron Bull was heading towards, an unsure smile playing at the corner of her mouth as she looked up at Evelyn.

Scout Harding held open the cloth entrance to the tent, following after Bull once he had cleared the opening. The Qunari carefully set Evelyn down on one of the cots which has been set up, being gentle not to bash her shoulder as he removed his arms from around her. He wasn't able to stand up properly due to his height and therefore stayed in a hunched over position to talk to the dwarf.

"Arrow to the shoulder. Varric was able to get it out and Dorian did what he could, but she needs it binding." Iron Bull spoke in a low rumble, pushing Evelyn back down onto the cot when she tried to sit up. "And don't get up. You need to rest." His attention snapped around to the Inquisitor, his eyes narrowing as he watched her try to push away his large hand.

Harding nodded her understanding before disappearing out of the tent, leaving the two to silently stare at each other. Evelyn knew he was only doing it because he cared, but that didn't make it any easier to take his orders. She didn't want to appear weak in front of her companion, yet in her current state she could do nothing but appear weak. Any energy she had recovered by being carried back to camp by the Qunari had slipped away now she was laying down.

They didn't have to wait long for the dwarf to return, her arms filled with various supplies for sorting out Evelyn's shoulder. While a healer would have been able to have her fixed up in no time, Harding's scouting party did not contain a mage with the required training. Until they were able to return to Skyhold to have the injury seen too, they would have to resort to good old bandages and elfroot to speed up the healing process and numb the pain.

"I'll go see what Varric and Dorian are up to." Bull said after a few moments, giving a final stern look to Evelyn before leaving the tent. With the Qunari out of the way, Harding was able to move around the cot to stand on the side of the Inquisitor with the damaged shoulder, setting down a couple of items on a wooden box which had been positioned between the cots as a makeshift table.

"Lets see how bad it is then Inquisitor." The dwarf spoke with a slight smile on her lips, her hands working carefully to undo the makeshift bandage Dorian had fastened in place before working on Evelyn's leather armour. Once the straps and ties had been undone, the dwarf helped her into a sitting position to be able to remove the item easily. Her normally cream coloured under-shirt was stained red, blood running from her shoulder down the length of her sleeve. The arrow might not have been poisoned but it had still done it's job of causing damage.

Giving a whistle, Harding studied the wound on Evelyn's shoulder before helping her to strip out of the shirt. Her fingertips were cold against her skin as she inspected the damage, looking up at the Inquisitor as she removed her hands. "I may not be healer but I'd say you'll be fine. I'll clean the wound, apply some elfroot then bind it up. Should do the job until you get back to Skyhold."

The dwarf filled a bowl with water from a pouch and proceeded to soak a cloth in the liquid. Evelyn braced herself slightly as she watched Harding wring the cloth out before running it over her shoulder. While the pain had dulled slightly on the journey back, it flared back up worse then ever as the woman worked to clean the wound. Gritting her teeth, the Inquisitor did her best to hold herself still as she worked, releasing a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding when the dwarf announced she was done.

Next came the elfroot. A startled hiss slipped from the Inquisitor mouth as Harding applied a generous amount of the plant's juice to her shoulder, her wound burning until the pain was numbed by the plant's healing properties. Once she was satisfied the wound had enough elfroot on it, the dwarf worked on binding Evelyn's shoulder with bandages. Between them, they were able to wrap her shoulder without too much difficult, running the fabric around her shoulder, part way down her arm and around her chest to ensure it stayed in place.

"Thank you Harding." Evelyn said once she was sure the woman was finished, dropping back down onto the cot with a slight wince. She found that once her head had touched the pillow, her eyes began to grow heavy. The lull of sleep threatened to pull her straight under if she didn't keep fighting it and she could see Harding wanted to say something. The concern which had played across the scout's eyes earlier had returned as they looked at each other.

"Inquisitor, if I may, is everything alright?" There was a nervous undertone to the scout's voice, her eyes falling to Evelyn's shoulder before returning to her face. For a moment she considered telling the dwarf everything, her nightmares, her fears, the things which invaded her mind and stopped her from sleeping at night. She considered it but then thought better of it. Harding was a scout for the Inquisition and fell under the command of Leliana. If she said anything to the woman, she was pretty sure it would find it's way back to the Spymaster in the end and this wasn't something she was ready for Leliana to know.

"I'll be fine. Could have been worse, right?" The Inquisitor tried to force a smile onto her face as she spoke, hoping the dwarf would read the subtle hint in her tone and leave the subject at that. She watched as the scout seemed to have an internal debate about the matter, her brow knotting slightly as she studied the Inquisition's leader, before giving a slight bow of her head in defeat.

Without saying another word, Harding gathered up the supplies she had used to patch up Evelyn and made an exit from the tent. Sighing deeply, the Inquisitor gave in to her body's desire and let her eyes sink closed. She no longer had the energy to fight the inevitable, her body drained from days without sleep, and allowed the strong arms of sleep to pull her under. She would worry about the world and everything going on in it later.


	10. Chapter 10

Warning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

 _Evelyn looked up at the burning ruin of Haven and knew she was in another one of her nightmares. There were no red templars storming through the streets this time, no screaming refugees running for their lives towards the only safe building the once peaceful town still had. But she still knew it was a nightmare. The roar of_ _Corypheus's beast as it circled overhead reached the Inquisitor's ears, but every time she looked up to find it, there was nothing to the seen in the dark sky, apart from stars and the green tint in place of where the breach had once been._

 _Tentatively she took a step forwards, afraid of what she would find in this deserted version of Haven. A building to her right had all but burnt to the ground now, it's blackened shell marking the spot where it had once stood. She hoped that anyone who had been inside the building before the start of the attack had been able to make it out in time, but she didn't hold her breath. Corypheus's army of red templars had been swift in their attack on Haven, cutting down all who stood in their way._

 _As she moved through the desolation the Inquisitor began to notice that all was not right with this version of Haven. Normally she would recount her steps of the battle, from the battlefield outside of the town's walls to the holy Chantry building nestled at the back. On her way she usually saw soldiers fighting, people fleeing for their lives and sometimes those who had not been able to get away in time. However, as she walked through the scarred streets, she saw no evidence of anyone._

 _This image of Haven was oddly void of any sort of life. No villagers, no soldiers, no fallen red templars. There were no survivors amongst the ruins and no bodies. A shudder worked it's way down her spine as she turned in circles, knowing what she should have been seeing but wasn't. Taking a deep breath she fought the feeling of panic which was starting to bubble in her stomach, tried to tell herself over and over that it was just a dream as she studied the landscape around her._

 _No longer able to stand the sight, Evelyn picked up her pace and jogged towards the only building that looked like it hadn't sustained any damage, hoping she would find signs of someone inside. Pushing open the large wooden doors, Evelyn was greeted by an empty room as she stepped into the Chantry. She told herself that those who had been lucky enough to make it inside had been able to escape through the passage which lead out of Haven and through the mountains. She knew that in real life that was what they had been able to do. But said knowledge did nothing to calm her nerves._

 _The rooms which led off from the main hall of the Chantry were also void of any life. Josephine's makeshift office was set up just as she had left it, her desk carefully arranged with neat piles of papers and candles to chase away the darkness. The beds in the sleeping quarters were still made up ready for that evening while the storage rooms were still carefully stocked with supplies. Evelyn had always assumed that once the red templars had taken over Haven, anything left by the Inquisition would have been ransacked for all it was worth._

 _Coming to a stop at the end of the hall, she found that her eyes were drawn to the door that lead to the room they had once used as a war council chamber. Unlike the other doors, this one was standing a jar with a faint light from inside creeping out of the gap. Shaking, Evelyn slowly reached out a hand and pushed against the wooden door, allowing it to gently swing open to reveal the room beyond._

 _Haunched over the table which had formerly held a map of Thedas and several markers, was the form of the Inquisition's military advisor Cullen. His head was bowed down towards the table, his fingers working on something which was hidden in the darkness his body cast. For a few moments he didn't seem to realise that anyone was in the room with him, his concentration completely captured by whatever he had in his hands._

 _Trying to move as quietly as possible, Evelyn took a few small steps inside the room. The sound of her foot crushing down on glass snapped the Commander's head up, his eyes locking instantly on her as she froze in place._

 _Cullen looked terrible. His cheeks were hollowed, dark marks encircling his once glowing golden eyes, his hair wild and matted from where it looked like he wasn't taking care of himself. This was not the Commander that Evelyn knew. She had seen the man when he was tired, when he was worn out from practising all morning and when he had just woken up. But never had she seen him looking the way he currently did._

 _Looking down at the ground, the Inquisitor was quick to realise where the glass she had stepped on had come from. Empty vials littered the ground around Cullen's feet and across the war chamber's floor. Some were broken from where they had rolled off of the table after they had been discarded, others appeared to have survived the fall to roll across the stone floor. The Inquisitor knew what the vials were for, had seen them being used by mages and templars alike in the real world._

" _Lyrium?" Evelyn said in a whisper, her eyes scanning over the face of her Commander. There was a glint in his eyes of guilt, a flash of feeling which was quickly masked behind anger. He let go of what he had been working on in order to step around the table and towards her. Backing up, she found herself pressing against the now closed door to the room. She hadn't realised it had shut after she had entered, hadn't heard a sound while she had been looking at Cullen._

 _As the man drew closer, she was able to get a better look at him. His armour hung from his body, no longer looking like it fitted his form and most likely meaning he had lost a lot of weight. His skin was almost pale white, pulled taut over his features and making him seem almost ghostly in appearance. The Inquisitor could feel the panic she had tried to suppress rearing it's ugly head once more._

 _She wanted to run away, wake up, something to take her away from the nightmare. This was not how things were meant to be. Cullen escaped with everyone else, he didn't stay behind in Haven to consume their supplies of lyrium. She knew that and yet that was exactly what she was currently seeing. Evelyn knew it was all in her mind, but that did nothing to dampen the emotions which swirled within her._

" _Cullen it's me. It's Evelyn. The Inquisitor." Her words only brought a look of confusion to the man's face as he looked down at her. "It's the Herald." For some reason her former title did seem to register with the Commander. His eyes narrowed as he looked at her, before a cruel smile slowly spread across his lips. She had never seen him look this way before and she hoped never to see it in real life. This Cullen was not the man who soothed her nightmares and inflamed her desires._

" _Herald? He will be pleased." Cullen hissed out his words, a slight laugh catching the end of his sentence. Before she was able to react, one of the Commander's hands had wrapped around her neck, picking her up off of the ground as he applied pressure._

 _While on the surface he may have appeared weakened, it seemed he hadn't completely lost his strength to the lyrium he had consumed. As he tightened his grip on her neck, Evelyn saw dark spots in front of her eyes. Her lungs burned as they struggled to suck in air through her strangled windpipe. Kicking out her feet, she made a number of successfully strikes against Cullen's shins, but it didn't seem to have any impact on the man._

 _As her hands fought the Commander's in a desperate attempt to free herself, her eyes left their place on his face to scan the room behind his shoulder. While her vision was becoming hazy, she was just about able to make out what was growing red on the table. Cullen had been handling red lyrium before she had entered the room, the substance unmistakable against the dark brown wood of the table._

 _This really was a nightmare. The idea that Cullen would somehow become corrupted by red lyrium, even though she knew he was no longer taking the substance, was a worry which clearly had been eating at the back of her mind. She had seen the things red lyrium did to good men and women, saw the way it twisted them and changed them. The thought of losing what was slowly becoming her only source of light in the dark world which she currently navigated brought tears to her eyes._

 _Gasping, the Inquisitor forced herself to look back at the man in front of her. The golden orbs she so very much enjoyed looking at were no longer there, replaced instead by faded soulless eyes which held none of the warmth she had come to love._

 _As her vision began to fail, she realised that the figure who was cutting off her ability to breath was slowly morphing shape. Darkness encircled her view as she watched the way Cullen's face shifted and contorted until instead Corypheus stared back at Evelyn. His mouth was pulled into a vile grin as he watched her, the sight of her life slowly slipping away seeming to amuse him. While the world faded into darkness, the booming voice of the corrupted Magister rang through her mind, repeating a single word. Pretender._

* * *

The Inquisitor woke in a cold sweat, her whole body shaking as she slowly realised she was in the safety of Skyhold. The sun was raising high above the mountains, causing warm rays of light to fill her room and chase away the darkness of her dream. Taking a deep breath, Evelyn slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position. The memory of her nightmare began to slip from the front of her mind, taking with it some of the terror it had caused and allowing her heartbeat to return to a steady rate.

There was no longer any denying that she was struggling. The events in the Graves were proof enough of that without taking into account her worrying nightmares. Taking an arrow to the shoulder was one thing, but doing so because she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings due to a lack of sleep was another. There was no explaining away what her companions had seen as she had stood on the crest of the hill. The problem was she didn't know what to do. She feared that if people knew of the dreams that haunted her, she would be removed from her position.

It wasn't that she thought she was the only one who could lead the Inquisition. Many of her companions and advisors showed that they were more then capable of leading people, with some of them already doing so. The problem was, now that Evelyn was involved, she didn't want to not be involved. Her own family trait of sinking one's claws into something and not letting go was showing through at it's finest.

Giving a deep sigh, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and climbed out from under the heavy covers. The clothes she had fallen in to bed wearing, her blood stained under-shirt and leather breeches, were soaked in sweat. Peeling the garments from her body, she threw the offending items into an ever growing pile of clothes which needed cleaning before rummaging through her draws for something else to wear. Josephine would most likely want her to wear some of her finer items for the noble guests they currently had visiting, the woman having spent hours sorting through suitable items for the leader of the Inquisition to wear. Evelyn however opted for a clean royal blue shirt and matching breeches. At least she looked semi-smart.

Laying the items out on the bed, the Inquisitor took a moment to study herself in a mirror. Her hand came up to carefully touch around her neck, the memory of nightmare Cullen strangling her still raw in her mind. She knew the man would never do something like that. Knowing Cullen he was more likely to hurt himself before hurting others. But for some reason the thought didn't comfort her.

The Commander had told her he had stopped taking lyrium, and while she completely supported him in his mission to free himself from the chains the substance placed upon him, she couldn't help worrying. What would happen if he wasn't able to overcome his addiction? What if he somehow came into contact with red lyrium? The likelihood of it happening was small, but it was a nagging worry in her mind all the same.

Running her fingertips over the bandages which covered her shoulder and side, she was glad to see the fabric wasn't too badly stained. She knew she needed to see a healer soon to get the wound fixed, but before that she had something else to attend to.

She had returned to Skyhold the night before with Iron Bull, Varric and Dorian in tow. Returning under the cover of darkness had allowed them to slip back into the keep without too many people noticing, allowing Evelyn to avoid the questions she knew people would ask upon seeing her. They had been unable to find another shirt for the Inquisitor to wear and so she had been forced to don her bloodstained under-shirt in order to return to the keep with some dignity still in tact.

Leaving her horse with Iron Bull, the Inquisitor had made her way towards the battlements. The Commander would want to know what they had found in the Graves and while she might have wanted to scurry off to her quarters without seeing anyone, she had known that it would do no good for the Inquisition. Upon reaching his door, she had hesitated with her hand raised over the wood. How would he react seeing her battered up as she was? She hadn't been sure if she'd be able to deflect his questions once he set eyes on her.

Before she been able to make up her own mind, the door to Cullen's office has been pulled open. A guard had fallen over himself in his attempt to not crash straight into the Inquisitor stood waiting on the other side. After a few fumbled attempts at apologising, Evelyn had dismissed the man with a snap, just wanting to dump her findings and run.

Walking inside, she had taken the time to slowly close the door before turning around to face the Commander. He had been stood on the other side of his desk, arm resting on the hilt of his sword as he always did. His features had been filled with concern as he had assessed her, eyebrows knotted together as his eyes had ran over her. The Inquisitor hadn't been able to make eye contact with the man as she stood there, instead keeping her attention turned down to the papers she'd been holding.

Silence had filled the room as the pair had stood there. She wasn't sure if the silence was better or worse then being bombarded with a series of questions upon sight. She knew he wanted to ask what had happened, knew the question was just on the tip of his tongue by the multiple attempts he had made to string together a sentence, but something stopped him. Not able to take the muteness for very long, the Inquisitor had forced her feet into action and moved herself towards the Commander's desk.

As she had moved closer to him, she had heard the man sharply draw in breath as she had stepped into the light of his candles. Clearly she appeared worse then she had thought. Dropping the papers down onto the desk, Evelyn had dared to turn her eyes up on to Cullen's face for a moment but had regretted it instantly. His golden orbs had been fixed on her, worry clear in his eyes as he stood there. Her resolve had cracked slightly as she looked up at the man, the raw emotion he was projecting nearly being enough to make her crumble right there and then.

She had watched as Cullen had gone to reach out a hand towards her shoulder, hesitating slightly before dropping his arm back down. Her own hand had come up to ghost over the arrow wound, the injury throbbing slightly and causing her to groan in pain. A gloved hand had brushed over her cheek, with her natural reaction being to lean in to the touch. As their eyes had locked once more, she had known that she needed to leave.

As much as she was beginning to fall for the man, she really hadn't wanted him to see her as she had been looking that evening. Pulling out of his reach, she had taken a final look at the Commander before turning away from him and retreated towards the door to leave. "Goodnight Cullen." Evelyn had thrown the words over her shoulder as she made a quick exit out of the room, not stopping until she had reached the safety of her quarters.

Stood looking in the mirror as she currently was, she realised she had probably left the Commander with more questions then answers. Knowing there was no point in delaying the inevitable, Evelyn took a deep breath before stepping away from the mirror and grabbing up her clothes from the bed. Her plan of action was to see Cullen to go over what they had found in the Graves before finding one of Skyhold's healer to look at her shoulder. If they could pinpoint where the red lyrium was coming from they could look at stopping it and that was certainly more important to the Inquisitor then a wound she only had herself to blame for.

Getting dressed was a slight struggle. Through clenched teeth and hissed curses she was somehow able to get her shirt on and buttoned up. The breeches were a battle she able to win without using the Maker's name in-vain and after fighting with them for a few minutes, her boots were finally on and laced up. Taking another look in the mirror, the Inquisitor spent a few minutes fixing her hair into a more presentable style and washing her face after seeing the state she was in. While she might not have looked ready to meet guests, she did look alive enough to avoid any unwanted questions.

Cutting through the throne room, Evelyn made sure not to make eye contact with anyone as she walked. She could hear someone calling across the room for her, but she pretended not to hear them as she made her hasty retreat. Stepping out into the cool breeze of Skyhold's courtyards, the Inquisitor took the steps two at a time, wanting to put as much distance between herself and Skyhold's throne room as possible.

Upon reaching the bottom, the Inquisitor took a moment to survey the keep. The troops were busy training in the courtyard while a group of mages were helping to unload a supply cart which had arrived. Everyone was getting on with life as normal, or at least as normal as they could with the threat of Corypheus hanging over them all. As she stood considering where she would find the Inquisition's Commander hiding, one of Leliana's scouts walked by.

"Scout." The Inquisitor said sharper then she was expecting, forcing a smile onto her face to compensate for her tone. The man halted mid stride, looking towards Evelyn before saluting quickly. There was a look of panic on his features, most likely afraid of what the Inquisition's leader wanted with him. "Commander Cullen, have you seen him?" Evelyn asked, watching the way the scout shifted uncomfortable in front of her. She still hadn't got used to the way people acted around her, either in awe thanks to her title of Herald of Andastar or nervous due to her title of Inquisitor. Either response normally resulted in an awkward interaction for both parties involved.

"He went to see Seeker Pentaghast. I think they went to the armoury." The Scout said, their head shifting towards the building in question before turning back to the Inquisitor. Giving a slight nod of her head in thanks, Evelyn made her way across the courtyard, unconsciously playing with the bottom of her shirt as she walked. As she drew closer to the door to the armoury, the sound of people shouting from inside drifted to her ears. Curiosity got the better of her and instead of interrupting the exchange, she carefully laid her ear against the wood to better hear what was being said.

"You asked for my opinion and I've given it. Why would you expect it to change?" Cassandra snapped from somewhere inside the building. There was a note of anger to her tone, mixed with concern, which puzzled the Inquisitor. Who was the Seeker talking to and why was she both angry and concerned at them? It was an unusually combination to hear from the woman.

"I expect you to keep your word. It's relentless. I can't..." Cullen's voice was clear through the wooden door, his words strained as he yelled. Evelyn knew at once what the man was referring to, their conversation about his lyrium problem jumping to the front of her mind. She hadn't known the man was suffering with his addiction as badly as it sounded, the discomfort in his words a testament to his struggle.

"You give yourself too little credit." Replied Cassandra, a heavy sigh following her words. The sound of booted pacing drew closer to the door Evelyn was hidden behind, causing her to pull away from it suddenly in case whoever had walked over was about to make an exit. After a few moments, the person moved away again, their footsteps fading as they walked further into the armoury. Closing the gap once more, Evelyn pressed her ear up against the wood while her hand rested on the handle, not wanting to miss the exchange between the Commander and Seeker.

"If I'm unable to fulfil what vows I kept then nothing good has come of this." Cullen's voice was laced with anger. His resolve seemed to be crumbling, the side effects from trying to break his addiction to lyrium most likely worse then he had anticipated. If he was speaking with Cassandra about it, that must have meant that he thought he was no longer fit to serve as the Inquisition's Commander.

Pain flared through Evelyn's injured shoulder as she stood listening, catching her off guard and causing her to push down on the handle she was holding without realising. The door to the armoury swung open, her entrance going unnoticed for a moment as Cullen continued to talk.

"Would you rather save face then admit-" The Commander turned on the spot and cut himself off mid sentence when he locked eyes with the Inquisitor stood sheepishly in the doorway. The anger which had gripped his features faded quickly at the sight of her, instead being replaced with a look of shame. A sigh left his lips as Cullen took a look back at Cassandra before shaking his head and moving away from the Seeker.

"Forgive me." Cullen's words were a whisper as he walked past the Inquisitor, his eyes coming up for a moment to look at her before he turned them away once more. The pain in his features had been crystal clear even in the brief glance that she got, causing her chest to constrict slightly. She wanted more then anything to reach out to the man, anything to take away the pain in his eyes. But he was gone before she was able to react, leaving her watching his back as he walked out into the courtyard.

"And people say I'm stubborn. This is ridiculous." Cassandra muttered from her position over by the forge, arms folded over her chest as she looked at Evelyn. "Cullen told you that he's no longer taking lyrium?"

Evelyn turned to face the Seeker, her brain taking a few moments to register what the woman had asked before she was able to reply. "Yes and I respect his decision."

"As do I. Not that he's willing to listen." The Seeker relaxed her shoulders slightly, no longer looking as tense as when Evelyn has first entered the room. There was a wariness to her features, a look which implied that she had been arguing with Cullen for some time before the Inquisitor had interrupted.

"Cullen has asked that I recommend a replacement for him. I refused. It's not necessary. Besides, it would destroy him. He's come so far." Cassandra turned her eyes towards the roaring forge in front of her, the light from the flames casting golden rays over her face. There was a sadness to the Seeker which spoke volumes more then her words did. In the time they had spent together, the Inquisitor had come to know that Cassandra was far more compassionate then her outwards demeanour would imply, and she would bet that the woman was far more concerned about the man then she would admit to others.

"Why didn't he come to me?" Evelyn was pretty sure she already knew the answer to her question but had to ask all the same. Being the leader of the Inquisition meant she didn't have a lot of free time to spend at Skyhold, but that shouldn't have mattered. She thought that her relationship with Cullen would mean he would turn to her in his time of need, but then again she wasn't exactly doing the same in return.

"We had an agreement long before you joined us. As a Seeker I could evaluate the dangers. And he wouldn't want to... risk your disappointment." This was Cassandra's subtle way of saying that she knew what sort of relationship Cullen and Evelyn had, and knew what sort of man the Commander was. She couldn't think of much the man could do to incur her disappointment, but clearly Cullen thought he was letting the Inquisitor down.

"Is there anything we can do to change his mind?" Evelyn asked, feeling somewhat at a lose for what to do now. She wanted to help, she just wasn't sure if she was the right person for the job. She wasn't exactly a model example of someone dealing with their problems head on and the Commander had already gone to Cassandra over the matter.

"If anyone could, it's you." She raised her eyebrow slightly at Evelyn before continuing. "Mages have made their suffering known but templars never have. They are bound to the Order, mind and soul, with someone always holding their lyrium leash." There was a hint of displeasure in the Seeker's tone as she spoke. The Seekers of Truth acted to keep the power of the Templar Order in check, and the Inquisitor was sure that meant sometimes having to deal with templars cut off from their 'lyrium leash'.

"Cullen has a chance to break that leash, to prove to himself and anyone who would follow suit, that its possible. He can do this. I knew that when we met in Kirkwall." A smile had worked it's way on Cassandra's lips as she had been speaking, her respect for the Commander showing through. Evelyn was pretty sure she knew what the Seeker was going to say next, judging by the look which she was currently being levelled with. "Talk to him, decide if now is the time."

Cassandra took one final look at the Inquisitor before walking away from her, leaving her alone with the roaring forge and her own thoughts for company. She hated the idea of Cullen suffering, recalling the pained expression he had given her before leaving the armoury. She knew this was something Cullen had decided to do himself, something he needed to do for himself, but maybe Cassandra was right. He clearly wasn't convinced that he was able to continue as he was and maybe her input was needed in order to help the man realise his goal. Clearly that's what the Seeker thought anyway.

Her original reason for seeking out Cullen, to talk about her appearance the night before, had been well and truly thrown to one side. Now was not the time to be worrying him with her issues, not when he was so clearly struggling with his own. If she could convince him to stay then they would have time later to discuss her problems.

Taking a deep breath, Evelyn did her best to ignore the fear which pushed at the back of her mind and set her feet into motion. She didn't need to ask anyone where the Commander had gone, knowing him well enough to know he would have retreated to his own quarters. Climbing up the battlements, she found her pace falter slightly as she reached the top. Would he want to see her after she had interrupted his conversation with Cassandra? The man had seemed convinced that a replacement needed to be found to take over from him, otherwise he wouldn't have gone to the Seeker in the first place.

Standing outside the door to his quarters, the Inquisitor took a moment to swallow down her own emotions and put on her best neutral face. It wouldn't do either of them any good to go in pre-judging the situation beforehand. She needed to handle this sensitively otherwise she ran the risk of making everything worse and potentially losing the Commander, something she knew she wouldn't be able to deal with in her current situation. She had lost enough already and didn't need to be adding to her nightmares anytime soon.


	11. Chapter 11

wwwwwWarning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**

As Evelyn pushed open the door to Cullen's office, a wooden box came flying towards her while a frustrated cry filled the air. Her fighting instincts kicked in and the Inquisitor was able to pull herself back just in time to avoid the object and watch as it smashed against the door frame. Heart beating fanatically in her chest, she turned her eyes up to the person who had thrown the item.

Cullen stood over his desk, breathing heavily as he looked towards her. His eyes were filled with panic as he realised he had just thrown what appeared to be a heavily laden box towards the leader of the Inquisition. Evelyn wanted nothing more then to close the gap between them and pull the man into her arms, anything to soothe the pain which gripped his features. However she knew it wasn't what Cullen needed. For all they might have enjoyed being held in each others arms, it wouldn't help the battle the Commander appeared to be fighting and currently losing.

"Makers breath. I didn't hear you enter. I..." Cullen released a great sigh as he looked at the broken mess which lay at Evelyn's feet. The panic which had flooded his face before was quickly replaced with shame as he turned his eyes down and shook his head. "Forgive me".

Biting the inside of her mouth, Evelyn carefully considered what she was going to say. She could say there was nothing to forgive, but the line felt too clichéd. Instead she extended the same offer that she had received from her own companions yet had never had the courage to take up. "Cullen, if you need to talk..."

"You don't have-" Cullen's words were cut off as he stumbled mid stride towards her, his hand reaching out to steady himself on the desk. When she had seen him arguing with Cassandra, Cullen had seemed completely fine. But now in the privacy of his own quarters, his guard was slipping and he appeared to be suffering more then he was letting on. The glow from the candles used to light the room revealed the dark marks which had begun to form under the Commander's eyes. His skin was slightly paler then normal and his lips were cracked and dry, all signs she had failed to pick up on before.

"I never meant for this to interfere." He said in a low voice, his hand outstretched as a sign for her to keep her distance. Cullen might not have meant anything by the action other then a sign that he needed a little space, but Evelyn's mind didn't read it that way. She couldn't help feeling somewhat hurt that the Commander didn't want her close but she did her best not to let the emotion bleed onto her face.

"I believe you." She said, coming to stand in front of his desk in order to give him some space without being too far away if he was to stumble again. Evelyn knew the Commander would never do anything he felt would pose a risk to the Inquisition, having been there on a number of occasions when he had argued with Josephine and Leliana about the best course of action to take. He had told her once before that he wouldn't let his battle with lyrium affect the Inquisition and so far she hadn't seen anything other then today that implied that it was impacting anything. In the grand scheme of things, her own struggle seemed to be interfering far more then Cullen's.

"For whatever good it does. Promises mean nothing if I cannot keep them." Cullen scoffed, looking up at Evelyn for a moment before standing up straight, slowly taking his hand away from the edge of the desk. He seemed unsteady on his feet but the Inquisitor said nothing, watching the way the Commander's features pulled tight and his expression darkened.

"Have I ever told you what happened to the Ferelden's Circle?" He said suddenly, not waiting for the Inquisitor to answer his question before continuing. "It was taken over by abominations. The templars, my friends, were slaughtered." The Commander's words were filled with anger as he spoke, his eyes drifting from Evelyn to the room behind her before snapping back. She could tell he was recounting the event in his mind as he spoke, watched silently as his eyebrows pulled together and his attention trailed off as he recalled what had taken place. Turning from her, Cullen stepped away from the desk and towards one of the windows which looked out across the mountains surrounding them.

"I was tortured. They tried to break my mind and I... How can you be the same person after that?" Leaning against the stone wall, Cullen gave a nervous laugh as he looked out through the window. His hand was shaking as he brought it up to wave through the air before letting it drop back down to his side. Evelyn had known a little of the Commander's life before he had joined the Inquisition, but no one had ever gone into detail about what the man had experienced while serving in the Chantry Circles. It wasn't their place to and she respected them for that. This was something she needed to hear from Cullen himself.

"Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight Commander and for what... hmm? Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall's Circle fell. Innocent people died in the streets. Can't you see why I want nothing to do with that life?" The Commander turned to level the Inquisitor with cold eyes as he asked his question, his anger at his former Knight Commander's actions clear on his face.

"Of course I can, I-" Evelyn could see precisely why Cullen wanted nothing to do with his former life. He has seen so much, gone through some harrowing events and yet he was still trying to do right by the world after everything that had happened. She was sure that if their situations had been reversed, she would be doing the exact same thing. However the Commander wasn't really listening to her any more, cutting her off mid sentence.

"Don't! You should be questioning what I've done." He snapped sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose as he walked away from the window and towards Evelyn. "I thought this would be better. That I would regain some control over my life. But... These thoughts won't leave me." His voice was strained as he started pacing in front of her, no longer seeming to notice that she was there and instead just voicing the thoughts in his head. She didn't stop him or say anything in return to his comments, thinking it was best to let the man vent out his frustrations. He had kept his problems bottled up for too long, that much was clear.

"How many lives depend on our success? I swore myself to this cause. I will not give less to the Inquisition then I did the Chantry." The Commander paused for a moment as his anger intensified, his words no longer spoken but shouted. "I should be taking it." Cullen's emotions seemed to boil over as he suddenly slammed his fist into a bookcase, causing some of it's content to fell out and tumble onto the floor. The action seemed to relieve some of his temper as when he spoke next his voice had dripped back down in volume to almost a whisper. "I should be taking it."

Hands coming to rest on her hips, Evelyn took a moment to study the man in front of her. From what he had said, it was clear that the Commander's battle with lyrium addiction had brought back memories from his past which he would have preferred to have forgotten. Coupled with his continuing work as military advisor to the Inquisition and it was no wonder he was struggling. Yet to Evelyn it didn't really matter if Cullen was giving more now then he did as a templar. He needed to stop thinking about the Inquisition and start thinking about himself. "This doesn't have to be about the Inquisition. Is this what you want?"

Cullen gave a great sigh as he considered the Inquisitor's question, his eyes falling down to the ground as the tension eased from his shoulders. The anger which had built up within the man faded as he brought his attention back to Evelyn's face, his eyes having softened now as he looked at her. "No. But these memories have always haunted me."

Evelyn understood all too well what he meant, although she didn't think now was the right time to tell him so. Later they would talk about her problems, after he had worked through his own and she had built up the courage to talk openly with him about it.

"If they become worse, if I... if I cannot endure this..." His hand had slipped away from where it has been pressed against the bookcase after his outburst, falling limply to his side as anger was replaced by defeat. Cullen was starting to doubt himself, the fear that he would fail creeping into his eyes as he spoke. This was not helping his battle.

"You can." Evelyn tried to put as much conviction into her words as she could, closing the gap between them in order to cup Cullen's face in her hand. The man leaned in to her touch without hesitation, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she caressed his cheek with her thumb. Sighing, he slowly opened his eyes to look at the Inquisitor, some of the warmth returning to his golden orbs as he relaxed.

"Alright." The Commander said before pulling Evelyn into his arms, holding her tightly against his body as he buried his face in her hair. She had missed the feel of the hard planes of his body and armour pressed up against her own, unashamedly allowing herself to melt into his embrace. Turning her head up, she caught the affection in the man's eyes as he looked at her. Snaking her arms around his neck, she pulled the man down into a hungry kiss, smiling as he tightened his grip of her waist while he returned the action.

It was clear she wasn't the only one who had missed this, Cullen's kisses and grip on her body being testament to that. It wasn't either of their faults, their duties as leaders to the people of the Inquisition making it difficult to find spare time to be together. And as much as she might have wanted to spend more time with the man, she knew that as long as the threat of Corypheus and his red templar army still hung over Thedas there would be very little free time to spare. It was because of the never ending threat that they had to gasp hold of any moments they found alone together.

All her problems and worries seemed to fade away as she indulged in kissing her Commander. The stubble on his chin scratched her skin and his grip on her waist was a little tight, but she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. With each minute that passed, she could feel the tension release from Cullen, his body relaxing against her as she stole his attention with her mouth. He needed this after his outburst, something to take his mind off of the pain and anger he had felt before.

Evelyn found herself breathing heavily as they broke their kiss, her head swimming slightly. They spent a few more minutes stood in silence in each others arms, enjoying the moment while they could before the real world demanded their attention again. As much as she didn't want to, Evelyn knew they needed to return to work before someone came looking for them. She could tell by the look on Cullen's face that he was thinking the same thing, a note of sadness in his features as he looked at her. They would have to continue this at a different time.

"I never did ask why you came to the armoury earlier." The Commander asked as he slowly released the Inquisitor from his arms, taking a step back to take up his normal position of resting one arm on his sword hilt and his other hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He was trying to return to his usual professional self, but his unconscious action of touching his neck revealed that he wasn't quite there yet.

She wanted to talk to him about the red lyrium issue and why she had returned looking the way she had, but after everything that had just happened, she knew it could wait a little while longer. "Rest Cullen. We'll speak later." Evelyn planted a parting kiss on the Commander's lips before heading out of his quarters and into the cold air of Skyhold. Taking a deep breath of cool air, she thought it was about time to get her shoulder seen to, if only to avoid a talking to from Josephine when she saw the woman and take her mind off of what had just happened. Giving a parting look at the door to the Commander's office, she told herself that the man would be fine before walking off along the battlements to find the elven mage Solas. At least he wouldn't lecture her too much about her shoulder.

* * *

They had been riding for most of the day, and night was beginning to creep up on them, darkening the sky and making it difficult to navigate their path as they made their way towards the Shrine of Dumat. Cullen looked back at the squadron of soldiers he had gathered to accompany the Inquisitor and her companions, noting how tired they were beginning to look. It would be another day before they reached Samson's hideout and they could only hope the man had not caught wind of their plans and fled the place before they arrived.

They were getting close to putting a stop to the red templars once and for all, and the Commander was determined to see it through to the end. It boiled his blood to think his former friend had been making red lyrium out of people in the mines of Sharnia Quarry. He had known Samson was an addict but his actions were inexcusable now. He was thankful that Evelyn had been able to put a stop to the mining, the thought of what the people Samson had farmed must have gone through unsettled the Commander.

Through their combined efforts, they had been able to not only track down where Samson was hiding but also found a way to potentially stop him. The man was said to wear a set of armour crafted from red lyrium, and by enduring the agonising pain it caused him, the former templar had become 'fit' to be something called 'The Vessel'. The dwarvern arcanist Dagna believed that in order for Samson to be able to continue to wear the armour, something which was slowly consuming and killing him, someone must have been helping to maintain the item.

Reports brought back by scouts had served to drag up more of Cullen's past which he had hoped would stay where it belonged. Samson had a tranquil mage by the name of Maddox working with him to help maintain his armour. Maddox had once been a mage in the Kirkwall Circle who, after being made tranquil, had become skilled in the creation of magical items. It was because of Maddox that Samson had lost his place in the Templar Order, caught smuggling letters for the mage to his lover outside of the circle.

In order to maintain complex red lyrium crafted armour, a number of rare supplies and equipment were needed, and it was by tracing such items that Cullen had been able to pinpoint a single location where the items were going to. The Shrine of Dumat was an ancient Tevinter religious site which had once been dedicated to the worship of the Old God, Dumat. From what they had learnt, it seemed the site had now been converted to act as a hideaway for Samson and his red templars. They were going in, hoping to find Samson and if they could, find a way to destroy the armour which protected him.

Tracking down Samson and his red templars had given Cullen something to focus on when he wasn't carrying out his normal duties. Since his outburst to the Inquisitor, he had tried to keep himself busy in order to distract himself from the withdrawal symptoms he was suffering. When compared to other templars who had gone without lyrium, Cullen was doing surprisingly well. Many good men and women had lost their minds when cut off from their supply of lyrium, developing paranoia and become forgetful over time.

Evelyn had been to visit him a few times to check on him, her reassuring words and comforting presence helping when things began to flare up. He was still prone to fatigue if he didn't allow himself to rest, and his nights were still filled with nightmares of his past, but he was doing a lot better now. Admitting that deep down this was something he wanted to do had helped to lift some of the weight which had been on his shoulders. He had become so wrapped up in worry about the Inquisition and his ability to keep doing his job that he had lost sight of the real reason why he had decided to give up lyrium in the first place. This was something he wanted to do for himself, to break away from his past and be a better man.

He hadn't found a chance to find out what had happened to the Inquisitor in the Graves. After getting up to speed on the information she had recovered, plans had been quickly made to go to Sharnia Quarry, which saw Evelyn heading back out again as soon as she was able. Cullen knew something was going on that she wasn't telling him, but as much as he wanted to know what it was, he wouldn't push her on the matter. He cared too much for the woman to risk losing her by demanding to know.

A loud yawn from Iron Bull drew Cullen's attention. They couldn't keep going like this. Even the Qunari, who was always up for a good fight, had to rest at some point. Spurring his horse on, the Commander was quick to catch up with Evelyn as she lead their group across Thedas. Even in the fading light of the sun the Commander was able to see how tired the Inquisitor looked. She was struggling to keep her eyes open, and every now and again she would jolt upright before her shoulders slumped back down once more. They needed to set up camp for the night before someone fell from their horse due to lack of sleep.

"Inquisitor? If I may, let us stop for the night and make camp. The men have ridden all day, they are exhausted and they cannot face Samson like this." Cullen said as he drew his horse up alongside Evelyn. Slowing her hart a little, the Inquisitor took a moment to look back at the group following her. He knew that her stubborn side would want to continue until they reached the Shrine but they were in no fit state to do so and the closer they got to Samson, the more likely they were to run into red templars or the man himself. Cullen wanted his men rested and ready to face whatever they would find at Dumat.

"You're right. Let us find somewhere suitable to stop for the night." Evelyn replied after a while, giving the Commander a small smile before calling orders over her shoulder.

Away from the main road they had been travelling along they found a clearing in which to make camp. The soldiers got to work setting up some tents to sleep in, while Evelyn and her companions went off to find firewood and to check the perimeter. Once their overnight shelter was set up, Cullen ensured his men knew their routines for the night. He wanted people on guard at all times, if only to give others peace of mind as they slept.

By the time the Inquisitor returned to the camp, everything had been set up. The horses were settled for the night, the soldiers assigned to take the first watch were in position and someone had started a fire away from the tents with what wood they had found laying about. Cullen looked up from some reports he had been rereading in the light of the fire as Evelyn drew close, watching as she set down a stake of logs she had been holding in her arms.

The warm light of the roaring flames brushed over her face and for a moment the Commander was caught up in just how beautiful the woman was. Her red hair had fallen out of the plait she had set it in before they had left Skyhold, lose strands blowing in a slight breeze. Her eyes were set at half-mast as she nibbled at her bottom lip, something clearly on her mind as she stared at the flames before turning her attention on to him.

It took all of his self control to stay where he was seated on the ground. If they had been in private he wouldn't have shown as much restraint as he currently was, the desire she stirred in him burning through his veins. He couldn't help wondering if this was how she would look post-sex, dishevelled yet content as she looked up at him from her place tucked in to his side.

"Goodnight Cullen." Evelyn said in a small voice, giving him a little nod of her head before she turned from him and walked away. He would have preferred for her to stay, to join him by the fire for a while, but he could tell by the look in her eyes that she needed to sleep. Stopping for the night was as much for the soldiers as it was for the Inquisitor herself.

He watched her walk off and into a tent, turning back towards the fire once she had disappeared from sight. While he had been distracted, Varric, Dorian and Iron Bull had taken up places around the fire from him. It had been a while since he had last got a chance to spend time with the men. His busy days spent overseeing the Inquisition's forces and their mostly constant outings across Thedas with Evelyn meant they struggled to find time to sit down together and catch up.

Dorian could normally be relied upon for a good game of chess to fill an afternoon, while Iron Bull was always up for a practice fight against the former templar. Stories from Varric were a good way to pass the time, as long as they didn't involve Cullen as the central character. The dwarf was happy to spin a tale for the enjoyment of a willing audience, but like the Commander, there were some stories he stayed away from. There were certain things which had happened in Kirkwall which needed to stay in Kirkwall.

"So Cullen, have you finally bedded your red head?" Iron Bull asked suddenly, folding his arms over his chest. The Commander, who had raised a flask of water to his mouth, spat out the mouthful he had just taken, his eyes snapping to the Qunari in shock. Varric burst out laughing while Dorian rolled his eyes and elbowed Bull in the side, unable to hide the smirk which had spread across his lips. "What?"

"I don't know where you would get-" Cullen started, feeling his face turning red as he spoke. This had not been the sort of conversation he had been expecting when the men had joined him around the fire. He caught himself before he was able to rub at the back of his neck out of habit, knowing it would give away his embarrassment at the question.

"No need to lie Curly. We all know what's going on." Varric cut in, grinning from ear to ear as he watched the way Cullen shifted uncomfortable in his spot. He had known that his relationship with Evelyn was no secret to the people of Skyhold, but he hadn't thought many would take an interest after the gossip had originally gone around the keep.

"We're all seen the looks." Dorian chimed in, wriggling his eyebrows at the Commander from his place resting against Iron Bull. It wasn't the first time someone had commented on the way the Inquisitor and him seemed to look at each other. He knew exactly the looks the mage was referring to, although he had been hoping that he'd been getting better at hiding them. Clearly that wasn't the case.

"Even if I had 'bedded my red head' as you put it, I would not be sharing that information with you." The Commander said without really thinking, chin raised defiantly to try and regain some face in front of the men. Out of the corner of his eye he caught the way the dwarf and the mage exchanged look, communicating something between themselves without using words.

"For the love of the Maker, will you two just do it already!" Bull said suddenly, his booming voice catching the attention of everyone in the camp and drawing all eyes over to their little group. The Commander's face heated up further as he felt the eyes which fell on him. Dipping his head down, he tried to ignore the laughter he could hear coming from Varric, knowing how much the dwarf enjoyed seeing him embarrassed. He shouldn't have said that.

"Its not as simple as that." Cullen muttered under his breath, staring into the fire which roared in front of him. As much as he tried to act the gentleman around Evelyn, there were times when his desires got the better of him and all he wanted to do was drag the woman to his bed. Problem was he either couldn't find the right time to act upon those desires or when he did something always got in the way. If it wasn't people interrupting them, it was his own doing which ruined the moment.

Templars weren't forbidden from being with people, some even fell in love and got married while serving the Order. And the Commander had in his time fallen in to bed with people. But there had never been any feelings involved in those encounters. After the Circles of Ferelden and Kirkwall had fallen, Cullen had ruled out the idea of ever falling in love with someone. He had been scared of letting anyone get close in case he lost them, just like he had lost countless friends and colleagues.

And yet he hadn't been able to stop himself from developing feelings for the Inquisitor. She had stormed into his life and captured his attention as well as his heart without him realising just how smitten he'd become with her. The Inquisition had not been the place he had thought he would find someone he would care so much for, but with the way the world was at the moment, anything was possible.

"The Inquisitor hasn't exactly been acting normal lately." Dorian offered, giving the Commander a sympathetic look. These men had been around Evelyn more then he had, and so probably had a better idea of what the woman was going through. It made him jealous of just how much contact they had with the Inquisitor compared to him, but his duties as Commander to the Inquisition's forces allowed little time for adventures across the Hinterlands.

"What do you mean?" Cullen had read the report submitted by Scout Harding from the Graves and had seen the state the Inquisitor had been on her return, but neither had offered a full explanation as to what had happened. Harding had only mentioned in brief the injury to Evelyn's shoulder, with no explanation as to how she had sustained it. The Inquisitor had avoided questions posed by Josephine and Leliana, instead focusing on the information she had gathered on the red templars.

"She's been distant, distracted even. At first we thought you had something to do with it, but now I'm not so sure." Concern laced Varric's voice as he spoke, his crossbow set between his legs while he worked on the item. For all his laughing and joking, Varric cared for the members of the Inquisition. He had taken the young man Cole under his wing and finished the next book in a series he was writing which Cassandra loved.

"Someone needs to talk to her, find out what's going on." Cullen replied, thinking out loud more then anything. Just like he had opened up to the Inquisitor about his problems battling lyrium addiction, Evelyn needed to open up to someone about what was going on in her life. If she was able to talk to someone, get the weight of whatever was plaguing her off of her shoulders, then maybe she wouldn't be so distant and distracted. Maker knows it wouldn't do the Inquisition any good to have it's leader crumbling under some unknown pressure.

"You're right Commander. We'll leave this one to you then. Off you go." Dorian said with a smug smile on his lips, relaxing back against Iron Bull as the Qunari wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Bull nodded his head in agreement while Varric settled in to working the bow string of his crossbow.

"Me?! Now?!" Cullen looked between the three men sat around him, receiving grunts of confirmation from each of them. When he had said someone needed to talk to the Inquisitor, he hadn't been volunteering and especially not right at that moment.

"There's no time like the present Curly." Varric said, looking up from Bianca for a moment to peer over at Cullen. While there was a smile to the dwarf's lips, there was also a serious look in his eyes which the Commander picked up on. However much of a joke the men were making it out to be, they generally were concerned about Evelyn. Hidden behind smiles and laughter were concerned voices and worried eyes which were currently turned on him.

Giving a sigh, he pushed himself up from the ground and took a moment to brush himself down. The three men began a conversation about whether they thought Sera could seduce Josephine to join her for a night, with Varric arguing for her success and Dorian convinced she would fail. Seeing no way out of the situation he had got himself in, the Commander wandered towards the make-shift shelters. Pausing outside the entrance to the tent Evelyn had gone into, he could feel eyes watching him, waiting to see if he would go through with it or not. Clearing his throat, he straightened out his armour and brushed down the front of his breeches a few more times before finally giving up on stalling any longer.

"Inquisitor, do you have a moment?" Cullen called, hearing movement from within the tent and Evelyn's voice in a whisper as she cursed the Maker. He was worried he had woken her up, recalling how tried she had appeared on her horse. Just as he was thinking of turning away and telling the watching group that she was sleeping, he heard the Inquisitor's reply.

"Come in Cullen." The Inquisitor said from within the tent. Taking a deep breath, he tried to push down the butterflies he could feel in his stomach and hoped his face was not as red as it currently felt. Pulling aside the fabric, the Commander stepped inside and allowed the entrance to fall closed behind him. A lantern had been set up to provide light, letting him see the Inquisitor stood at one end of the tent, arms hugging her chest as she looked up at him. She was dressed in just her loose fitting under-shirt and undergarments, clearly settled to go to sleep.

"If I'm interrupting your sleep, please do say." Seeing her in a semi-undressed state was doing nothing to help keep his desires under control and a small part of him hoped she said he was disturbing her so he had a reason to leave. That small part of him was quick to be stamped out by the almost overwhelming urges stirring within him. A very poor gentleman he was turning out to be as he stood studying her.

"Don't be silly Cullen." Evelyn replied, shuffling uncomfortable as they stood across from each other. Not enjoying the awkward atmosphere developing between them, the Commander settled himself down onto the fur blankets which had been thrown onto the ground to create a make-shift sleeping area. The Inquisitor sat herself down next to him, knees pulled up to her chin.

"How are you holding up?" He asked after a while, looking across at the woman sat by his side. There was a long moment of silence as Evelyn stared down at her feet, rubbing her hands up and down her legs. He wasn't sure if it was a sign that she was cold or uncomfortable, but he did know of something which might help regardless of which one it was. Shrugging off his fur lined coat, he carefully laid the item around the Inquisitor's shoulders, smiling as he watched the way she snuggled into the fabric. She seemed to really like his clothes.

"There are good days and there are bad days." The Inquisitor said in a small voice, her fingers playing with the edge of his coat as she sat there. The material had pooled around her, and for a split second Cullen couldn't help imagining how the Inquisitor would look dressed in only his coat. He knew this was no time to be thinking such things, but being alone in a tent with a half undressed Evelyn was a temptation he was struggling to resist.

"I sometimes think about what happened in Haven and wonder if there was anything I could have done to stop the destruction." There was a sadness to her voice which the Commander understood all too well. The night Haven had fallen had been hard on all of them. It wasn't just the damage Corypheus had done to their numbers, but also the mental and emotional damage they had suffered. There had been times when he had thought about what happened and if they had done the right thing. From the sounds of it, Evelyn's thoughts on Haven were a more frequent affair.

"We all get days like that Evelyn." Cullen tried to reassure her, his hand finding her knee in the dim light and gripping gently. He was hoping she would elaborate on what she meant, explain a little more about what she thought, but silence only followed. It saddened him slightly that she wouldn't open up about what was going on, but he let the matter go.

"You know you can always talk to me about these things, right?" He offered, trying his best to ensure his tone sounded genuine. Others must have offered before to listen to the worries and concerns of the Inquisitor, but Cullen wanted Evelyn to know that he stood by his offer. Just as she was willing to help him through his internal battles and struggles, he would do the same for her. She meant too much to him, something which he wanted to admit but was afraid to do so.

"Yes...Thank you." Evelyn smiled ever so slightly as she settled her hand over the top of his gloved one, squeezing as she looked up at him. Even in the darkness of the tent he was able to make out her smiling face, her red hair hanging loose around her shoulders and eyes transfixed on him. He was unable to take his own eyes off of her as she bit into her bottom lip, the action stirring feelings in him that he could no longer ignore. Screw being a gentleman.


	12. Chapter 12

Warning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve**

Evelyn wasn't sure what she'd been expecting when the Commander had stepped into her tent. She had been trying in vain to fall to sleep, even if it was only for a few hours, but her mind hadn't wanted her too. Every time she had gone to close her eyes, pictures of Haven laying in ruin had appeared, reminding her of what awaited her in her dreams. It was one of the reasons why she hadn't wanted to stop until they had reached their destination. Her determination not to go to sleep had meant she hadn't noticed that other people around her still needed to rest.

Looking up at Cullen, she found herself getting caught up in the warm golden orbs which studied her and the question of why he had come to see her slipped away. The comforting smell of spices and the outdoors filled her nose and the Inquisitor found herself relaxing against the man at her side. She couldn't put her finger on precisely what it was about Cullen which soothed her troubled mind, but whatever it was, it made her want to hold him tightly and never let go.

As the silence grew between them, Evelyn found herself staring more and more at the Commander's lips. She knew it wasn't the most appropriate of times, what with her companions and Cullen's troops just on the other side of the tent walls, but that didn't do anything to dampen the desires which swirled with her. Biting into her bottom lip, she debated in her mind what to do. She didn't want to send the man away, yet at the same time she knew someone would have noticed him entering her tent, and neither of them needed the type of gossip it would generate.

Before she was able to open her mouth to say something either way, Cullen had removed his hand from under hers and in one swift movement pulled her into his lap so she sat straddling his waist. A muffled sound of surprise left the Inquisitor, her teeth biting into her lip to stop the noise from escaping too much. Looking down at the Commander, she found smouldering eyes staring back up at her. All concern about what people would say or think was thrown to the wind as their lips collided.

Gloved hands roamed under the fur lined coat and came to rest on her behind, while her own were caught up in his blonde locks. Their kisses were hungry, demanding even, with the Inquisitor pulled flush against his body. A groan threatened to bubble up as she instinctively ground herself against Cullen, the hardness which greeted her bringing a wicked smile to her lips. The Commander's tongue found an opening and swept into her mouth, dominating her and stealing away her breath. Maybe it was the thought of someone walking in at any moment or just the fact that they hadn't found any time to be alone for a while, but whatever it was, Evelyn couldn't deny that she liked this hungry side to Cullen.

She felt the coat, which had been wrapped around her shoulders, slip off and onto the floor, exposing her to the cool air which blew through the tent. It is hadn't of been for the warmth which radiated off of the man under her, she might have been bothered by the cold. But as it was it only served to heighten her senses to the Commander's touch. His hands had slowly made their way up onto her hips, dipping below her under-shirt and skimming across her skin. The feel of cold leather gloves caused her to jump, an uncontrollable startled sound leaving her and causing her to break their kiss suddenly.

Cullen was quick to remove his hands from the Inquisitor and pull off each of his gloves in turn, throwing the offending items somewhere over Evelyn's shoulder. Instead of his hands coming back to where they had been under her shirt, the Commander opted instead of work the buttons of the garment until the item fell open, revealing her unbound chest underneath. He took a moment to sit back slightly in order to take in the sight of her, his breathing heavy as he studied her. A blush made it's onto her cheeks as she sat under the scrutiny of Cullen, and she couldn't help but turn her face away in order to try and hide it.

Placing two fingers under her chin, Cullen titled her head up until she was looking straight at him. The look on his face told her more then words ever could, his eyes dipped with desire as he admired her. In that moment nothing else seemed to matter, their titles, their responsibilities, what was happening in the world outside of the tent. It all melted into the background as the Commander pulled her to him once more and planted subtle kisses on her lips.

His mouth forged a slow trail over her skin, starting at her lips and travelling down her neck and onto her chest. Arching her back slightly, Evelyn closed her eyes as she enjoyed the sensation of Cullen's hot breath and warm lips against her skin, sucking in a breath when his head dipped low and his tongue ran over one of her hard nipples. Her reaction must have pleased the Commander, as she felt him smile as he planted another kiss on her skin.

Somehow through the desire fuelled haze which clouded her mind, the Inquisitor remembered to try and contain the sounds she was making, biting into her bottom lip in an attempt to muffle her groans. The problem was she was finding it more and more difficult to think straight as Cullen worked his tongue over her delicate skin. What started as small swirls of the tongue, turned into nips and sucks at her taut nipples. After lavishing attention on one, the Commander switched to the other, giving it the same treatment as the Inquisitor squirmed against him.

As much as she was enjoying the Commander's caresses and kisses, Evelyn couldn't help wanting to touch the man in return. Her fingers itched to run against his skin, but when she brought her hands down to his chest, she found herself greeted with cold metal. He was still wearing his usual armour, a fact which caused her to frown. She needed to get him out of the items and quick.

Evelyn's fingers were shaking as she worked the first strap, struggling to focus her thoughts on the task at hand as Cullen's own fingers roamed across her skin. One of his hands snaked down between them, lightly brushing against her sensitive spot and distracting her. Huffing out her frustration at being unable to loosen Cullen's armour earned her a laugh from the male, who stopped his teasing long enough to undo the straps and shrug off his armour. His breastplate and pauldrons joined the gloves somewhere in the tent, their location of no concern to the Inquisitor.

Once he was free of his armour, Evelyn was able to do what she had wanted and ran her hands across his chest. He was still wearing his under-shirt, but she could feel the hard planes of muscle which were underneath. The Inquisitor knew what was hiding just under the fabric, having seen the Commander on many occasions sparring with recruits without his shirt on, but that didn't take away from the delight of finally getting to feel what she had longingly stared at for so long.

His hand had returned to between her legs, strokes slow and gentle to begin with, teasing her with his touch as he circled her with his fingertips. When he took his hand away for a moment, Evelyn couldn't help making a whining sound, eliciting a chuckle from the man. His proceeded to tease her in this manner for what felt like hours, building her up with his touch before taking it away from her. It caused her to wriggle upon his lap, an action which caused the Commander to give his own low groan of pleasure.

Before long she found herself rocking on the edge, so close to the release she wanted as the Commander picked up the pace. The combination of his mouth on her chest and his hand skilfully working between her legs was a heady mix, stealing away all other thoughts as her senses were overwhelmed, breathing shallow and heart racing within her chest. Unconsciously she continuously ground herself against Cullen, enjoying the friction and sound it caused the Commander to produce.

Burying her face into the crock of his neck, Evelyn did her best to hold in her groans as she gave in and allowed herself to tumble over. Eyes closed in ecstasy, Evelyn felt her body shudder as she rode out the ripples of pleasure which washed through her body, clinging to the Commander as she did. He removed his hand from her in order to wrap his arms around her and hold her close to his chest, pressing gentle kissing to her head as she slowly calmed within his arms.

It took a few minutes for her to return to reality, her body tingling and her eyes feeling heavy as she slowly turned her head up to look at Cullen. His hungry eyes roamed her face , his desire for her clear in his features as he looked at the Inquisitor. If it wasn't for the lure of sleep which pulled so heavily on her body, Evelyn would have continued. As it was, she was struggling to keep her eyes open as she looked at her Commander.

Biting in to her bottom lip to stop a yawn from escaping, Evelyn wriggled out of her position of straddling Cullen's waist and instead settled herself across his lap with her head resting against his chest. A light chuckle reached her ears as she wrapped her arms around the man's neck, eyes falling closed as she nuzzled against him. Sleep was quick to steal her away, a smile fixed to her lips as she drifted off. It seemed neither of them were very good at staying awake when in the heat of the moment.

* * *

Cullen was a mix of emotions. He was angry that Samson hadn't been at the Shrine of Dumat, saddened to find Maddox slowly dying, having scarified himself for the former templer, and happy that they had struck a blow to the red lyrium army through their actions. While the Commander had been hoping to find Samson so he could put a stop to him there and then, he wasn't going to let that take away from the victory they had achieved.

The fire set by the tranquil mage had destroyed almost everything within the shrine, but clearly the Maker had been on their side that day, as Maddox's tools had been mostly unharmed. The implements, which were used to safely work lyrium, had been brought back to Skyhold and given to Dagna to see if they could learn anything from them.

The dwarf had come running into his office a few days later, hoping to find the Inquisitor to show her what she had been able to create out of red lyrium and the tools they had recovered. A rune, capable of destroying Samson's armour and making the man powerless. When she had seen that Evelyn was no where to be seen her face had dropped. Not wanting the dwarf running around the keep with the only thing they had which could stop Corypheus's general, Cullen had taken the rune off of Dagna with the promise that when Evelyn came to see him next he would give it to her.

After briefly meeting with the other advisors upon their return from the Shrine of Dumat, the Commander had returned to his duties in order to catch up on what he had missed while he had been away. A number of reports had been placed on his desk, the troops needed checking up on and new volunteers to the Inquisition's army required his attention. Cassandra had been kind enough to stand in for him while he was away, but it felt good to get back to his work.

He hadn't seen the Inquisitor since their war council meeting, but he had known that was to be expected, especially when she had been greeted by a flustered Josephine with a stack of paperwork and a small group of nobles following after her. Their short time together while out on the road had only served to fuel his desire to spend more time with the woman, partly so he could find out more about what was bothering the Inquisitor and partly because he wanted to pick up where they had left things in the tent.

While Cullen was sure Evelyn hadn't meant it as such, it seemed only fitting that she had fallen to sleep on him as he had done to her. The affair had left him infuriatingly hard and with no way of being able to resolve the situation, save leaving the Inquisitor alone in her tent and heading off into the woods for some alone time. He had taken it as just punishment for his own actions the night he had come across Evelyn in his bed, laying with her in the warm furs of her tent until dawn had broken and they had rose to make their final push for the shrine.

Focusing on his work was one of the few ways Cullen had found to stop himself from fantasizing about that night constantly. He couldn't get the picture of the Inquisitor, bare chest, squirming in his lap as he teased between her legs, out of his head. If he didn't throw himself completely into his work, he would have spent his time hidden away in his quarters relieving his tension while replaying the event in his head.

Currently he was working through the reports which had been delivered in his absence, conscious that if he didn't he would soon have people at his door either with more or wanting to talk about ones he already had. Just as he was thinking such things there was a light knock on the door to his office, before it swung open. The Inquisitor stood on the other side, a bottle of wine in one hand and two cups in the other.

"There you are." Cullen said as he looked up from the report he had been reading, unable to help the smile which formed on his lips at the sight of Evelyn. In the privacy of his office he saw no point in trying to hide how he felt about the woman, knowing she would read through any facade he put up anyway.

"Were you waiting for me?" The Inquisitor teased, closing the door behind her and walking across the room until she was stood on the same side of the desk as him. Carefully moving a few books, she set the wine and cups down before sitting herself on the corner, looking up at Cullen once she had settled in her place.

"Yes. I mean, no." The Commander felt a light blush beginning to form on his cheeks, the old shyness of being around the Inquisitor rearing it's ugly head again. The woman caused him to become a strange mix of heady desire and bashful awkwardness, the two emotions liking to fight for dominance while Evelyn was in front of him.

"I can come back later, if you'd prefer." She cocked an eyebrow at the Commander, confusion flashing across her features as she studied him. This conversation was not going the way Cullen had wanted.

"No. Please stay." He hadn't meant his words to sound like a plea, however they did. He watched as a smile started to pull at the corner of Evelyn's mouth, before she gave him a small nod and settled more on the desk. Picking up the bottle of wine she had brought with her, she took a moment to read the label before pouring out one for each of them. Holding out a cup to Cullen, their hands brushed against each other as the Commander accepted the outstretched item. Silence filled the room as the pair stared at each other, before he shook his head and cleared his throat.

"The red lyrium deposits are being destroyed, and we've cut the red templars down to the core. You did it Inquisitor." Cullen raised his cup slightly as a small toast to Evelyn's hard work. Without her determination to stop the red templars and Corypheus, the Commander was pretty sure they wouldn't have achieved as much as they had.

"We did it Cullen." Evelyn corrected, smiling brightly as she brought her cup up to Cullen's and lightly tapped them together. It was good to see her smile, liking the way it caused her eyes to light up and chase away the tiredness he could see was shimmering at the surface.

"Well, I- Thank you." He couldn't help his cheeks reddening at her words, taking a deep drink of his wine to try and hide his face for a moment. It felt good to hear her use the word 'we', even if she hadn't meant it to mean just her and him. Others in the Inquisition had also been a great help in their quest to stop Samson. Thinking about those who had helped them, the Commander was reminded of the dwarf who had come to see him.

Opening up a draw in his desk, Cullen took out the rune he had been keeping safe and held it out to Evelyn. "Dagna brought me this." Accepting the item, the Inquisitor turned it over in her hands a few times to study the markings on the rune, before looking up at the Commander with a note of confusion to her features. "She was able to make it out of red lyrium and the tools we recovered. She believes it will be able to destroy Samson's armour."

"We'll cut Corypheus off from his most powerful officer." Evelyn spoke in a hushed tone, her hand tightening around the cup she was holding as she looked down into the liquid contained within it. The Inquisitor's hatred of the former magister was clear in her words, the smile disappearing from her face at the thought of the ancient darkspawn which plagued their life currently. Cullen couldn't blame her for her reaction, sharing in her feelings for the creature.

"Wherever he's hiding, we'll find him. And when we do, your army will be ready." The Commander reassured, squeezing one of Evelyn's knees as a gesture of comfort. While he might have gone into hiding now, the Inquisition was doing everything in it power to track Corypheus and his waning forces down. Some of Leliana's best scouts were out following whispers of where Samson and the others had fled to, hoping that following the former templer would lead them to their ultimate goal.

"Thank you Cullen." Evelyn replied, forcing her lips into a small smile as she looked at him. He could tell her smile wasn't real, but said nothing. Talk of Corypheus could dampen even the happiest of spirits.

They fell into silence once more, the Commander flicking through the papers which littered his desk while the Inquisitor drank her wine. It wasn't an awkward silence which filled the room, the pair used to spending time together without saying a word. Evelyn seemed to relax more when she was around Cullen, seemingly happy to just sit in his company while he worked. He wasn't about to ruin it with petty small talk. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as the sadness which had filled the Inquisitor's features at the talk of their enemy slowly faded as time passed, the combination of wine and silence most likely helping to ease her troubled mind.

Sorting through the paperwork, Cullen came across a letter he had received from his sister. He missed his siblings, more then he was willing to admit, but that didn't mean he was any good at staying in contact. His sister Mia had replied to a letter he had sent a while back, updating her on how he was doing, and he was yet to form a reply of his own. For some reason he couldn't remember, he had mentioned Evelyn in his last letter, and now his sibling wanted to know more. She always was one for prying. He would find time to write a proper letter for Mia later, but for now he scribbled a short passage on a piece of paper and left it at that.

Thinking about his family reminded him that he had been meaning to ask Evelyn something. Knowing there was no better time then the present, Cullen broke the silence. "We have some dealings in Ferelden. I was hoping you might accompany me. When you can spare the time, of course."

"Is something wrong?" Evelyn asked, worried eyes roaming over his face suddenly. His nervous tone must have come across wrong.

"What? No. I would rather explain there. If you wish to go." The thought of explaining his reasoning behind why he wanted to take the Inquisitor off across Ferelden caused him to feel nervous and embarrassed. Rubbing at the back of his neck, he watched as Evelyn gave him a puzzled look, the wheels clearly turning in her mind as she looked at the Commander.

"I believe there's time now." The Inquisitor's voice held an edge of doubt to it, possibly caused either by his crypt request or because there was every possibility that Evelyn could be called away on official Inquisition business at any moment.

Her words took the Commander by surprise. He hadn't been expecting her to accept his invitation so readily, if at all. "I will make the necessary arrangements." He said after a few moments of stunned silence. Pushing herself off of the table, the Inquisitor gathered up the half empty wine bottle and the two cups she had brought with her, before pressing a quick kiss to Cullen's cheek.

"I'll see you soon then." Evelyn looked up at Cullen for a moment before wandering across his office and out of the door, leaving him to stare at the space she had been occupying. Shaking his head, his mind took a few minutes to finally kick into gear, forgetting the report he had been working on as he turned his attention instead to sorting out their trip to Ferelden. He had so much work to do and so little time.

* * *

"Where are we?" Evelyn asked as she looked out across the lake in front of them. She might have travelled across Thedas almost every week for the Inquisition, but there was still parts of the map she had yet to uncover. This spot being one of them.

The ride from Skyhold hadn't been too long, but they had travelled a route she had never used before. Cullen hadn't said much about where they were going, offering to explain more once they got there. She wanted to know where the man was taking her, but didn't pry any more. It wasn't very often the Commander asked her to go places with him and she didn't want him changing his mind all of a sudden due to her questioning.

They had secured the horses a little way from the lake, the few soldiers they had brought with them staying behind while Cullen led Evelyn over to the water. At this distance they were far enough away not to be overheard but not too far that if there was trouble they would be isolated.

"You walk into danger every day. I wanted to take you away from that. If only for a moment." Cullen said, leaning against one of the posts which made up the jetty that stuck out into the lake. The realization that he hadn't brought her there for business slowly began to dawn on her as she looked between the water and the Commander. The moonlight illuminated one half of his face, revealing his scarred lips pulled into a smile as he stared out into the night.

"I grew up not far from here. This place was always quiet." He continued, folding his hands in front of him. She knew her Commander had hailed from Ferelden, he had told her that much before, but he had never mentioned a particular part of Ferelden. It was easy to see why the spot was quiet, being a little way from the nearby settlement and off the main road which ran through the country side.

"Did you come here often?" Evelyn found herself asking, taking up a spot across from Cullen against a different post. The peacefulness of the place relaxed the Inquisitor, allowing her to forget about the rest of Thedas for a little while as she enjoyed the scenery.

"I loved my siblings, but they were very loud. I would come here to clear my head. Of course, they always found me eventually." The smile which had formed on the Commander's lips widened as he spoke, clearly remembering his childhood days spent trying to escape his siblings for a little while. The Inquisitor knew what it was like to want to get away from the noise of one's family, her own being very similar. She had been able to retreat to another part of the house for a little while to avoid them, but it seemed Cullen hadn't had the luxury.

"You were happy here?" Judging by the smile which reached Cullen's golden orbs she assumed the space held fond memories for the man.

"I was. I still am." The Commander said as he turned his eyes onto the Inquisitor, letting them look her up and down for a moment before focusing on her face once more. Her heart beat quickened at his gaze, the desire she always felt when she was around the man bubbled up to the surface once more. Looking back for a moment, she was glad to see the troops had stayed with the horses as requested.

"While we're here you have me all to yourself." Evelyn teased, pushing away from the post and drawing closer to Cullen. Her fingers itched to touch him, the memory of their time together in her tent on their way to the Shrine of Dumat leaping to the front of her mind. The heated look she received from the Commander informed her the same thing may have been running through his mind and his words only served to confirm it.

"The thought may have crossed my mind." She was pretty sure a number of other thoughts had crossed the Commander mind, but she didn't say so. The things she was thinking of were better suited for a bedroom back at Skyhold, instead of outside by a lake in Ferleden. They stood in silence for a few moments, exchanging hungry looks with each other but neither closing the gap between them, until the Commander placed a hand into his pocket and his face softened somewhat.

"The last time I was here was the day I left for templar training. My brother gave me this." As Cullen spoke he pulled out a silver coin from the pocket of his breeches. The item looked a little worn, the pattern on the front having faded slightly with age, but it still shone when the moonlight hit it. "It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck." He regarded the item for a second before looking at Evelyn.

"Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through." She could tell by his tone that Cullen no longer believed the Order's teachings on faith being enough to see someone through. There had been too many occasions in his life when his faith would have been called into question, and it came as no surprise to her to hear his doubt.

"You broke the order's rules? I'm shocked." The Inquisitor feigned her surprise at finding out the Commander had broken the Order's regulations, her hand fluttering to her mouth for a moment before she giggled, ruining her act. She could tell the mood was shifting at the mention of the Order and she would do anything not to lose the happy man she had seen moments before.

"Until a year ago, I was very good at following them. Most of the time." Cullen retorted, unable to hide the grin from his face. While the Commander had been very good at his job as a templar, Evelyn was sure there was times when even he took to breaking the rules in order to do something. Then again, she wasn't exactly known for sticking to the rules herself, as a child or an adult. Sometimes she was lead astray by others, such as Sera, other times she only had herself to blame for her misbehaviour.

"This was the only thing I took from Ferelden that the templars didn't give me. Humour me." Cullen stepped away from the post he was standing against and crossed the small gap between them. Taking up her hand, he held it palm up before placing the silver coin within it. It was still warm from where it had been hidden in the Commander's pocket, bringing a small smile to her face as she looked between him and the coin. "We don't know what you'll face before the end. This can't hurt."

Varric had once commented that either the Inquisitor was guided by the hand of a higher power or she had the worse luck in all of Thedas. He had also pointed out that bad luck was Andraste's thing and just maybe it had become her thing too. A bit of good luck wasn't going to do her any harm. If anything, it might be just enough to balance out all the bad luck she was having lately.

"I'll keep it safe." Evelyn said as she closed her fingers around the coin, holding it against her chest for a moment before slipping the item into her breast pocket. The Commander smiled warmly at her action, gently grabbing her by the waist and pulling her close in order to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Good. I know it's foolish, but...I'm glad." As Cullen spoke, the Inquisitor brought her arms up to snake around his neck, nuzzling her face between the fur lining of his coat and his neck. She could feel his arms tighten around her middle as he pulled her flush against him, the warmth from his body washing over her as they embraced. Turning her face towards him, the Inquisitor noticed the affection which had filled Cullen's eyes as he looked at her and felt her stomach do an odd flip at the sight. What she wouldn't give to be looked at by the Commander like he currently was every day.

Before she was able to protest that they might get caught by one of the troops, the Commander had inclined his head and stolen her lips with a kiss. Unlike their night in the tent, this time he was slow and gentle, a soft caress of the lips which made her knees go weak. As they pulled away from each other for a moment to take a breath, the Inquisitor found her eyes drawn to the lake. She had missed this sort of peacefulness. Skyhold didn't have any places where one could escape to in order to get away from the pressures of leading the Inquisition. And even if there had been such a place, Evelyn knew that there was one thing she couldn't escape from no matter where she went. It was about time she took a leaf out of Cullen's book and did something about the problems in her life. She was starting to realise she had a whole lot more she could lose now if she failed.


	13. Chapter 13

Warning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen**

They left the horses a short distance from their destination and continued the rest of the way on foot. Evelyn could feel her heart racing in her chest the closer they got. A small voice in the back of her mind told her to turn away and flee, frightened of what she would find if she finally faced the place which haunted her dreams. But as she turned her head back to see how easy it would be to turn tail and run, she locked eyes with Cullen.

The Commander's golden orbs roamed her face for a moment before he gave a small smile. She could see the tension around his eyes and knew he wanted to say something, but didn't. They hadn't spoken much since leaving the lake, her sudden decision to saddle up and move on taking the man by surprise. Evelyn was pretty sure it wasn't how he had pictured the evening going, but once she had made up her mind she had to follow it through. If she didn't, she was convinced she wouldn't find the courage to face her demons again anytime soon.

She caught the familiar scent of Cullen in the breeze and took a moment to savour the comforting sensation which spread through her. The Commander was the only one she had told about her thoughts on Haven. Others in the Inquisition had asked her how she was holding up, being the leader of a large force trying desperately to stop a crazy former magister, and normally she gave a generic response which didn't reveal any of her true feelings. But around her military advisor she felt she could be honest. She might not have gone into any detail, but just being able to admit to the man that the place played on her mind was a big step for the Inquisitor.

Looking back ahead, Evelyn soon saw the former walls of Haven coming into view. She had been expecting to find the place littered with broken trebuchets and rubble, the evidence of that faithful night left laying where it had fallen, but she didn't. The snow covered grounds which had once made up the troop's tents and training grounds outside of Haven's walls were void of any sign of battle. It both surprised her and unnerved her. She wasn't sure why, but it did.

Taking a deep breath, she forced her feet forwards before she had a chance to change her mind. The remaining parts of the wall which had once surrounded Haven had been patched up, the stones put back to their rightful place. On the other hand the gate which they had once walked through was no more. Instead Evelyn walked slowly through the gap which remained, her heart beat becoming louder with each step she took.

Evelyn tried to recall the last time she had walked up the stone steps which had led into Haven which wasn't the night the red templars had attacked. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't conjure up any memory. She knew she had walked up the steps countless times on her return from the Hinterlands or the Storm Coast, but any mental images of doing just so were lost to the overwhelming picture of Haven burning to the ground because of Corypheus.

As they walked where the second set of steps which had led to the settlement's centre had once been, the Inquisitor noticed they were not the only ones there. While there was no longer any buildings in Haven, the avalanche she had set off most likely having crushed anything which hadn't been burnt down, that didn't seem to have stopped people from visiting the site. Eyes turned towards them as they grew closer, regarding the small group of soldiers for a moment before turning their attention away. Clearly no one was shocked to see members of the Inquisition at Haven. But then again why would they? They were not the first to come back to Haven. The Inquisitor had signed off on various operations herself which saw people return to the small village.

One evening, when she hadn't been able to find Iron Bull in his normal place in the Herald's Rest, Evelyn had spent some time talking to Krem. They had discussed many things that evening, from how Krem had come to join Iron Bull and the Chargers, to what had happened at Haven. He had suggested sending some of the Charges to their former settlement to find any gear which they had lost in the attack and bring in any refugees they found who had yet to make it to Skyhold. Along the way they would check for any enemy stragglers, but it wasn't high on the list of priorities for the outing. Evelyn had seen no reason to deny the request and so she had taken the notion to her next war council meeting.

Josephine, at hearing of the idea, had recommended speaking with their allies in Ferelden to help bring in any refugees the Charges found. The events at Haven had hit many people hard, and it seemed the Ambassador had been able to compile a large list of those who were willing to help the Inquisition. On their return, Krem had submitted a report of the outing to the Inquisitor, something she hadn't requested but was grateful for all the same. He reported what Evelyn had been expecting, that most of Haven had been destroyed, but also that they were able to recover some intact gear along with a few enemy corpses, which Krem believed could provide them with some information on what they were up against. It was also good to hear that, with the help of the Fereldan forces that Josephine had been able to arrange, they had been able to rescues a few refugees. There were farmers, skilled craftsmen and even soldiers. Krem had noted in his report that the refugees were eager to help the Inquisition, something which had brought a smile to her face. They needed all the help they could get.

The Chargers were the first, but not the last to return to Haven. Volunteers from the Inquisition's army had helped with the construction of a monument on the former site. Marquis DuRellion had been the one to come forward with the idea, writing to Josephine with a request to work together on the memorial to honour those who had lost their lives 'defending the faith', as he had put it. Cullen had suggested sending some of their own and the idea had paid off. DuRellion had been grateful for the help, noting that the sight of the Inquisition's soldiers had helped to raise people's spirits. The Inquisitor had always been curious to see the monument which had been built, but she hadn't thought she'd ever get the chance to.

Standing in the clearing which had once stood in the shadow of Haven's Chantry was the monument Evelyn had heard so much about. With the buildings that had made up Haven gone, the memorial to those villagers and soldiers who had lost their lives in the attack on the small town had become the focal point of the area. Flowers and other items had been laid at it's base, most likely brought by the pilgrims who still came to the site to remember those they had lost. The people who were there that day either stood in mournful silence or whispered prayers to the Maker.

Evelyn stood a little way from the monument, unable to urge her feet further forward as she looked upon the stone monolith which had been erected. Closing her eyes, memories of the night Corypheus had attacked flashed through her mind. People screaming. Fire ravaging the houses. Red templars storming the place, cutting down all those who got in their way. She knew it was all in her head, the images couldn't hurt her like she feared, but that didn't stop her from starting to shake. Her stomach twisted itself up in knots and she felt her breathing becoming shallow, tears slowly starting to slip down her face.

She had known coming to Haven would bring back the memories, would stir up the emotions which she tried so desperately to keep locked away. They had lost so many that night, innocent people who had sought safety from the chaos which plagued Thedas, loyal men and women who had joined the Inquisition to make a difference. The weight of their lose pressed heavily on the Inquisitor's shoulders.

People had tried to tell her it wasn't her fault, that her actions that night had in fact saved them. But it had done little to stop the guilt which had filled her. That guilt had fuelled the nightmares, reminding her of what they had lost and what she hadn't been able to do. Now her nightmares threatened to stop her from putting an end to Corypheus's mad plans, which she'd rather die then let happen. For the sake of everyone who was currently sheltering in Skyhold, everyone who looked to her for guidance and for those she counted as her friends and more, this was something she needed to face.

Forcing her eyes open, Evelyn took a shaky step forward. The rest of the world seemed to fall away as she focused on the monument in the centre of the clearing. The guilt for those they had lost swept over her in waves, pulling sobs from her throat as she stared ahead. In her mind she had failed so many people, so many innocent people, and yet there was still scores of faithful individuals who looked to her with hope in their eyes. The Inquisitor couldn't understand why people thought she was the one who would put an end to the nightmare they were currently living in, when she hadn't been able to stop what happened at Haven.

She could feel her whole body resisting her as she forced herself forward another step. The unconscious fight or flight instinct was fighting hard against her will to face the thing which frightened her to the point of collapsing due to lack of sleep. Evelyn knew she had to look ridiculous to those watching, a shaking, sobbing mess of a woman who was inching towards a stone monument, but she didn't know what else to do. Corypheus's twisted face flashed to the front of her mind, startling Evelyn and resulting in an undignified cry of terror to rip it's way out of the Inquisitor's mouth.

A strong pair of arms suddenly wrapped themselves around Evelyn, pulling her out of her mind and against the hard line of someone. Taking a deep breath, the smell of spices and the outdoors filled her nose and Cullen's comforting presence slowly encircled her. Without thinking about what she was doing or where they were, the Inquisitor turned herself so her face was pressed into the Commander's neck, hands clinging to him as her tears fell. She could feel her whole body shaking as she cried, the strong arms around her keeping her held tightly to Cullen's chest.

They didn't move from where they were stood for some time, the Inquisitor sobbing against the Commander as he whispered soothing words. Evelyn wasn't sure what the man was saying, her ears hearing little more then her heart beat and shaky breathing, but she knew they were meant to be comforting. A gloved hand made slow circles on her back, giving her something to focus on instead of the horrors and the guilt which swirled around her mind.

Slowly her tears began to dry out and she found the strength to pull herself away from her Commander a fraction in order to look up at him. Cullen's golden eyes roamed her face for a few seconds before the edge of his sacred mouth pulled upwards. Bringing a hand up, he gently brushed away the tears which remained on her cheeks, his touch helping to calm her. There was a warmth in the man's eyes which made her heart skip a beat. She couldn't help feeling herself melt a little at the look, a small smile threatening to break out on her own lips.

"Whatever is going on in that head of yours Evelyn, know this. You have not and will not fail us." His words were barely a whisper but the Inquisitor caught them all the same. Staring up at him, she found herself trying to come up with the words to refute him, her lips parting a little as she tried to think of something to say before she was cut off with a slow, gentle caress of his lips against hers.

Cullen held her cheek as he kissed her, stealing away any words she would have conjured against his statement. If she had been looking for a good way to clear her mind of any and all thoughts, this seemed to be the most effective method yet. The ringing in her ears receded and the unwelcome images in her mind faded away.

As the Commander slowly broke their kiss, the Inquisitor found herself feeling weak. Clinging tightly to the front of Cullen's armour to stop herself from slipping down onto the ground, Evelyn tried shaking her head a few time to wake herself up but it only served to make her feel worse. A mixture of lack of sleep and sudden outburst of emotions had been enough to rob her of any remaining energy she had. She felt the Commander shift slightly before he swept her up into his arms and against his chest in one smooth movement.

All concern for how she looked to everyone watching was thrown to the wind as the Inquisitor nuzzled close, wrapping her arms around Cullen's neck in comfort as she felt the man turn and begin to walk away from Haven. She played his words through her mind a few times. There had been so much conviction to his voice that she hadn't been able to come up with a reason why he wasn't correct. While in her own mind she was sure she had already failed them and was somehow going to continue to fail them, the Commander's words formed a crack of doubt in her logic. This was a man who had been through so much in his life and yet here he was putting his faith in her that she wouldn't fail him like others had before.

The thought of letting Cullen down didn't sit well with Evelyn and as she allowed her eyes to slip closed, she wondered whether she was really prepared to risk losing the man she was beginning to fall in love with to her inability to rise above her fears.

* * *

 _The sky was filled with smoke, choking black smoke which masked the scar the breach had left. Fire crawled up everything it could get a hold of. A wooden beam creaked painfully before it fell from a near-by building and landed on the ground a little way from Evelyn. She was laying flat on her back as Haven burned around her. She knew she had been here before, had seen this version of Haven in her nightmares countless times, but as with every time she was dragged back to that faithful night, she didn't know how to wake up._

 _Pushing herself up into a sitting position, the Inquisitor took a moment to survey the landscape around her. The red templars had come and gone, the evidence of their attack plain to see in the destruction which was left behind. Bodies littered the ground. Buildings which had once stood tall had been either ripped down or ravished with fire. Taking a deep breath, Evelyn slowly pulled herself up before turning in small circles to look around Haven._

 _She knew that if she choose to look she would find the bodies of her friends among those who had been slain. Had seen their bloodied faces and broken limbs too many times before. It was one of the reasons why she didn't tell people about her nightmare. No one wanted to hear that the leader of the Inquisition was dreaming about their broken bodies laying in the rubble of Haven, especially when it hadn't happened. There was seeing the future and then there was seeing a past which hadn't taken place. Most people disliked both, but Evelyn assumed the latter would concern people more then the former._

 _The shriek of Corypheus' corrupted high dragon sent a shiver down Evelyn's spine, her head whipping round to try and locate the beast. It's shadow flashed across the ground, but no matter how hard she tried she wasn't able to set her eyes on the creature. She knew that if the dragon had come, then it's twisted master would be along any moment. She could feel the panic beginning to rise up in her stomach, shaking her hands and causing her breathing to become shallow._

 _Turning towards the Chantry, the Inquisitor locked eyes with the one monster she didn't want to meet. Corypheus stood with a cruel smile on his lips, the red lyrium attached to his body pulsing faintly as he took a step towards her. It wasn't often that the mad magister himself made an appearance in her nightmares, but when he did she was normally reduced to a shaking, crying mess, unable to fight him as he attempted to end her life. While in real life she had been able to defend herself, she had put that down to the adrenaline which had been pumping through her body at the time, overshadowing the fear she had felt._

 _Evelyn wanted to be strong. She wanted to be able to face her demons head on without hesitation. Everyone was counting on her to be just that, the strong, confident, dedicated leader of the Inquisition who would face Corypheus and stop him from destroying Thedas. She knew this and yet as she stood staring at the nightmare version of the monster she feared more then anything, she couldn't do it. She wanted to run away and hide, wanted to curl into a ball and try to forget everything that had happened._

 _As she turned her head back to see how easy it would be to turn tail and run, she locked eyes with Cullen. Evelyn hadn't been expecting to see the Commander, jumping slightly at his sudden presence. This Cullen was not the lyrium addicted Cullen she had once been confronted with in her dreams. His golden eyes held the same warmth she had seen in Haven, scaring away a little of the fear she was currently feeling._

" _Whatever is going on in that head of yours Evelyn, know this. You have not and will not fail us." His words rang through her mind, stirring up the small seed of doubt which had started to form, the doubt at her belief that she couldn't stand up to Corypheus. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to face the vile creature which invaded her mind. She didn't want to be scared any more, there were too many people who were depending on her to face her fears and bring peace to Thedas._

 _Evelyn felt a warm hand take hold of hers, pulling her attention to it's owner and away from the darkspawn. Cullen smiled wide as he looked at her, his hand tightening on hers as they regarded each other. She didn't just have people depending on her, she had her brave Commander depending on her and if nothing else she couldn't allow herself to fail him. After everything he had been through, she didn't want to see him suffer any more and as much as it scared her, she knew she was the only one who would be able to ensure he didn't suffer again._

 _If she could stand up to Corypheus in her nightmares, then there was nothing stopping her from facing him in real life. And with Cullen at her side, she thought she might be able to do just that._

* * *

The cool night breeze ruffled his hair as the Commander wandered along the battlements of Skyhold. He couldn't sleep and had become bored of reading through reports at his desk. It had been a week since he had taken the Inquisitor to the lake where he had spent much of his childhood, a week since their trip to Haven and her breakdown, a week since they had last spoke in private.

Cullen couldn't help worrying about Evelyn. He had wanted to take her away from her troubles and yet somehow their trip had ended in her shaking and sobbing in the ruins of Haven. It hadn't been how he had pictured things going but then again nothing with the Inquisitor ever seemed to go how he planned.

Coming to a stop, Cullen leaned against the stone rampart as he stared out across the mountains. The Commander tried to clear his mind of everything and simply admire the view. It wasn't often he got time to appreciate the beautiful landscape which surrounded Skyhold without someone interrupting him and he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. Taking a deep breath, he tried to savour the silence which wrapped itself around him, knowing it was a rare luxury he was bound to lose before long.

He thought about their return from Haven, how they had received a number of weird looks as they had walked back from Haven's monument to their horses, the Inquisitor held tightly in the arms of the Commander. But Cullen hadn't cared. His actions seemed to sooth Evelyn and in that moment in time she had been the only thing that had mattered. Someone else in the Inquisition could worry about what people would say at the sight of them and most likely would if such talk ever made it's way to Skyhold.

Evelyn had clung to him as they rode back towards Skyhold, her hart following close behind after refusing to be tied to one of the soldier's horses. She hadn't said a word the whole way home, and Cullen hadn't wanted to ask what had just happened while they were in the company of others. The Inquisition's soldiers didn't need to know what had caused their leader to break down in tears, at least not unless she wanted to tell them, and he had got the impression she hadn't been in a sharing mood.

Foot steps slowly drawing near pulled Cullen from his thoughts and as he turned his attention to the direction the sound was coming from, he set his eyes upon the very woman he had been thinking about. Her hair was out of it's normal tight braid, allowing the red locks to sway in the wind and causing the Commander's hands to itch with the desire to run his fingers through the strands. She was dressed in her formal attire, most likely having spent most of the evening with Josephine meeting the noble men and women who had taken over the throne room. The look on her face told him she was tired, but it wasn't the normal exhausted expression which before their trip to Haven had been almost glued to her features.

The Inquisitor inclined her head as she drew close, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth and warming her bright green eyes. Coming to a stop a few feet away from him, Evelyn set her hands upon the stone battlement as she turned her attention out onto the night covered mountains. Slipping her eyes closed for a moment, she took in a deep breath before slowly releasing it, the tension which had pulled at her features fading slightly.

A multitude of different thoughts ran through his mind as Cullen studied the woman at his side. There were so many things he wanted to ask her, especially after the way they had parted, but he couldn't find the right words. And judging by her weary appearance, it probably wasn't the best subject to open with. Instead he settled on something he had been meaning to do for a while but hadn't found the right opportunity for it, considering everything which had happened lately.

"I wanted to thank you...when you came to see me the other week...if there's anything..." Cullen let out a shaky breath as he turned away from Evelyn, rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked out across the night's sky. "This sounded much better in my head."

"I trust you're feeling better?" The Inquisitor asked, moving slightly so she was standing closer to his side, her face still turned out towards the mountains. He was glad she understood what he was referring to without him having to explicitly say.

"I..yes." He could feel a blush threatening to form on his cheeks, embarrassment at his nervousness creeping over him.

"Is it always that bad?" She took her eyes away from the landscape for a moment in order to fix her gaze on Cullen, concern clear in her features as she looked at him. The dark marks which had once been an almost permanent feature under Evelyn's eyes had significantly reduced, a positive sign that she was starting to sleep better then before.

"The pain comes and goes. Sometimes I feel as if I'm back there... I should not have pushed myself so far that day." The Commander admitted, recalling the day the Inquisitor had come to him in his tower after finding him arguing with Cassandra. He sometimes wished she hadn't had to see him like that, angry and scared, unable to control his emotions as the lyrium withdrawal had tightened it's grip on him. On the other hand, if she hadn't been there for he, he wasn't sure if he'd have been able to resist the urge to use again.

"I'm just glad you're alright." There was a note of tenderness to Evelyn's voice which caused his stomach to do an odd flip. Neither of them had confirmed or denied their feelings towards one another, yet he had seen the looks she gave him. There was a warmth to her eyes which he no longer believed he was making up in his head when she looked at him.

"I am." He wasn't completely out of the woods yet, but he was progressing towards his goal of being completely free of lyrium nicely. He knew he still had a long way to go, that was almost certain, however he was happy with the way things were going currently.

"I've never told anyone what truly happened to me at Ferelden's Circle. I was... not myself after that. I was angry. For years, that anger blinded me. I'm not proud of the man that made me. Now I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened. It's a start."

He turned his attention on to Evelyn, catching the way she nibbled on her bottom lip as she looked down at her feet for a moment before returning her attention to him. The Commander could tell she wanted to say something and so kept his mouth firmly shut as he waited for her to speak. He had to keep his gaze fixed on her eyes in order to stop his mind wandering off at the sight of her lip caught between her teeth, unable to help the thoughts which popped into his head as he watched.

"For what it's worth, I like who you are now." Evelyn said in a small voice, wringing her hands a little as she spoke. Even in the darkness of the night he was able to pick up the slight blush which had crept up on to her cheeks at her words. Cullen stood in stunned silence for a moment as his mind went over what Evelyn had just said, mouth dropping open slightly before he found his ability to speak again.

"Even after-"

"Cullen, I care about you. You've done nothing to change that." The Inquisitor had closed the gap between them as she had been talking, catching the Commander's hands in her own and giving them a gentle squeeze. There was no stopping the smile which broke out across Cullen's face at that, the affection he felt for the Inquisition's leader bleeding out into his features as he looked at her.

He wanted her so badly it took all the willpower he had not to push her back against the battlements and claim her lips with his own. They had come so close too many times now, and his desire for her was only growing with each passing day. Hearing her voice her feelings for him fanned the simmering flames in his body, heating his skin and clouding his thoughts. If it wasn't for the fact that she was opening up to him a little, he would have allowed himself to carry out some of the ideas which were swirling around in his head. Instead, he voiced a question he had been wanting to ask for a while.

"What about you? You have troubles of your own. How are you holding up?" The Commander regretted his words the moment they left his mouth, watching as Evelyn pulled away from him to wrap her arms around her chest and turned herself towards the mountains once more. He knew she was attempting to throw up a wall within her mind, could see the internal fight on her face as she stood there. He had guessed a while back that she struggled with her own issues and their outing to Haven had only served to confirm the suspicions which had been growing over the months.

Standing silently by her side, Cullen knew better then to say anything. Out of habit he placed his hand onto the hilt of his sword, feeling a sense of comfort from the action as he waited to see if Evelyn was going to say anything. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the Inquisitor fought back tears, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she hugged herself tightly before she gave a sigh. It broke his heart to see her this way, but he knew that the only way he was going to be able to help her was if she told him what was troubling her.

"Honestly. I'm terrified. So many people depend on us, on me. Corypheus is still out there." Her voice was almost a whisper and if the Commander hadn't been standing so close, he was sure he would have missed her words. She suddenly looked very small as she stood hugging herself, her emotions clear on her face as she watched the night sky.

As he had done when they were in Haven, Cullen came to stand behind the Inquisitor and wrapped his arms around her so he could pull her back against him. Almost at once he felt her body relax, her shoulders loosening as she leaned into him. Planting a kiss to the back of her head as he held her tightly, he couldn't help feeling the slight tremor which ran through her body.

"We've made great strides. Do not doubt yourself or the Inquisition just yet. If there's anything I can do, you have only to ask." The Commander spoke in a low voice, tightening his arms slightly and dipping his head in order to place a kiss against her cheek. It might not have been much, but her admission proved to the Commander that she trusted him more then anyone else in the Inquisition. He knew she hadn't told anyone about her breakdown at Haven, otherwise it would have been a hotly discussed topic around the keep. And to admit her fear to him only fuelled his desire to hold on to the woman as tightly as possible and not let her go.

"Thank you Cullen." Evelyn said in a whisper, placing her hands over his and giving them a small squeeze. "I'm not sure what I would do without you sometimes." She was going to be his undoing if she kept saying such things and Maker did he want it more then anything.


	14. Chapter 14

Warning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

Sorry that this has taken so long to write. I've had an extreme case of writer's block. Hopefully this chapter goes some way to making up for the lack of updates.

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen**

As much as it pained her to do so, Evelyn parted ways from Cullen that evening in order to return to her own chambers. She had promised Cassandra she would help her in the search for the Seekers of Truth, and that meant travelling to the Castle of Caer Oswin early the next morning. Cullen understood why she needed to go, having been involved with discussions on the matter over the war table. That didn't make walking away from him any easier.

It was at times such as this that Evelyn wished they had met in a different life, one in which there was no Inquisition and no looming threat of death hanging over them all. Maybe if they had met when she had still lived with her family, she could have convinced her parents to let her marry Cullen. He might not have been the man they had in mind for her, but she knew she could have brought them round to her way of thinking. She was still their little girl after all.

Or maybe if she hadn't become the Inquisitor, they could have had a more normal relationship. No one batted an eyelid if one of her companions went to bed with one of the soldiers, or flirted with the staff in the throne room. If she hadn't taken up such an important position in the Inquisition then maybe no one would have noticed their relationship. It would have made it a lot easier to see each other, and Evelyn at the very least wouldn't be constantly off across Thedas, fighting monsters or rescuing villagers.

And yet as much as she sometimes wished it had all happened differently, there was still a big part of her which wouldn't change a thing. Yes she was frustrated beyond anything, getting to the point where she sometimes contemplated just pushing the man to the ground and having her way with him. On the other hand, Cullen had come to trust her in a way she didn't think would have been possible if she had been just some regular person in the Inquisition. The attraction would still have been there, but she got the impression that the Commander held a lot of people at arms length, not wanting to let them get too close. Being the Inquisitor had allowed her to get closer to him then anyone else and that she wouldn't trade for the world.

Thankfully her outing to find the Seekers of Truth did not taken as long as they had thought it would. As they feared Corypheus had got his hands on them, the Order having been sold out by Lord Seeker Lucius. And while it hadn't been the outcome they had been hoping for, at least some of Cassandra's questions had been answered. She had taken the 'Book of Secrets' they had retrieved and gone off to the armoury in order to study it, unsure of what she would find hidden in it's pages. Evelyn felt it was better to give the woman some time alone with the book, knowing their trip had shaken her more then she was letting on.

After a quick change into more comfortable clothing, Evelyn choose to visit the war room, wanting to pen a quick report on what they had found and also check on how things were looking. Slipping through the door which led into Josephine's office, she found that the Ambassador was not at her normal spot behind her desk. Not wanting to get caught by the woman if she did return suddenly, she moved quickly through the office and along the corridor to the war room, relieved to find it was empty when she poked her head inside.

Closing the door quietly behind her, the Inquisitor wandered across the room until she was standing in her usual spot looking down at the map of Thedas. Little had changed while she had been away. A few of the markers had moved slightly, most likely updates on soldier's movements or the current location of Leliana's scouts. Evelyn made a mental note to catch up with her advisors regarding the movements, before taking up a piece of parchment to begin her report on their outing to Castle Caer Oswin.

The Inquisitor was able to get through the first couple of lines of her account before the heavy wooden doors behind her began to creak open. Bringing her eyes up from the paper, she watched over her shoulder as her Spymaster slipped into the war room without a sound, the woman bowing her head slightly as she spotted Evelyn.

"Inquisitor." Leliana said as she wandered over, taking up her normal place on one side of the room and picking up one of the books which littered the table's edge. She turned the item over in her hands a few times, flicking through a couple of it's pages, before returning it to it's place. "How goes the hunt for the Seekers?"

"As feared, Corypheus got to them. Lord Seeker Lucius sold them out. I don't think Cassandra is taking it too well." The Inquisitor replied as she returned to her report. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Leliana give a small nod of her head before moving the marker they had placed over Castle Caer Oswin.

"At least we know what happened to them now." The Spymaster remarked and while the Inquisitor agreed with her, she was glad the comment had been made when Cassandra wasn't in the room. The Seeker needed time to come to terms with the things she had found out and some time to think about what she was going to do going forward. Leliana's observation, while factually correct, could have been seen as somewhat insensitive.

Silence fell between the pair, Evelyn finishing off the rest of her report while Leliana worked on the map of Thedas. It wasn't very often that the two spent time together, other then to discuss what the scouts had been able to find out or what the Inquisitor had discovered on her outings. Leliana was not normally known for ideal chatter and talking for the sake of talking, however that didn't make their current situation awkward. If anything, the pair seems to fall into a bearable silence, both women focused on their own tasks and happy to leave the other in peace as they worked.

As the Inquisitor came to the end of her report she noted that her Spymaster was watching her, having stopped moving markers around the map and instead giving her full attention to the Trevelyan. Signing off the document, Evelyn scanned her eyes over her work to check she hadn't missed anything, before setting it to one side and straightening herself up, eyes falling on the other woman.

"You know, Josephine has received some requests for information about our Commander's linage from a few interested parties at the Winter Palace." Leliana remarked, her features almost void of all emotions as she spoke. If it hadn't been for the mischievous look which danced within her eyes, the Inquisitor might have been fooled into thinking the Spymaster considered such requests to be standard business.

"I recall her saying. Didn't our Commander mention using said requests as kindling?" Evelyn had a vague memory of her advisors discussing the matter over the war table maybe a week or so ago. Cullen had not been as amused by the news as the other two had been, the women enjoying the way the Commander had blushed despite his best efforts.

"He did. I felt it would be better if we kept them instead. Information such as that could be useful in the future. Would you not like to know who pines after your Commander Inquisitor?" The Spymaster asked, no longer able to keep the amusement from her voice as she spoke. Evelyn couldn't deny that after hearing that Josephine had been receiving requests for information on Cullen she had wanted to know who they were from. But she had held off asking for such information as she knew what the woman would read from such actions.

"I don't think that's information I need to worry about." She tried to keep her tone casual as she spoke but judging by the look the Spymaster was currently giving her, it hadn't worked.

"Do not worry Inquisitor. We all know what is going on between you and the Commander. I can completely understand why you would be interested in finding out who has eyes on Cullen." The tone of Leliana's voice made the Inquisitor wonder just how many people knew about her relationship with Cullen. Yes, the pair haven't exactly been very good at keeping their feelings for each other hidden, but that didn't mean they had been shouting the news from the roof of Skyhold.

"As someone who uses information on people's relationships as a tool of her trade, I would have thought you would advise against the leader of the Inquisition getting involved with anyone, let alone their Commander." Evelyn said as she cocked an eyebrow at Leliana, watching a small smile slowly start to tug at the corner of her month as she listened.

"That is very true." The Spymaster responded, walking to the edge of the table in order to lean her hip against it. "But I couldn't go advising such things to you, considering the sorts of relationships I have had in the past."

Evelyn knew some of her Spymaster's history, mostly of her actions in the fifth blight, but she had also picked up the odd snippet of more personal information from overheard conversations here and there. She was almost certain that the Commander had once tried to ask Leliana about her relationship with the Warden while at the war table, but had become too embarrassed to continue when the woman had questioned whether he was asking for details.

"Some would argue it's not appropriate to become involved with your advisors." She tried to retort, not being able to think of anyone who had ever said she shouldn't start a relationship with anyone, but hoping Leliana wouldn't call her bluff on the matter all the same. If anything, anyone who had something to say about her and Cullen seemed more interested in trying to push the pair closer together, instead of pulling them apart.

"And others would argue becoming involved with the Warden during the fifth blight was not a good idea, but we both lived to tell the tale. If someone was going to try to use your relationship with Cullen to their advantage, they would have done so by now. As it stands, nothing has happened and therefore I would not worry about it." The Spymaster said and Evelyn wasn't sure if that meant no one had tried or people had tried but their attempts had been unsuccessful.

There was many things which Leliana and her people did in the shadows which the Inquisitor wasn't aware of. She was pretty confident that if someone had come along planning to use information of her relationships to their advantage, the Spymaster would have dealt with the matter without hesitation. The question was, would Leliana ever tell her if people had attempted something, or would she keep the information to herself to stop Evelyn from using it as an excuse?

"I don't know Leliana. As people like to remind me, I'm the leader of the Inquisition and apparently that means acting in a certain way." Evelyn said with a sigh, recounting the many conversations she had had with Josephine and Vivienne about how someone of her standing was required to behave when going about certain aspects of her role. The only advise both women had offered when the topic of personal relationships had come up in conversation was discretion. What happened behind closed doors and away from prying eyes did not matter. Her public image was paramount and as long as her relationships didn't impact onto that then it didn't matter. Of course she wasn't going to tell Leliana that.

"Let me put it to you another way Inquisitor. The Hero of Ferelden had relationships. The Champion of Kirkwall had relationships. There is nothing to say the Herald of Andraste can't also have relationships." Leliana pushed away from the side of the table as she was speaking, giving Evelyn a knowing look as she turned away from her and headed towards the door. "Stop coming up with excuses and do something you want to do for a change. Don't make me send replies to those requests for information."

The Spymaster shot one final look over her shoulder at the Inquisitor, a smile pulling at her mouth as she gave her a wink, before she slipped out of the room. The door closed with a soft thud, leaving Evelyn stood in silence with her mouth slightly parted in disbelief. There was no way Leliana would reply to those letters, would she? As much as she liked to believe the woman was joking, there was a small part of her mind which warned her she wasn't.

She had never thought of herself as a jealous woman, yet the idea of unknown women across Thedas receiving personal information about Cullen did not sit well with her at all. He was her Commander, both on a professional level and a personal one. Such a possessive thought would have once shocked Evelyn but not any more. There was no running from the feelings she had for Cullen, the happiness she felt in his arms, the comfort his presence brought her, the flames of desire he so easily stoked in her. The question now was why was she stalling?

Evelyn knew she wanted the Commander and that the Commander wanted her. Her companions and advisors had made it no secret that they thought the pair should stop their silly dance around each other and just get together. And she could no longer hide behind terrible nightmares which crippled her with fear and exhaustion. Recently she had found herself able to sleep through the night without suffering from her usual horrific dreams. She still saw images of Haven, that hadn't changed, but they no longer came with the disabling fear and terror that there had been before. She no longer woke sobbing into her pillow or shaking uncontrollably.

The Inquisitor had to admit that the Spymaster was right. There was nothing to say she shouldn't or couldn't have a relationship with Cullen. Yes, they faced peril and the risk of losing each other to their enemies, but if the Hero of Ferelden and the Champion of Kirkwall had done it and lived to tell and tale, then why couldn't she? Why couldn't she have someone who would stand by her side through the dangers and hold her close when it was all over?

A smile forced it's way onto Evelyn's lips as she realised what she needed to do. With her heart beating loudly in her chest, she quickly made her way out of the war room and across Skyhold, relieved to make it to the battlements without being sidetracked by anyone. As she drew closer to Cullen's tower the sound of voices grew louder, the snippets of conversation which reached her ears telling her the Commander was speaking with some of his troops currently. Normally she would have left the man to it and returned later when he was alone, but today she couldn't wait that long. As quietly as she could, the Inquisitor carefully pushed open the door and slipped inside, silently praying the meeting was coming to a close so she could have the Commander to herself.

* * *

"Rylen's men will monitor the situation." Cullen said as he looked up from the report he was holding to the men and women stood around him. He had been hoping to keep the meeting as short as possible but, as it always did, it had dragged on for longer then any of them would have liked. It seemed by the time you finished sorting out one issue, another three had popped up in it's place.

"Yes, ser. We'll begin preparations at once." A soldier to his side responded. The Commander recognised the woman as one of Rylen's, but couldn't recall her name. Their numbers continued to climb and as much as Cullen would have preferred to know everyone he was ultimately responsible for, there were some things he had to admit defeat on. There had been a slight blush on the woman's cheeks when Cullen had turned his attention to her, and while he would admit she was pretty, nothing stirred within him when he gazed at her.

"In the meantime, we'll send soldiers to...assist the relief effort." His voice faltered slightly as he noticed Evelyn standing at the back of the room, her arms loosely folded over her chest as she smiled at him. Now there was a woman who stirred things within him, wicked things which he didn't need to be thinking about with a room full of troops. More and more he found that the mere sight of her brought out his possessive side, which wanted nothing more then to take the woman to his bed and ravish her body.

He didn't know for how long she had been watching him for, unable to recall hearing the door open while he had been speaking to the group stood around him and his desk. The Commander hadn't been able to get the woman off of his mind since they had parted. It had started with him being concerned about her welfare after their talk on the battlements, but as the days has passed, his thoughts had morphed into something all together more steamy. It had got to the point that he had been so distracted by thoughts of Evelyn that he had been forced to lock himself in his tower in a desperate bid to relieve some of his tension.

After the small taste of her he had got in the tent on the way to Haven, his mind and body had been craving more. The feel of her soft skin under his hands, the way she mewled as he claimed her lips and how she clung to him as he finally tipped her over the edge. It had been everything he had dreamed of and more. But as it was, their responsibilities had meant that a continuation of what they had started had been difficult to come by. Combining this with the normal stress of his role as Commander of the Inquisition's forces had resulted in Cullen being unusually restless and gruff at times.

"That will be all." Cullen suddenly said. There was no way he was going to be able to continue briefing the troops around him with the temptation which stood at the back of the room. He resigned himself to the fact that he would need to catch up the following day, but that didn't matter at that moment in time when he knew Evelyn was within arm's reach. Seeing the confused looks he was getting from the men and women around him, the Commander arched an eyebrow at them before gesturing towards the door as if to reaffirm that he really was letting them leave early.

"Ser!" A chorus of voices spoke at once before the sound of people hurrying to leave filled the room. Moving around the desk, Cullen watched as the last of his soldiers left the office before walking over to the door and ensuring it was firmly closed behind them. Reaching up, he pushed the door's bolt into place, no longer in the mood to entertain any guests apart from the one stood to his side.

"There's always something more, isn't there?" Cullen couldn't help himself from muttering as he pressed his head against the wooden door. A deep sigh left him as he allowed his shoulders to relax, some of the tension he could feel in his back slipping away. He had been on his feet for most of the day, checking on the barracks, completing reports for Josephine, overseeing the training of the new recruits. Now he just wanted to unwind and as always the Inquisitor's mere presence was enough to calm him somewhat.

"Long day?" Evelyn asked as she looked up at the Commander from her place leaning against the wall. Her red locks were out of their normal braid and fell softly around her face, her green eyes shone in the candle light which illuminated the room. While Cullen thought the Inquisitor looked beautiful in whatever she wore, to him this was when she looked her best. Out of the regal clothes or leather amour, instead opting for the simple shirt and linen trousers she liked to spot when home in Skyhold. The way it clung to all the right parts of her body was a feast for Cullen's eyes, one he enjoyed from afar and up close.

"I shouldn't complain. This won't last forever." Cullen tried to smile as he spoke, wandering away from the door and back towards his desk. There was a small part of him which didn't fully believe his own words. Sometimes it felt like they would be fighting the war against Corypheus forever. "When it started, I hadn't considered much beyond our survival. But things are different now."

Stopping in his tracks, Cullen turned to look back at the Inquisitor. When he had joined the Inquisition he had never dreamed of meeting someone like Evelyn, someone who would break down the carefully constructed walls he had put up since the Circle and Kirkwall. She had shown him that it was okay to let people into his life and that he had the strength to face his demons. At times he felt that if it hadn't been for her coming to see him the day he had gone to Cassandra, he would had slipped and gone back to being the lyrium addict he hated.

"What do you mean?"The Inquisitor cocked her head to one side as she spoke, a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth, as if she already knew what he meant but wanted to hear him say it out loud. Slowly she pushed herself away from the wall and closed the gap become them, coming to a stop when she stood across from him.

"I find myself wondering what will happen after. When this is over. I don't want to move on...not from you." Instinctively he brought a gloved hand up to cup her cheek, smiling at the way she leaned into his touch seemingly without thinking. She hadn't been gone for long this time, but that hadn't stopped him from missing her. It struck him that she had become one of the most important things in his life, if not the most important thing. When he was younger the most important thing to him had been becoming a templar. Once he achieved that, it changed to serving the Chantry and after Kirkwall the Inquisition took it's place. But now, as he looked at the woman stood in front of him, he realised he had been foolish for making those the most important things in his life.

"But I don't know what you-that is, if you, ah..." The Commander stumbled over his words as his confidence faltered slightly. What if the Inquisitor didn't feel the same way? He hadn't been thinking that when he had been speaking, but as his brain caught up with his words a voice in the back of his mind started to cast doubt on his thoughts. As much as he tried to tell himself that the things which had happened in the past might not happen again, he couldn't shake off the worry and doubt which came from years of bad luck and horrible experiences.

Maybe when the war was over Evelyn would want to return to her family. There was every chance that, seeing as she came from the noble House Trevelyan, her family had suitors waiting back in the Free Marches for her. Such ideas made him feel nervous, that maybe this was going to be the day when the Inquisitor called a halt to what they were doing and walked away from him.

Suddenly unable to make eye contact with the woman, the Commander walked away from her and towards the desk, scanning his eyes over the mess of paperwork in a desperate bid to look busy. He could feel her standing behind him, her eyes on his back as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. His heart was racing within his chest, to the point where it felt like it was attempting to burst out from behind his chest plate and give away his anxiety. Biting into his bottom lip, he hoped she would do him a kindness and be quick in her rejection, if only to save him some of the pain he knew he would feel if she did.

"Cullen. Do you need to ask?" Evelyn said slowly as she gently pushed her way between the Commander and the desk in order to look up onto his face. Her features had pulled into a mock questioning look for just a second before her beautiful smile had broken through, her eyes dancing across his face as she wriggled herself onto the edge of the desk. He found that he couldn't help the smile which started to pull at the corner of his mouth, the weight which had settled in the pit of his stomach disappearing at her words.

"I suppose not." Without thinking Cullen had taken a step towards the Inquisitor, forcing her back onto the desk a little more. Placing her hands down onto the wooden surface in order to brace herself, he watched as she seemed to arch her back slightly, pushing her chest out and drawing his attention. He wondered how many times he had imagined the Inquisitor in such a position. Admittedly it normally involved her being in less clothes, but there was nothing to say they couldn't do anything to rectify that.

The simmering arousal which had been building in him ever since he had noticed that Evelyn was in the room rose a few notches. While his office might have had a hole in it's roof, it suddenly didn't feel that cold. Nudging Evelyn's knees, he loved how she instantly parted her legs to let him fit between them, bringing him ever closer to the core of her body. This time there would be no interruptions, no falling asleep on either of their parts and no worrying about whether friends or colleagues could hear them.

"I-" Whatever he was about to say was cut off as an empty bottle of wine tumbled off of the edge of the desk and shattered on the ground, a feminine gasp filling the air at the sound. Eyes snapping to the broken mess, Cullen looked at the pieces of glass for a second before returning his attention to the Inquisitor. She was biting her bottom lip as she looked between the Commander and what had been a bottle until moments before. The desire to pull her close and take her mouth coursed through him, fuelled not only by her current expression but also the days he had spent alone waiting for her to return.

Not knowing when he would get the Inquisitor in such a position again, Cullen decided to do something he had always wanted to do. With one sweep of his arms, he pushed the remaining items on his desk to the ground. Papers went flying, a goblet cracked and rolled away into a corner, and books fell to the floor with satisfying thuds. Turning back to Evelyn, he placed a hand on either side of her waist and gently lifted her further onto the table. It seemed the Inquisitor needed little encouragement, a devilish smile taking over her lips as she shuffled back along the table until she was able to lay back without having to dangle her legs off of the edge.

The Commander found himself instinctively following after Evelyn, unable to take his eyes off of her as she moved back across his desk. He knew there would be no fighting the pull he felt now, the almost all consuming need to have the beautiful woman currently draped across his table. His body hummed with desire as he crawled up hers, bracing himself above her with his forearms on either side of her head. Evelyn's own arms had come up to snake around his neck, pulling him close as he settled his weight over her. He held in the groan of satisfaction which threatened to come out of him, the feel of her soft body pressed against the hard lines of his own sending ripples of desire through him.

Cullen gazed down at the woman under him. Her eyes were hooded with arousal, pink tongue flicking out to run over her lips as she tangled her fingers in his hair. If he had thought she had looked beautiful before, it was nothing compared to how she looked now. Flushed cheeks, darkened eyes, red hair spilling out across the wooden surface. He hovered inches from her, committing the sight of her to memory just in case he never got this chance again. When he watched the woman bite into her bottom lip, all thoughts of savouring the sight before him were thrown out of the window.

Catching her mouth with his own, the Commander made an almost feral growl as he kissed her. A small voice in the back of his mind told him he should be gentle and slow, but such a thought was quickly pushed to one side when the sound of Evelyn moaning in response reached his ears. Her lips parted readily when he ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth, and he was quick to sweep inside to steal the very breath from her. How he had longed to do this.

Any other thoughts which might have been trying to surface in Cullen's mind were quickly drowned out by the thumping desire which coursed through him. He was acting on instinct, something he normally tried extremely hard to avoid. Instinct made him rough, demanding and hungry for everything the other person could give. Some women enjoyed such behaviour, but he normally tried his best to keep control of himself. One too many bad experiences acting on instinct was enough to cause any man to keep a tighter hold on himself.

Breaking away from her mouth, Cullen heard the heavy pants Evelyn gave as he began to blaze a trail of kisses down onto her neck. Her fingers fell away from his hair in order to grip his arms, nails digging in slightly when he found a particularly sensitive spot in the crook of her neck. With his lower body fitted between the Inquisitor's legs, he could feel every thrust and grind of her hips as she wriggled beneath him. He didn't know if she was doing it on purpose or without thinking, but either way it didn't matter to him.

The Commander found that his progress down her neck was hindered by the shirt the Inquisitor was wearing. It's high collar was blocking his path and with a growl of frustration he leaned up slightly on one arm in order to free one of his hands. His fingers made quick work of the front of her shirt, undoing the buttons and revealing her soft skin to the cold air. Staying in his current position allowed him to marvel at the sight before him, watching as goosebumps broke out over her skin and her cheeks developed a deep red blush as they looked at each other.

Unable to hold back any longer, Cullen returned to planting kissing down the Inquisitor's skin, moving from her neck, over her collar bone and down. When he came to her chest binding he made short work of the material, freeing her from it's clutches and letting the item tumble to the floor. Before he knew what she was doing, Evelyn had arched her back off of the desk slightly, thrusting her chest towards him in a silent beg. This woman knew what she wanted, and there was no way Cullen wasn't going to give her just that.

He started with feather light kisses against her skin, letting his hot breath fan out and causing her nipples to pebble, but not giving her the satisfaction of taking one of them in his mouth. The more he teased her, coming close but not giving her exactly what she wanted, the more she ground herself against him. It was difficult to deny that he was doing it so he could enjoy the friction. Finally, hearing his name being said on a breathy moan made him stop his teasing. Taking one of her hard buds in his mouth, he swirled his tongue around it, drawing a low moan out of Evelyn. She tried to arch her back off of the desk even more, instinctively pressing her chest closer to the Commander and receiving a nip from him in response. The sound which left her lips was a mix between a gasp and a groan, letting him know she enjoyed the sensation.

After he lavished attention on one, the Commander switched to the other, drawing more sounds from the Inquisitor as she lay under him. One of her hands had come up to tangle in his hair, pulling slightly on the golden strands whenever he did something she particularly liked. The pain helped to keep Cullen from becoming lost in sensation and reach his own climax before he had given Evelyn a few of her own. He wouldn't be able to live down the embarrassment at such a poor performance, no matter what she said to try and sooth his damaged pride.

When she could no longer seem to take his torture, her breathing coming in shallow pants as she wriggled behind him, Cullen moved away from her chest and instead ran a path of kisses down towards her navel and further still. As he reached the tops of her breeches he stopped, smiling at the whining sound which came from Evelyn at the loss of contact. She wanted this as much as he did, maybe more if the small begging sounds she gave were anything to go by.

Slipping off of the desk, he spent a few moments removing the Inquisitor's boots, thankful that she had gone for a pair which had slightly less complicated lacing then her normal ones. Once the items were thrown out of the way, he began work on the string which fastened her breeches. As he undid the fastening, his eyes meet with Evelyn's as she watched him from her position on the desk. She was chewing on her bottom lip, chest raising rapidly as she studied him with anticipation in her eyes.

Cullen hooked his fingers into the top of her breeches and pulled them, along with her underwear, slowly down her legs before throwing them somewhere in his office. When she was free of the item she rubbed her thighs together, clearly missing the friction she has enjoyed before. Not wanting to leave her waiting for long, the Commander gripped her hips firmly and pulled her to the edge of the desk, sinking to his knees between her legs once she was where he wanted her.

His mouth watered at the sight of her, ready and open for him. How he had longed to have her in this position, fantasized about what it would be like if he was ever so lucky. Not knowing when he would get the chance again, he wasted no time in running his tongue along the length of her, unable to stop the groan of enjoyment which fell from his lips. It was better then he had ever imagined. He swiped his tongue along her again and relished in the moans of pleasure which came from Evelyn.

Exploring her with his mouth was highly addictive. Whether it was running his tongue down the length of her, or flicking it across her sensitive bud, he couldn't get enough. He enjoyed every sound he caused the Inquisitor to make, from small gasps of surprise to drawn out groans. When he sucked her bud into his mouth he was rewarded to his name falling from her lips. It had him straining against his breeches, the desire to be buried in her almost winning out against wanting to make Evelyn come undone on his mouth. Almost but not quite.

After a while he was no longer satisfied with just using his mouth, wanting to coax more beautiful sounds out of the exquisite woman above him. Beginning with one finger before building to two, he started out slow, drawing out each thrust of his fingers to listen to the noises which came after them. Twisting them slightly, he found just the spot which made Evelyn cry out, unable to stop the smile which pulled at his lips. It was music to his ears.

As his fingers pumped into her, his tongue flicked across the bundle of nerves which made the Inquisitor groan loudly. He could tell she was close, her body trembling as he worked her, her breathing shallow as she raced towards her release. She had returned one of her hands to his hair, her fingers tangled in his locks and pulling ever so slightly as he brought her closer to climax before drawing back slightly. He did this again and again, enjoying the way she tugged on his hair and squeezed her thighs as he built her up.

"Please." Cullen heard Evelyn whisper suddenly, knowing what she begged for. Needing no more encouragement from the woman, he set a rough pace with both his fingers and his tongue, no longer slowing when he felt her reaching her limit, giving her just the simulation she needed.

With a strangled cry she tumbled over the edge, nails digging into his scalp as she rode out the waves of pleasure which washed through her body. Cullen couldn't help the smile of satisfaction which burst across his lips, his tongue flicking out one final time to run over her. Evelyn slowly released the grip she had on the Commander's hair, allowing him to straighten up from his place between her legs and gaze down onto her. She had her eyes closed, head thrown back against desk as she came down from her high. The sight only served to fuel the Commander's raging desire, which pressed hard and heavy against the constraints of his breeches, aching for the woman spread out before him. The night had only just begun.


	15. Chapter 15

Warning: This story is rated mature.

Note: All characters and dialogue from the game are owned by BioWare.

 **Please enjoy this short but final chapter of Haunted Dreams. Sorry it's taken so long.**

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen**

How they made it up the ladder and over to Cullen's bed Evelyn didn't know. After the amazing high she had just experienced she wasn't sure which way was up any more, let alone how to make any of her limbs function as they once had. But somehow the Commander had got them both up to the platform above his office, over to the bed and was now staring down at the Inquisitor as she lay sprawled out across the mattress.

"You're so beautiful." Cullen whispered as he cupped one of her cheeks, his thumb rubbing gently back and forth across her skin. While his voice and actions were soft, Evelyn could see the smouldering desire which still shone behind his eyes. The night was not over yet and the thought of what was to come made her stomach flutter and her heart began to race again. How she had wished for this, to finally let go of all concern and indulge in the passion they felt for each other.

The Commander brought their lips together in what began as a soft kiss, a slow caress of lips which quickly built back to the intense breath-stealing kisses Evelyn secretly craved. She parted her lips and let Cullen sweep inside, submitting to his dominance after only a brief dance of their tongues. She spent too much of her day to day life being the perfect leader, giving orders and generally being in charge of people and situations. In this moment she would happily surrender completely to Cullen and she got the impression that was exactly what he wanted.

It wasn't long before she was tugging at the clothes which covered Cullen, wanting to feel the hard press of his body against hers without a layer of fabric or metal in the way. As he freed himself from his armour and underclothes, Evelyn discarded what was left of her own clothes. The cool night air which whispered through the gaps in the tower's roof brushed over her skin, raising goosebumps and turning her nipples to hard buds once more.

Once Cullen was free of his clothing, he returned his focus to the Inquisitor, settling himself back between her legs and using one arm to support his weight above her so she wasn't crushed. She could feel the force of his desire pressing into her, the sensation pulling a gasp from her lips as she realised the size of the man.

Skimming a hand down the expense of his chest and lower, the Inquisitor caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she inched closer to her prize. As much as she had enjoyed being teased and pleased by Cullen, she relished the idea of returning the favour. A hiss rose from the Commander as her hand finally encircled him, hot flesh pressed into the palm of her hand as she gave a tentative stroke. This was not the first time she had laid with a man, but something about being with Cullen made Evelyn feel like a young woman again, unsure yet thrilled by the idea of what was to come.

Starting slow, she drew her hand to the top of him before running it down his length, watching the way the Commander's eyes rolled back into his head at the sensation. His teeth were biting into his bottom lip, pulling the scar taunt and making her want to run her tongue over the white line. After a time he opened his eyes once more and brought his head down to rest their foreheads together as Evelyn worked her hand up and down his length.

While she was using her hand to pleasure him and after he had taken a number of deep breaths to regain control over himself, Cullen used one of his own hands to swipe over her chest and lower. Her legs parted readily for him, eager to have him return his clever fingers to the spot which brought most pleasure.

However he didn't give her want she wanted straight away. To begin with he only ran his hand along the inside of her leg, his callous fingertips grazing her skin as he drew patterns from her knee up towards her sensitive core. His actions distracted her from what she was doing and caused her to stop her movements for a moment as she squirmed against his hand, trying in vain to bring it closer to where she wanted it most.

When he wouldn't give her want she desired she refocused her attention to the task at hand, tightening her grip on him and quickening her pace. Cullen groaned loudly at that, stilling his hand on her hip and muttering something about the Maker. The reaction only served to encourage her further, not slowing her pace as she drew him closer to his own climax.

"Evelyn." Cullen whispered, the word a warning that if she wasn't careful she would drive him over the edge. While she wouldn't have minded seeing him come undone because of her hand, she knew that wasn't what either of them wanted in this situation. There would hopefully be plenty of opportunities in the future for Evelyn to have her way with the Commander but now was not the time.

The moment she released him her mouth was caught by his in a bruising kiss, her breath quickly stolen. Hands snaked back up into the Commander's hair, and her fingers gripped the golden strands in an attempt to keep him exactly where he currently was. Their teeth bashed together, each trying to deepen the kiss by slightly shifting positions. It was the sort of kiss she didn't want to end but knew it had to at some point otherwise she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen.

When they did break apart, both Evelyn and Cullen spent a few moments trying to catch their breath, each staring at the other. All the false starts and interrupted moments seemed worth it now they were finally able to enjoy an evening of each other's company. All the missed opportunities meant neither one of them seemed to be holding back in what they gave the other.

Evelyn understood the look the man was currently giving her, silently asking her if she wanted to continue. The uncertain side of the Commander was showing through in the moment, a side she could relate to at times. He had been through so much she couldn't blame a small part of him for being sceptical at what was happening. She wanted more then anything to rid the man of any doubt but she knew such a wish would take time to achieve. For now Evelyn gave a nod of her head and hooked her legs around him, nudging him closer to her centre to show him she wanted this just as much as he did.

Not needing any more encouragement, Cullen positioned himself at her entrance before slowly thrusting in. The feeling of satisfaction which ran through her at being filled by the Commander was overwhelming. This is what she had been waiting for. For a few seconds neither one of them moved as they enjoyed the feelings which ran through them. Cullen had his forehead pressed against hers as he took a number of deep breaths, his eyes closed as he appeared to take a few moments to collect himself.

When he had calmed himself slightly, the Commander opened his eyes, golden orbs running over her face as he held himself above her. She assumed he was looking for signs of discomfort from her, but all she gave him was a smile and a wriggle of her hips, earning her a smirk in response before he moved. He set a slow pace to begin with, delighting in pulling almost all the way out before thrusting back in, being rewarded each time with a groan of enjoyment from Evelyn. The normal worry of being heard or found out had abandoned her, resulting in her freely expressing exactly how she felt. Cullen on the other hand kept his noises to a minimum, teeth digging in to his bottom lip as he tried to hold in the sounds he naturally wanted to make.

Once he had built to a pace he could maintain, the Commander snaked a hand down Evelyn's body, keeping himself supported with his other arm. The Inquisitor had to admire the man's strength and found that her own hands instinctively ran over the taut muscles on his arms, liking what they found. The man began by teasing her nipples, pinching the hardened buds and drawing hisses from Evelyn as she was enthralled by the mixed sensation of pleasure and pain.

He worked at her until he had her thrusting back against him, mirroring his pace in an attempt to bring herself closer to the edge she knew he was driving her towards. A devilish smile pulled at the edge of the Commander's mouth and he leaned in close enough to pull on her ear and whisper.

"Not yet Evelyn." His desire filled tone made her shiver in ecstasy, her mind thinking of all the things she would let him do to her if he used that tone. As he finished his sentence, his hand slipped away from her and returned to it's original place on the bed, going back to keeping him propped over her.

Without warning Cullen pulled away from Evelyn, causing a disappointed mewl to tumble from her lips. She had been racing towards the edge and his sudden withdrawal left her body humming with desire, desperate to find release but finding it slip away the longer she lay there. Before she was able to question what was wrong, she had been flipped onto her belly, strong hands pulling her hips up until she was positioned on her hands and knees.

With fingers digging into her hips, Cullen sheathed himself to the hilt, groaning loudly once he was back inside her. Evelyn released her own moan of contentment, enjoying the new sensitivity which came from the different position. The Commander wasted no time in starting up his pace again, drawing out each thrust once more and no longer stifling the noises of pleasure he unconsciously made.

With her face pressing into the bedsheets, Evelyn could be as loud as she wanted, the mattress soaking up most of the sounds she made as Cullen drove into her. Together they were racing towards their climax, the edge drawing closer the longer and harder they went. If she had been wanting gentle she had come to the wrong man. She was completely at the will of Cullen, his grip effectively pinning her in place, his pace becoming brutal as he pounded into her. The sweet, sometimes shy Commander, that people at Skyhold had come to know and love, was gone now. Instead being replaced by a dominating man who was taking just what he wanted and giving her one hell of a ride.

Being on his knees meant that Cullen's hands were free to do as their pleased and he was more then happy to make use of them. While one hand gripped tightly to Evelyn's hip to stop her from going anywhere, the other slipped from her waist down to between her legs. Expert fingers found her sensitive bud and began to work it, causing her to arch her back as small ripples of pleasure run through her body. Her own fingers dug into bed sheets, anything to keep herself grounded and stop her from slipping completely over the edge.

Cullen's hot breath fanned over her shoulder as he leaned over her body, his larger frame easily covering her smaller one. Evelyn's red hair had fallen to one side, leaving her shoulder and neck exposed to the Commander, who took the opportunity to nibble his way to the one spot which made her melt under his lips. It was all becoming too much for Evelyn, her body beginning to shake with need. This was just what she had been hoping for when she had slipped into his office at the start of the evening and now she didn't want it to stop. The problem was her control was slipping and once it had started to go there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Before she had a chance to warn him, Cullen's name was ripped from Evelyn's lips as she tumbled over the edge, stars dancing in front of her eyes as her body was rocked with waves of pleasure. She felt Cullen give a final thrust before he too joined her, his body shuddering above her and his teeth sinking into her neck. If she had thought that what she had felt down on the Commander's desk was good, it was nothing compared to what she was experiencing now. Her whole body seemed to tingle, the feeling of Cullen pulsing within her heightening the feeling the longer they stayed together.

Finally, once they had both regained the ability to breath evenly, he slipped from her and fell to his side on the bed next to her. Evelyn's legs quickly gave out under her, causing her to slump down by the Commander. Silence fell between them as they lay taking deep breaths, both of them looking up at the cluster of stars which could be seen shining through the gap in the tower's roof.

"Now we can fall to sleep on each other." Evelyn said with a smile, snuggling back into the warm embrace of the Commander. He chuckled against her ear, throwing an arm over her body to pull her tightly against him. It felt right to lay within his arms, exhausted but satisfied, the woody smell of Cullen wrapping itself around her and soothing her. She knew she should try to stay awake instead of falling to sleep straight afterwards, but she couldn't help it. If this was the best sleep she had ever had, then she would have to visit Cullen in the evening more often.

* * *

The call of the morning birds woke Evelyn, drawing her out of what had been a pleasant dream for the first time in ages. Stretching out, she couldn't help the smile which pulled at her lips when she felt the weight at her back. For a moment, as the memories of the night before had come flooding back to her, she had been worried that everything had been a dream. A new cruel way for her mind to torment her as she slept. But that fear evaporated the moment she turned in place and laid eyes upon the sleeping form of the Commander at her side.

Even when he was sleeping he was beautiful. Tussled blonde hair spilling over his pillows, bedsheets having slipped down to rest dangerous low on his hips, revealing the muscular body she adored. The Inquisitor spent a few minutes just watching him, wanting to drew out their time together for as long as possible. The night before had been perfect, more so then she could have hoped for. She had pictured having some fun and instead she had had her world rocked. It was enough to make any woman want more. Finally she dragged her eyes away from Cullen and climbed out of bed.

While the Commander was still sleeping, Evelyn made her way down the ladder to collect up some of the items which had been discarded in their haste the night before. She looked towards the locked door and wondered whether it would be better for her to leave before the Commander woke up. She knew the longer she left it the more likely she was to be spotted by someone as she left the tower, but she couldn't bring herself to leave just yet.

After what they had done there was no going back in their relationship and even if there was a way, she didn't want to. Cullen was the man for her and the whole of Skyhold knowing that wasn't going to change anything. After redressing, the Inquisitor climbed the ladder once more and collected up the final items she was missing. Setting herself on the edge of the bed, she pulled on a sock in turn before reaching for her shoes. Cullen loudly huffed out a breath before shuffling in his spot, muttered words tumbling out of his mouth as he slept.

Evelyn ignored the shoe she had been reaching for and instead turned to better hear what was coming from the Commander. His head turned this way and that on the pillow, eyebrows drawn together as words tumbled from his mouth.

"No... Leave me. Leave me..." With a start the Commander woke, eyes shooting open and rapidly scanning the room as he slowly came out of his dream. The sudden start had caused him to lift off of the pillows as his body had jerked awake, and it was only as he came back to reality that he began to lay back down.

"Bad dreams?" Evelyn asked as she looked down at Cullen for a moment before returning her attention to the task at hand, grabbing one of her shoes and tugging it onto her foot. She didn't want to overwhelm him, knowing first hand how helpful a little space was after waking from a horrible dream.

"They always are. Without lyrium, they've worse." Cullen sunk back onto the pillows as he spoke, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. Only after he seemed to calm a little did he allow his eyes to open and turn to her. Slowly he moved on to his side and propped himself up on his arm, causing the sheet to fall away completely. Neither one of them seemed to notice as they looked into each other's eyes.

"I didn't mean to worry you." Cullen brought a hand up and gently caressed the Inquisitor's face, a small smile playing on his lips as he looked at her. She couldn't help but melt into his touch, enjoying the warmth which radiated from his skin. Even after having a bad dream he was worrying about her. The man really was too good for her.

"You can let me worry about you a little." Evelyn replied, her own lips pulling into a bright smile as she returned the gesture and cupped the Commander's cheek. This was what normal couples did. Woke up together, shared what was bothering them, looked out for each other. The thought that maybe they could be just like a regular couple made her heart flatter uncontrollable.

A laugh left Cullen at her words, his hand falling away from her face and coming to rest on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze as it did. The worry which had been pulling at his features when he woke had disappeared now. "All right." He said before gently pulling her forward slightly so their foreheads could touch.

"You are... I have never felt anything like this." The Commander's voice got quieter as he spoke, as if he was trying not to scare her away. The thing was, Evelyn couldn't think of anything that Cullen could say that would scare her away. She had faced monsters, demons and even her own worst nightmares. Nothing was going to stop from her having what she wanted in life and he was exactly that.

"I love you. You know that, right?" There, she had said it and there was no taking back the words now they had left her lips. A tiny voice in the back of Evelyn's mind tried to cast doubt on the situation, trying to make her think that the Commander wasn't going to return her feelings. But she was quick to stamp out such thinking. Her brain could try to be as logically as it wanted, but her heart knew that she loved the man before her and he loved her too.

"I love you too." There was no hesitation in Cullen's voice as he spoke, just pure unwavering honesty. The happiness which filled her was overwhelming and so she was happy that the Commander took the lead and pulled her in for a kiss. It was a slow yet deep kiss, one which drew her in and reignited the desire which had burned through her veins the night before.

Slowly they broke apart, taking a moment to regain their breath and bring their heartbeats back to normal. Their hands slipped away from each other as the Inquisitor sat back up straight. She knew that Cullen wasn't a mage but he had to have weaved some sort of spell to cause her body to react so strongly to his touch. A simple kiss and she wanted to jump his bones again. It was startling but amazing all at the same time.

"Whatever happens, I'm here for you." Evelyn said after a few moments, grabbing up her other boot to put it on and looking back at Cullen once she had. He had settled himself back onto the pillows, smiling as he watched her. The faint sound of activity around Skyhold reached them through the open roof, signalling it was time to get up and return to being the official Inquisitor. She would have happily spent the rest of the day in bed with Cullen, maybe going a few more rounds, but sadly duty always called.

"As I am for you." Cullen replied, placing an arm behind his head as he rested. He looked so content with life and she couldn't blame him. Giving a small laugh, Evelyn leaned forwards to place a quick kiss to the Commander's cheek before standing up and walking over to the hatch which lead back down to his office below. She took a moment to look back at the man in the bed, happy to see him smiling at her. Whatever happened now, they were in it together and Evelyn had to admit she wouldn't want it any other way. Her days of having haunted dreams were over and she hoped that together they could make it so Cullen could too enjoy life with peaceful sleep.

The End


End file.
